- Okay, let's be honest. The hottest summer of your life, right? Even as we speak, it's one of those damp,
- oppressive evenings that Tennessee Williams got at least three plays out of. Right now, the only relief
- in sight is, not so fast. Remember, on January 15th, you may miss this very much. So on tonight's Back
- Porch Bloomington, a few sweaty performances by myself and the boys, balanced ever so nicely by the
- tuba santas.
- The fighting cop girl makes me mad. So I stopped the car and I turned around. That girl in the edge
- went back to town. It's another week without something to show her. But I'm better off poor than a scavenger.
- I don't want to work for no friend.
- I need a job and I'm bad, bad I need a job and I'm bad, bad
- I've seen her in the movies. I've seen her in the magazine. I remember love eternally even when I work
- a handheld dream. Well, she looks so good in lipstick and those grown-up clothes. I was helpless as
- a baby when she starts her pose.
- And I saw her was underneath a movie parking. She was posing on a poster looking grown up as a child
- could be. Well, I must have been a pal when I was younger than me. The only thing I'm looking for is
- one little kiss. Sometimes she acts precocious. I know she's just an average girl.
- She might be six years out of diverse, but to me, she's still a bride to me. Well, I know that in the
- 40s, she'll be nothing at all. By then, I'll probably graduate to law in the fall. Got cardboard in
- the frame, you know my taste good.
- I've seen her in the movies. I've seen her in the magazines. I remember love eternally when I wake up
- and I'll grin. Well, she looked so good in lipstick and those Calvin clients. The most helpless ass
- of baby, Lord, I wish she were mine. Some say she acts precocious. I know she's just an average girl.
- Thank you.
- Don't you know what's going on? I've been taking shots all night to beat Rumpage at the turn out ride.
- And it's all been happening right next door. Why ever since those two moved in to turn that trailer
- to a den of sin, I've been sending you a tire.
- I know there's a lot still on the books If you don't end Paul, somehow will that look? Cause it's all
- been happening right next door
- They don't even wait till it's late. You better conduct the raid as soon as you can. I say, looky here,
- looky here. I say, looky here, looky here. Hey, Sheriff, don't let no one's going on. I got my telephoto
- lens, 16 rolls of evidence. And it's all been happening right next door.
- the rain as soon as you can. And I'll be a slap on the cuffs, drag them out and make them rub them up.
- And tell them what you've got for proof. And when they ask where you get that from, you can't tell them
- your wisdom as they come. It's all been happening right next door.
- Tell me, why are you kids going to stay in New York? We're not staying in New York, we're booked for
- over the holidays. Where? The Colombian pine tree Vermont. Oh, that sounds very Vermont-y. Should be
- beautiful this time of the year in Vermont, all that snow and everything. Yeah, yeah, beautiful.
- Herd trees, clean pine air. Very beautiful, just what we need. Oh, wonderful. Could you come up for
- a couple of days?
- Well, I don't know. I wish you could. It'd be awfully nice. Miss Haynes, if you're ever under a falling
- building and somebody runs up and offers to pick you up and carry you to safety, don't think,
- don't pause, don't hesitate a moment. Just spit in his eye. What did that mean? It means we're going
- to Vermont. Oh, boy! Might not be bad at that, you know, the snow-covered slopes and skiing.
- Christianas and the stemming and the potsing and the shushing, hot buttered rum, light on the butter,
- and snow. Snow, snow. Snow, snow, snow. It won't be long before we'll all be there with snow. Snow,
- snow. I want to wash my hands, my face, and hair with snow.
- Snow, I long to clear a path and lift a spade of snow. Snow, to see a great big man entirely made of
- snow. Snow, where it's snowing all winter through. That's where I want to be. Snowball throwing, that's
- what I'll do.
- I'm longing to ski through the snow Those glistening houses that seem to be built of snow Snow To see
- a mountain covered with a quilt of snow What is Christmas with no snow? Snow White Christmas with no
- snow Snow Snow Snow
- I'll soon be there with snow. I'll wash my hair with snow. And with a spade of snow, I'll build a man
- that's made of snow. I'd love to stay up with you, but I recommend a little shut-eye go to sleep.
- Christmas concert on the square in Bloomington. We want to thank you all for coming and especially for
- bringing all these lovely children. Our first selection was a destiny for Dallas, O Come All Ye Faithful.
- We're going to play it again and we hope you will remember the words to at least the first verse and
- that you might sing it through with us the second time around. So we'll give it to you once more and
- then please join us and sing O Come All Ye Faithful.
- Time around.
- our fine citizens have been laid off their jobs. We do have a high unemployment rate, certainly higher
- than last Christmas, and our needs are much greater than ever before. So please open your hearts, open
- your wallets, and we have two tuba bells up here which are welcome to receive your contributions. And
- I know that many people during the Christmas
- great services of the Salvation Army. We'll be most grateful to you. A very, very great Christmas Carol.
- not blitzin'. Uh, has a big red nose, I remember that. Who? Who? Rudolph! Rudolph! You've got it. Thanks
- a lot. I would never have gotten to this song without that.
- One, two, three.
- a charter bus to Kalamazoo, Michigan. If anybody would like to sign up in the back. Elvis is living
- there. We'll be taking the video crew. According to at least two magazines I read, he's up there in
- Kalamazoo and we're going to go visit him. He's dropped out of sight since his untimely demise in 1977.
- The last word from the Weekly World News was that Priscilla was buying him some slacks at Safeway.
- I thought he got his slacks by mail. Oh, there's a change in the life. Son of a gun. We're going to
- go up to Kalamazoo and visit with the king. This is a king song. You know this, Juan.
- be found I'm sitting here all alone if you can come around at least on the telephone but now don't be cruel
- It was something that I might have said. Oh, please let's forget the past. Because the future looks
- bright ahead. Now don't be cruel.
- Yes.
- Hello.
- It's a hardware here on the piano. It's a bowling trophy, the American Legion President's Award, 1985.
- And I'm ashamed to say I bought it at the Salvation Army for 75 cents. But my bowling game ain't bad.
- It's genetic to Polish people that they can bowl halfway decently. I've got a good hook.
- put it up here for inspiration. All right. This tune is, I bowl these games for you.
- You must know it's true. I love you, baby. You must know it's true. For over 15 years, I've owned these
- games for you.
- that match the crystal set. I want them all for you. You'll spend those nights alone. But ain't it nice
- to know you helped to win them too. I get scared when I told that lie.
- Look on your sweet face I feel fine I love you baby You must know it's true
- hounding you, oh, honeybunch. Yeah, honeybunch, why don't you sell that joy and come away with me? Today
- you got a phone call from that man downtown. He wrote that letter you threw away. It's Monday, 9 o'clock.
- He'll tell you what they found. On it that his office made a year of taxes you haven't paid, honeybunch.
- Back porch Bloomington is underwritten in part
- by a grant from Cook, Incorporated.