WEBVTT 00:00:13.794 --> 00:00:23.132 - It's a real pleasure for us to welcome all of you, lots of old friends, some new faces, and this is 00:00:23.132 --> 00:00:32.657 - our 30th anniversary reading. It's hard to imagine that long. So it's a very special occasion for us, 00:00:32.657 --> 00:00:42.181 - and we're glad that you're here to share it with us. And after the reading, we have things to eat and 00:00:42.181 --> 00:00:43.582 - a cake to cut. 00:00:43.746 --> 00:00:52.972 - So we hope that you'll all be able to stay for that. I did want to, we do want to thank some people 00:00:52.972 --> 00:01:02.568 - who've been important in making this happen and all of the things that you see out there. Want to thank 00:01:02.568 --> 00:01:11.979 - Patricia Colon for all of her design work on the CDs and the posters. Carlos Colon of Megagrooves for 00:01:11.979 --> 00:01:13.086 - Engineering 00:01:14.722 --> 00:01:22.905 - Shauna Ritter and Deborah Phelps for their assistance with the CD and introductions in an original music 00:01:22.905 --> 00:01:31.166 - and playing. Helen May and May's Greenhouse for the plants. I want to thank the John Waldron Arts Center, 00:01:31.166 --> 00:01:39.038 - which has provided us a home for many years now for these readings. I want to especially thank Carol 00:01:39.038 --> 00:01:43.870 - Hoagel and Mike Price for booking and technical arrangements. 00:01:44.258 --> 00:01:51.934 - Leanne Atkins for working at the door, Kim Zimmerman for videotaping the performance, and everybody 00:01:51.934 --> 00:02:00.223 - who's joined us as a member over all of the years, and last but not least, you, the audience, for listening 00:02:00.223 --> 00:02:08.282 - and making these readings wonderful occasions for all of us. It's my pleasure now to introduce the first 00:02:08.282 --> 00:02:13.118 - reader, Joyce B. Adams. She's lived in Bloomington since 1991, 00:02:13.346 --> 00:02:24.144 - A little known fact about Joyce is that she's traveled through every township in Connecticut. There's 00:02:24.144 --> 00:02:34.941 - more than 150 of them. Words in all shapes have been her passion. She has been a seller of used books 00:02:34.941 --> 00:02:41.822 - and a librarian and is a wonderful poet. Joyce. Thank you, Anya. 00:02:42.114 --> 00:02:54.319 - I didn't bring poems from 30 years ago. The two I'll start with are in my book, A Secret Swing, and 00:02:54.319 --> 00:03:06.767 - are about 11 years old. Autumn question. A Thursday sky has drunk up the brightness of trees, leaving 00:03:06.767 --> 00:03:09.086 - pale shadow colors 00:03:09.442 --> 00:03:18.741 - of leather, sandstone, and fading bone. Only a young maple still prances yellow, given gleaned by a 00:03:18.741 --> 00:03:28.225 - frame of green pines. The cornrows are parchment ghosts, dry as an old man's mind, that bends over to 00:03:28.225 --> 00:03:36.222 - tin, the withered overturned stems of old loves and hates, the stubble of past works, 00:03:36.546 --> 00:03:48.651 - straightening only when it contemplates what autumn sleeves will dance the round above his grave. Third 00:03:48.651 --> 00:04:00.407 - generation. Omar wore dresses to garden and hike the Volksmarch. Omar beat rugs with an iron flower, 00:04:00.407 --> 00:04:04.830 - never learned to drive, quoted Goethe 00:04:04.962 --> 00:04:13.901 - while dad's uncertain knife attacked the roast. Know you the house, its roof on columns rests. I never 00:04:13.901 --> 00:04:23.101 - walked into her upstairs rooms until I'd pled the case for passage with the scarred and jumbled treasures 00:04:23.101 --> 00:04:32.127 - that permitted entry. In some bureau there lay I knew the secret of a never named uncle. When I stepped 00:04:32.127 --> 00:04:33.950 - off the rug to peek, 00:04:34.530 --> 00:04:43.602 - The room was watching, so I hurried back as mom in daughter-in-law uniform sought to gain territory. 00:04:43.602 --> 00:04:52.765 - At home, I didn't dry three forks apiece or struggle to keep linen clean at dinner. But then home had 00:04:52.765 --> 00:05:03.454 - no Schubert summer nights when opa's photo shook for joy at scratchy Leder. And in the homebound Studebaker, I inhaled 00:05:03.586 --> 00:05:14.879 - whole kingdoms from my parting gift, an ancient rose. These are much newer. The next one I'll read is 00:05:14.879 --> 00:05:26.393 - on our CD, which you'll be seeing later on. Feathers. Don't look at an albatross or let women on board. 00:05:26.393 --> 00:05:30.046 - Breast milk provides immunities. 00:05:30.594 --> 00:05:37.852 - The pelican feeds its young from its breast. The little twins rest on their double down pillows. Owls 00:05:37.852 --> 00:05:44.967 - are death. In the dark, wandering eyes wend their way, rendering every disguised thing visible. One 00:05:44.967 --> 00:05:52.509 - pair of eyes rolled back at dawn, dragging a giant black magnolia tree. Nights, my neighbour got fragrant 00:05:52.509 --> 00:05:53.790 - from her jasmine. 00:05:54.978 --> 00:06:02.255 - At Christmas, drunk driving is at its highest statistically. It's difficult to book a flight on holiday. 00:06:02.255 --> 00:06:08.840 - New Year's means evening gowns pluming out over taxi seats. Dazzle me pink with constellations 00:06:08.840 --> 00:06:16.325 - on Independence Day. The bald eagle knows the Declaration and Constitution by heart. After near extinction, 00:06:16.325 --> 00:06:22.078 - the bison is being restored and buffalo are becoming a popular and unique product. 00:06:22.914 --> 00:06:30.267 - Small egrets associate with cattle. White strewn with birds, the California rice fields achieve green 00:06:30.267 --> 00:06:37.549 - to the fifth power. Six is green, blue is 14. Dawn rides in on Robin's wings. Three is yellow, eight 00:06:37.549 --> 00:06:44.830 - pints to a gallon. Call on me anytime for calligraphy carved with a genuine quill. The border can be 00:06:44.830 --> 00:06:50.814 - gold and purple. She's the girl in the lavender hat. No, I don't know her parents. 00:06:50.978 --> 00:06:59.510 - To refill my drink, I stroke a swirling lake of slippery voices. In the hot noon sun, bubbles burst 00:06:59.510 --> 00:07:08.213 - over stone, shoe soles sizzle down city blocks like a breakfast griddle. The crow adjusts his sextant 00:07:08.213 --> 00:07:17.086 - and navigates his short line as the sun singes his wings. The pinions of Icarus paled as they liquefied 00:07:17.086 --> 00:07:19.902 - on his plunge into raging waves. 00:07:20.642 --> 00:07:32.712 - The Gulf of Mexico is subject to severe hurricanes and subsequent flooding. Noah's dove flew back with 00:07:32.712 --> 00:07:44.547 - the sprig, but our bird is lost at sea. Combustible. Sun drizzles over hot asphalt, rolls into stiff 00:07:44.547 --> 00:07:48.766 - shoulder grass, memory a dry light, 00:07:49.250 --> 00:07:58.232 - outlines each walking hour, littered Sunday street, lethargic air, taught pink rose buds at driveway, 00:07:58.232 --> 00:08:07.038 - black holes crowding church lot still, rich coffee from styrofoam railroad line over cinder gravel, 00:08:07.038 --> 00:08:16.108 - food of fire not yet struck memory, damp morning pillows, off-white plastic nests of supermarket eggs, 00:08:16.108 --> 00:08:19.102 - telephone half voice, I hear you, 00:08:19.490 --> 00:08:29.293 - Ecru pumps size nine telephone days on rung. Six left turns on weekday drives. Tan rice steams as beige 00:08:29.293 --> 00:08:39.097 - tofu stir fries. The wrong, wrong ring. Props with hollow backs rest slantwise on backstage walls. This 00:08:39.097 --> 00:08:47.486 - tinder life at a given moment offers itself to flare of shame or fury, dry midday light, 00:08:47.714 --> 00:08:55.237 - flames last night's scenes quick shuffled through comedy of errors, through melodramatic accusations 00:08:55.237 --> 00:09:02.834 - to hasty exit left. Cinder's cool today, sun will too. Past the deserted insurance agents, the family 00:09:02.834 --> 00:09:10.505 - restaurant now stands three hours darkened. Crows pick pavement, then green threaded wings rise to sun 00:09:10.505 --> 00:09:14.974 - side. Pupils shrink to delineate their purple black spines. 00:09:15.522 --> 00:09:26.321 - glare smolders under shade tree rows, street narrows toward horizon. The shadows suggest an act too. 00:09:26.321 --> 00:09:37.121 - The last one that I'll read tonight was inspired by an exhibit at the Indiana University Art Museum. 00:09:37.121 --> 00:09:44.926 - Coffin in the form of a fish rendered at the workshop of Ernest Anangkwe 00:09:45.506 --> 00:09:55.553 - in Tishigana. The pink fish stretches long as a canoe, swims in air with vibrant fins, yellow as a parade 00:09:55.553 --> 00:10:05.884 - float over its museum platform, ready for the carnival tilt-a-whirl. Missy, mister, you need a killer-diller 00:10:05.884 --> 00:10:13.182 - thrill, you need chill, try-a, try-a, it's tight, you sit light won't spill. 00:10:13.314 --> 00:10:22.511 - slide in for a fly inside the shiny sea where the octopus hides. Try a right now Nicola ticket, best 00:10:22.511 --> 00:10:32.254 - bargain in the carny. Try a ride through forever. One ticket works fine for time past all time. Thank you. 00:10:47.074 --> 00:10:56.528 - in the Bloomington area as a storyteller and visual artist, Patricia C. Coleman is also an accomplished 00:10:56.528 --> 00:11:05.800 - poet. She is co-host of WFHB's A Cycle of Poets, and hostess and producer of the Fourth Friday Poetry 00:11:05.800 --> 00:11:15.254 - Series at the Runciful Spoon, as well as facilitator of Poets for Peace. She has seven works on display 00:11:15.254 --> 00:11:16.254 - currently, 00:11:16.386 --> 00:11:34.483 - at Roots Vegetarian Restaurant. Let's welcome Patricia Coleman. Good evening. I'm going to begin by 00:11:34.483 --> 00:11:44.798 - reading just a really short poem called Poems That Ride. 00:11:46.594 --> 00:11:57.500 - to take a ticket, just open your ears and listen to poems that ride on sound, music, chant, tone, 00:11:57.500 --> 00:12:08.739 - and breath. Some hum atop connections unfolding within and through unknown spiraling beats. The next 00:12:08.739 --> 00:12:14.526 - two poems I'm going to read are from the early 70s. 00:12:17.218 --> 00:12:27.514 - Spring War, 1970. This is the coming of spring, but wait. This is not like any other spring. The grass 00:12:27.514 --> 00:12:38.209 - does not come up green, the flowers do not bloom, and there is no laughter of children. The sun is shining 00:12:38.209 --> 00:12:46.206 - brightly. I hear some birds singing, but wait. This is unlike any other spring. 00:12:46.658 --> 00:12:56.679 - Where are the children? Where is the laughter? Where is the grass? Where is the blooming flower? I don't 00:12:56.679 --> 00:13:06.223 - see the children. I don't see the grass. I don't see the blooming flower. All I see is what used to 00:13:06.223 --> 00:13:14.526 - be children laughing. All I see is where grass may have come up and it once was green. 00:13:15.426 --> 00:13:24.288 - All I see is what started out as a blooming flower. Where has it all gone? It has gone with the bombs, 00:13:24.288 --> 00:13:33.150 - the mass killings, the POW camps, the machine guns, the mortars, the grenades, the killing of innocent 00:13:33.150 --> 00:13:40.894 - people, and the dying of many of our brothers. This spring and the joys that come with it 00:13:41.154 --> 00:13:53.940 - And the feeling of being alive has gone where all good things go with the coming of war. I was 15 when 00:13:53.940 --> 00:14:06.353 - I wrote that. What I told myself. This is from 1970, 1971. I told myself that I would never be like 00:14:06.353 --> 00:14:11.070 - them. I did not want to be like them. 00:14:11.330 --> 00:14:20.685 - and ever have my children wishing for our family to come to an end like I did. And then I found myself 00:14:20.685 --> 00:14:29.858 - in a relationship, and I saw that I was too much like them. I had become like them, only speaking in 00:14:29.858 --> 00:14:39.486 - fear when the pot dared to boil over, reopening scars within my young heart, spreading bottomless sadness 00:14:39.618 --> 00:14:49.300 - all over my world, I had become like them. They dared not try to find words to express their hurting 00:14:49.300 --> 00:14:59.078 - hearts. And though I thought I would not ever be like them, I found myself just like them. Festering, 00:14:59.078 --> 00:15:05.022 - silently suffering, I knew that I must go away to save myself 00:15:05.218 --> 00:15:15.716 - I must go away or dissolve into that unhappy stream they had flowed into. I must go away or be lost 00:15:15.716 --> 00:15:26.214 - as I felt my parents lost to us children and to themselves, but found them sadly inside of me. From 00:15:26.214 --> 00:15:34.718 - the rest of these are, I think, a little happier. Well, actually, one more here. 00:15:37.762 --> 00:15:46.268 - This one is titled Bitter Feelings, and I wrote this about one of my brothers who is a year younger 00:15:46.268 --> 00:15:54.774 - than I am. Bitter Feelings. That is not how I want to think of him. Sadness and pain, brilliant and 00:15:54.774 --> 00:16:03.620 - sharp as bald lightning. I do not want to hear the slow gathering of breath or imagine the slow journey 00:16:03.620 --> 00:16:05.406 - around a city block. 00:16:05.602 --> 00:16:16.190 - hands on rungs of shiny metal, walker rungs, him stepping one foot in front of the other, or him tapping 00:16:16.190 --> 00:16:26.375 - along upon his two canes. I wonder if he thinks of the jazz that he so loves to help to distract his 00:16:26.375 --> 00:16:34.846 - agitated mind from the emotional pressure of being so present in his understandings 00:16:35.138 --> 00:16:47.438 - of the consequences of war. Raging, bitter, wounded, wheezing, he followed in traditional footsteps 00:16:47.438 --> 00:17:01.214 - like a trusting hawklit. I believe he was expecting a better outcome than that of our father. He could not see. 00:17:01.602 --> 00:17:12.309 - that when you examine the fine print about property, it never grants the same considerations of the 00:17:12.309 --> 00:17:23.123 - ruling selves. His voice carries the strength of his feelings of his personal betrayal. Clearly now, 00:17:23.123 --> 00:17:31.582 - he is broken glass. Awake now, he exists in a fouled nest, betrayed by country 00:17:31.970 --> 00:17:41.810 - the beloved country he served. And for that commitment to the army at 49, he now has but a sliver of 00:17:41.810 --> 00:17:51.649 - health in his life. With it, he pledges to let the truth of his circumstances be known with what gas 00:17:51.649 --> 00:17:57.982 - of breath he has left. Now it's going to be a little bit easier. 00:18:01.538 --> 00:18:12.199 - Imagine Bee's Journey. This is on our CD. Palm-sized blossoms, butter yellow, and squash orange, covering 00:18:12.199 --> 00:18:22.860 - tall poplars like dangling cloth origami Christmas flowers. Bees climb skyward to reach, the sweet nectar 00:18:22.860 --> 00:18:28.894 - returning to the hive dizzy from the weight of heavy loads. 00:18:29.634 --> 00:18:39.277 - Dusted leg sacks full of golden gleanings following an invisible line, drawing clear directions to the 00:18:39.277 --> 00:18:48.826 - high map. A lone hummingbird dashes about in delight, sipping from the berry bowl of wild honeysuckle 00:18:48.826 --> 00:18:58.750 - bush fruit and shallow wells of wild rose blossom nectar. Neither bee nor hummingbird knows of our fears, 00:18:58.882 --> 00:19:12.416 - or of our sufferings. Perhaps if we could gather in love enough, we too might fly dizzy in our fullness, 00:19:12.416 --> 00:19:25.822 - our radiant hearts gleaming. Germination test. Selecting and assorted few seeds from small packets kept 00:19:25.922 --> 00:19:35.945 - 13 years fast inside old ball glass jar tombs, laid them out in marked rows identifying them with names 00:19:35.945 --> 00:19:46.161 - like Carolina Seva, Tarahumara, Leather Britches, Trail of Tears, Long Island Cheese, Mississippi Silver, 00:19:46.161 --> 00:19:49.534 - Purple Hole, and Whippoorill Peas. 00:19:49.922 --> 00:19:58.669 - Each upon double layered moistened paper towels, plastic wrap covered to hold in moisture. Old newspapers 00:19:58.669 --> 00:20:07.003 - topping all off blocks out the light. All this because we hope that some of the seeds might after so 00:20:07.003 --> 00:20:15.419 - much time still awaken and slowly swell to life. Turning back papers, inspecting day by day to behold 00:20:15.419 --> 00:20:18.142 - life's miracle contained within. 00:20:18.242 --> 00:20:27.224 - Creamy solid centers of stillness, hoping for small magnetic charges, pulses of life to emerge through 00:20:27.224 --> 00:20:36.990 - dry, smooth seed casings. Then, oh, miracle of concealed essence, time has not dried most of your being hearts. 00:20:37.762 --> 00:20:46.301 - to stone. Look there at the obvious wrinkling of swollen skin. It is a life sign. And notice there how 00:20:46.301 --> 00:20:54.591 - a white nub has appeared and protrudes from the tip of that speckled one. Three days more and large 00:20:54.591 --> 00:21:03.710 - curved roots protrude from a few of the larger old beings, each wearing thousands of short defined root hairs 00:21:03.842 --> 00:21:15.950 - thick like old shag fur, forcing paper towels to rise upward. Taking out a sharp knife, I hand it to 00:21:15.950 --> 00:21:28.658 - you and watch as your small, careful hands slowly slice a saturated seed open along an already separating 00:21:28.658 --> 00:21:32.254 - side seam, and inside we find 00:21:32.770 --> 00:21:43.963 - miniature perfection, cotyledons, the first green leaves to come laying together much like clasping 00:21:43.963 --> 00:21:55.715 - hands. And this is my last poem, swim. Diving in and finding the water surface far above the head, swim. 00:21:55.715 --> 00:22:02.654 - Will I be lost into confusion within this moment of darkness? 00:22:03.650 --> 00:22:14.347 - Swim. What can the body remember about being whole and floating intently before the first breath? Swim. 00:22:14.347 --> 00:22:24.736 - Confidence is a cracked seed birthing unseen slender hairy roots, becoming visible as stems, leaves, 00:22:24.736 --> 00:22:31.422 - fruits, and seeds. Swim. Slight sip of air reserved opens heart. 00:22:32.194 --> 00:22:44.385 - Clear mind sees all. It understands this moment. Rising clear. Streak like a dolphin. Break through 00:22:44.385 --> 00:22:57.185 - the surface tension. Breathe. Breathe. Then dive deep within. Swim. Transmute irritations. Make a pearl. 00:22:57.185 --> 00:22:58.526 - Thank you. 00:23:16.258 --> 00:23:25.292 - has lived in Bloomington since 1979 and has been a member of Five Women Poets since 2001. She lives 00:23:25.292 --> 00:23:33.694 - with two very self-satisfied cats and works in one of the branch libraries at IU and Haynes. 00:23:42.082 --> 00:23:49.824 - We may have figured by now that we talked about having each of us read a poem from about 30 years ago, 00:23:49.824 --> 00:23:57.341 - if we had one, in honor of the 30th anniversary. This is potentially the most embarrassing to me as 00:23:57.341 --> 00:24:04.481 - the youngest member of the group. I dug back in my notebooks. I was 13, and this was me at 13. 00:24:04.481 --> 00:24:11.998 - Summer song. All one word, summer song, because that's artsy, and I was artsy, and 13. Summer song. 00:24:13.154 --> 00:24:21.050 - If I were a goddess on a cloud, I would look down on this land and smile. And my smile would warm the 00:24:21.050 --> 00:24:29.023 - earth like the summer sun. As it is, I'm only a girl accustomed to summer. And I look up at that cloud 00:24:29.023 --> 00:24:36.763 - goddess, and I feel her warm smile. And think, as I watch the cloud shapes blur and change with the 00:24:36.763 --> 00:24:39.550 - wind, I think, she cannot be happy. 00:24:39.874 --> 00:24:49.097 - for she has only a cloud to rest on, and I have all the world. I'm only a girl accustomed to summer, 00:24:49.097 --> 00:24:58.502 - but I look back at that cloud goddess and I smile back at her. That was 13. Moving on. Have we plugged 00:24:58.502 --> 00:25:08.638 - our CD yet? We have a CD. This poem's on it. This is called Fog After Fog, and it does start out with a little 00:25:09.090 --> 00:25:18.761 - Older teenage angst at 19. 1, 1980. Hushed night, March. I'm 18 and in college. Limestone buildings 00:25:18.761 --> 00:25:29.109 - blurred, streetlights hanging their desperate glow. I want to be somewhere, someone else. The road outside 00:25:29.109 --> 00:25:34.718 - this courtyard could be cobblestone, the cars, carriages. 00:25:35.906 --> 00:25:44.767 - I imagine the hollow clop of hooves in timeless mist, how it would echo in this veiled landscape, how 00:25:44.767 --> 00:25:53.802 - far away I could go. I watch the window of someone I want who is not alone tonight. Fog is damp against 00:25:53.802 --> 00:26:02.576 - my skin, bitter iron on my tongue. Two, 1995. Traveling back roads at night, the two of us silent. I 00:26:02.576 --> 00:26:05.182 - can smell the lake from here. 00:26:06.402 --> 00:26:14.692 - Instead of going home, she just drives, not looking at me, the radio a static blur. If we just keep 00:26:14.692 --> 00:26:23.646 - driving, there's no one else. The fog collects in small valleys and closes in around us, our own headlights 00:26:23.646 --> 00:26:32.019 - reflecting against what looks like solid wall, but is only missed that we are driving into headlong, 00:26:32.019 --> 00:26:35.998 - full speed. Three, 2001. Morning at the harbor. 00:26:36.706 --> 00:26:43.998 - Tied to this wharf, the complicated tangle of fishing boats sighs with every tiny wave. The ferry is 00:26:43.998 --> 00:26:50.857 - late, and I wait on this bench outside the harbor master's station, watching eagles disappear, 00:26:50.857 --> 00:26:58.149 - white on white, into fog. The mist and the masts of all these boats look like an old painting, as if 00:26:58.149 --> 00:27:04.286 - I've stepped into watercolor. I could live here, learn to name these shades of gray. 00:27:04.674 --> 00:27:15.007 - Everything is gray and damp and everything is water. And everything, even the high speed ferry to Boston, 00:27:15.007 --> 00:27:25.048 - everything waits for the lovely fog to lift. This next poem, this is something I've never done before. 00:27:25.048 --> 00:27:33.822 - I'm reading a poem that I wrote today. They tell you not to do this, I'm doing it anyway. 00:27:34.018 --> 00:27:40.717 - It's not even typed. I went to an incredible concert last night up at Clues Hall with Bobby McBaron, 00:27:40.717 --> 00:27:48.013 - and I was so blown away. He's just so wonderful. And I thought a lot about how singers and dancers experience 00:27:48.013 --> 00:27:54.779 - their creativity through the body and how envious I am of that as a writer, because it's very easy as 00:27:54.779 --> 00:28:01.412 - a writer to get separated from your body and your work. And I thought about learning to swim, which 00:28:01.412 --> 00:28:03.070 - just happened last year. 00:28:04.386 --> 00:28:13.794 - This is called to listen by singing. Oh, the difference between dialogue and harmony. How I understood 00:28:13.794 --> 00:28:23.202 - in one blue moment to give myself to water and I swam. How the oh of my mouth singing was a listening. 00:28:23.202 --> 00:28:31.422 - The difference between to and with love. How we became one beast. How pleasure pleasures. 00:28:32.034 --> 00:28:40.022 - the long night and the body of water. There are things beyond words that I've known all my life and 00:28:40.022 --> 00:28:48.090 - don't yet know it. Here, right now, the rising moon with its unbearable pull. The tides a cliche, an 00:28:48.090 --> 00:28:55.678 - inevitable harvest. There is knowledge in the body, wisdom in water. At 42, I learned to swim. 00:28:57.538 --> 00:29:07.931 - A sudden descant rains down upon my head, a cloud of angels, and I open my own mouth. The oh of my voice, 00:29:07.931 --> 00:29:17.736 - my voice. This is called Provincetown August. And there's a phrase in here that I was sitting there 00:29:17.736 --> 00:29:24.894 - in Provincetown writing this poem at a picnic table just off the harbor. 00:29:25.474 --> 00:29:32.175 - I was writing, and I stopped, and I looked up, and I thought, what should I write next? And a young 00:29:32.175 --> 00:29:39.344 - man said something in his cell phone. Oh, OK, that's what I write next. Serendipity. Provincetown, August. 00:29:39.344 --> 00:29:46.380 - Tonight, the world is so beautiful and brave that I want to marry it. The world is beautiful and already 00:29:46.380 --> 00:29:53.349 - dying, as am I. Commercial Street is alive with its high season stream of drag queens on roller skates, 00:29:53.349 --> 00:29:54.622 - golden retrievers, 00:29:54.850 --> 00:30:02.371 - suburban dyke families with SUV strollers, et cetera. A young man says into his cell phone, the world 00:30:02.371 --> 00:30:09.891 - is broad and wide, and it is. The quartered moon rises over the tall granite monument that last night 00:30:09.891 --> 00:30:17.486 - was wrapped in fog. The breeze across the harbor smells of salt and slightly of fish. The disco at the 00:30:17.486 --> 00:30:24.638 - end of the beach thumps and bumps insistent. The end of the season is just a hint on the breeze. 00:30:25.186 --> 00:30:35.391 - the slightest, most barely noticeable chill, elusive as a fluke through fog, there, just there, and 00:30:35.391 --> 00:30:45.596 - gone for now. The dying world is beautiful and brave, and I do want to marry it. And tonight I find 00:30:45.596 --> 00:30:50.494 - that I already have. This is called My Clothes. 00:30:52.226 --> 00:30:59.839 - Some days I can't even wear my clothes without getting them muddy or bloody or losing my jewelry or 00:30:59.839 --> 00:31:07.833 - tripping over my own shoes like a fool. Days like that, I wish I could be unclothed without being naked, 00:31:07.833 --> 00:31:15.523 - sleek as a minke whale, protected as a swift fish. I would fly from morning into night and introduce 00:31:15.523 --> 00:31:21.918 - myself to angels, relying on their forbearance and the skeleton key of my own name. 00:31:23.298 --> 00:31:30.875 - Then I notice the stain on my collar, ink on my sleeve, the undarned sock where my toe pokes out. And 00:31:30.875 --> 00:31:38.526 - I stumble back to earth, where every rise and set, each transit of the stars, hurdles past outside the 00:31:38.526 --> 00:31:46.178 - confines of my stunningly limited grace. This last poem is pretty new, but not from today. Pretty new. 00:31:46.178 --> 00:31:53.086 - It hasn't got a title yet. It did when I took it into the group, and now it doesn't anymore. 00:31:55.746 --> 00:32:03.652 - But it will again. And this is about a dog. It might be called Dog Poem. The dog leans against my leg, 00:32:03.652 --> 00:32:11.327 - wriggles his stub-tailed butt, twists his neck till he's peering sideways up at me as I scratch and 00:32:11.327 --> 00:32:19.310 - rub the itchy places. He's been chasing herons all morning. That wildness, their grace, their legs that 00:32:19.310 --> 00:32:24.990 - trail behind them as they lift, their certain flight, both arrow and bow, 00:32:25.954 --> 00:32:33.068 - How the dog must have barked and darted back and forth, nearly launched himself into the early Sunday 00:32:33.068 --> 00:32:40.531 - sky, sleek with joy and wanting. How he must have curved around himself, spiraled, slick black fur flying, 00:32:40.531 --> 00:32:47.576 - herons launching unperturbed, his frenetic barks, as their wings describe to the currents left after 00:32:47.576 --> 00:32:53.086 - last night's rain. I scratched and rubbed the itchy places, and he is pleased. 00:32:53.570 --> 00:33:01.861 - has forgotten herons and all that uncoiling wildness, is content, delighted even, bowing and squirming 00:33:01.861 --> 00:33:10.393 - in a full-bodied grin, to be near humans, to be nearly human. But underneath the comedy of his outrageous 00:33:10.393 --> 00:33:16.510 - happiness and love, I hear the faintest whispered rush of wings. Thank you. 00:33:26.370 --> 00:33:33.249 - Antonia Matthew is one of our founding members of Five Women Poets. I asked her what to say to introduce 00:33:33.249 --> 00:33:39.866 - her and she did tell me what not to say and so I won't. But Tonia's voice has been one of the steady 00:33:39.866 --> 00:33:46.614 - voices in Bloomington over the years, a steady voice of the women's community and the poetry community 00:33:46.614 --> 00:33:53.166 - and the peace community and she's much appreciated in this town and we're very grateful to have her 00:33:53.166 --> 00:33:55.262 - with us tonight, Tonia Matthew. 00:34:05.474 --> 00:34:12.519 - Thank you, Ann. That was a very mild introduction. I appreciate it. And I know Anya said this at the 00:34:12.519 --> 00:34:19.774 - beginning, but I so want to appreciate you being here. I look around and I see many faces who have been 00:34:19.774 --> 00:34:26.819 - with us, certainly at readings when we first started doing meetings in 1984, which was 20 years ago, 00:34:26.819 --> 00:34:32.190 - but over the years that we've been writing. And we so appreciate you because 00:34:32.674 --> 00:34:40.832 - Poetry needs its listeners, and you've been such faithful listeners. It's been really wonderful. My 00:34:40.832 --> 00:34:49.152 - first poem is going to come from the little, this is how we were putting chapbooks out in those days, 00:34:49.152 --> 00:34:57.718 - that after Sandra Gilbert's class where Helen and I met, we put out a class chapbook. We called it Rose, 00:34:57.718 --> 00:35:01.470 - Where Did You Get Those Fruitful Ambiguities? 00:35:02.754 --> 00:35:10.093 - And I can explain to you during the reception why we recorded that if you want to. And I'm going to 00:35:10.093 --> 00:35:17.431 - read, we were given an exercise to write a list poem and I think Helen is also going to write, read 00:35:17.431 --> 00:35:24.990 - her list poem too. So I'm going to start off by reading one of these poems and it's called Frog, hence 00:35:24.990 --> 00:35:31.742 - the shirt. Frog, frog leap, frog gleap, leap gleaping to the pond like thumbnails creaking, 00:35:32.130 --> 00:35:42.278 - Up trees like suckered gray leaves creeping, yellow eyes popping, wide throat throbbing, you bug-tongue 00:35:42.278 --> 00:35:52.524 - log-hogger. Hopping from old tales of princely ball catcher and pillow snatcher. In Isaac Walton's book, 00:35:52.524 --> 00:35:59.550 - used lovingly, sewn with one stitch from the upper front leg to a hook. 00:36:00.706 --> 00:36:09.777 - Hatching from spawn in jars by windows, you roly-poly through the nursery bedrooms to be heard in sidewalk 00:36:09.777 --> 00:36:19.102 - cafes across the channel, legs elegantly crossed, ordering pano. Refreshed, you leap continents, infiltrating 00:36:19.102 --> 00:36:28.766 - the Malaysian jungle to harmonize nightly with enemy snipers. Like marsh fire, you rise from the cauldron to lie, 00:36:28.866 --> 00:36:45.425 - an edible dissection on the table among the formaldehyde and the white bordeaux. You stick in my throat. 00:36:45.425 --> 00:36:55.518 - In the end, I, too, croak." As well as knowing Helen as a poet, 00:36:56.642 --> 00:37:05.876 - In the writing groups, I also worked for a summer at her greenhouse, her family greenhouse. And this 00:37:05.876 --> 00:37:15.751 - is an event that happened one summer at the greenhouse. Among the vegetables, summer day at the greenhouse, 00:37:15.751 --> 00:37:24.985 - the potatoes in the bin are growing fingers, white, fat. As I stand bagging onions, I see them. They 00:37:24.985 --> 00:37:26.174 - point at me. 00:37:27.266 --> 00:37:38.669 - Here's one. Here's one. They beckon. Come, come. A heavy, damp earthiness rises like a cloud. I ignore 00:37:38.669 --> 00:37:50.182 - these potatoes. We have not been introduced. They have not attended the right schools. They do not hold 00:37:50.182 --> 00:37:56.382 - a knife and fork correctly. The potatoes are unabashed. 00:37:57.090 --> 00:38:06.790 - They jostle each other grittily, continue to reach out. Each fingertip is a moon eye reflecting emptiness. 00:38:06.790 --> 00:38:16.037 - The onions rustle nervously as the potatoes begin to sing, fingers beating time, follow us, follow us 00:38:16.037 --> 00:38:25.374 - into the dark. We will take you away into the dark. The sun is still shining through the open windows, 00:38:25.538 --> 00:38:35.116 - Customers pass unconcerned. A breeze comes in the doorway. The smaller potatoes begin to whistle. The 00:38:35.116 --> 00:38:44.694 - song grows louder. Take you, take you away, away. Then, in the breeze, the tomato and marigold plants 00:38:44.694 --> 00:38:52.958 - are shaken. Their leaves rub together and a sharp scent rises. The potatoes grow quiet. 00:38:54.210 --> 00:39:05.682 - Their fingers relax. The little moons sink. Their voices subside. Into the dark. Into the dark. Time 00:39:05.682 --> 00:39:17.381 - for your break. I wipe my forehead with a dusty hand and quickly, fingers shaking, I bag the potatoes, 00:39:17.381 --> 00:39:21.470 - stapling the top closed twice over. 00:39:33.026 --> 00:39:43.208 - You knew what goes on in the back room in the nursery. The next poem I'm going to read is sort of nostalgic. 00:39:43.208 --> 00:39:53.016 - I remember reading it at Aquarius Books when Aquarius was still open and the store was actually on North 00:39:53.016 --> 00:39:59.742 - Grant. It had a funny little room at the north side of the North Grant. 00:40:01.090 --> 00:40:09.436 - building where now Cafe Django is and we have a little reading there and I just wanted to read a poem 00:40:09.436 --> 00:40:17.701 - from that time. It's called My Mother Provides a Clue. Breakfast is over and before we walk the dogs 00:40:17.701 --> 00:40:26.375 - on this first morning of my visit, I help my mother make my stepfather's bed. We smooth the bottom sheet, 00:40:26.375 --> 00:40:29.566 - fold his pajamas, plump up his pillow. 00:40:30.498 --> 00:40:40.590 - Now we secure the top sheet with a corner fold whose name I have forgotten. I'm a perfectionist, says 00:40:40.590 --> 00:40:50.880 - my mother briskly. She comes over to my side of the bed and refolds the sheet. When my younger daughter 00:40:50.880 --> 00:41:00.478 - read this poem, she said, well, mom, when I load the dishwasher, I know you go over and redo it. 00:41:03.874 --> 00:41:13.955 - So I guess mothers, you know, we're all alike. This is a new poem. It's somewhat a change of pace. It's 00:41:13.955 --> 00:41:24.132 - called Living in the World. All morning, two robins calling, calling, a fledgling out of the nest again. 00:41:24.132 --> 00:41:33.534 - Where? One bird on a neighbor's tall back fence, the other swaying on a telephone wire, calling. 00:41:33.858 --> 00:41:42.976 - calling. These cries pull me out into the high weeds by the fence. The weeds, the wild rose tangle, 00:41:42.976 --> 00:41:52.277 - the low mulberry branches surrounding me in green light. The fledgling must be near, but I can't see, 00:41:52.277 --> 00:42:00.574 - hear it. What if I frightened the parents away? Is it in a bush or crouched on the ground? 00:42:01.314 --> 00:42:11.279 - Neighborhood cats are sure to be drawn to this plaintiff calling, calling. I imagine them stalking through 00:42:11.279 --> 00:42:20.686 - dimness to circle, tails lashing. I slap at mosquitoes, then stand still, hold my breath. Nothing. I 00:42:20.686 --> 00:42:30.558 - can't rescue them all, I tell myself. It's time to go to work. I stumble out, thorns catching my clothes. 00:42:31.394 --> 00:42:42.442 - Haven't I tried? Haven't I done all I can? But there is still that calling, calling. Too many fallen 00:42:42.442 --> 00:42:53.928 - fledglings. Too many marauding cats. And across the world, weeping, cursing, rises over bloodied bodies, 00:42:53.928 --> 00:42:55.678 - smoking rubble. 00:42:59.714 --> 00:43:07.674 - My last poem is an old poem again. It appeared in our first chapbook, which is out of print, unfortunately, 00:43:07.674 --> 00:43:15.340 - although we gave a copy to the library so you could go and read it at the public library. And it's kind 00:43:15.340 --> 00:43:22.784 - of a favorite of mine. It has memories from childhood, memories of the Second World War, memories of 00:43:22.784 --> 00:43:27.870 - England. An act of remembrance for Mercier. I drive past your house. 00:43:28.450 --> 00:43:37.709 - my wartime home, always my home from home. Surely I just missed seeing you this time. Surely you are 00:43:37.709 --> 00:43:47.150 - out of town. The stone lions and the climbing roses are not there, nor the wartime potato patch in the 00:43:47.150 --> 00:43:56.409 - flower bed, nor the bricked in windows that made our basement air raid shelter. Yet I can imagine if 00:43:56.409 --> 00:43:58.334 - I pulled up in front 00:43:58.882 --> 00:44:07.875 - got out, opened the gate, and walked up the gravel drive. You would be there in the doorway before I 00:44:07.875 --> 00:44:16.867 - had reached the steps, stout and smiling, ginger hair crinkled, arms wide. Tonya, my dear, embracing 00:44:16.867 --> 00:44:25.771 - me beneath the enormous engraved picture of Wellington's victory and Queen Victoria's words. Please 00:44:25.771 --> 00:44:26.750 - understand 00:44:26.946 --> 00:44:34.695 - that no one is depressed in this house. We are not interested in the possibility of defeat. 00:44:34.695 --> 00:44:43.201 - It does not exist. All through the party, I kept looking towards the door, listening for something I 00:44:43.201 --> 00:44:51.708 - couldn't hear. I was expecting you to arrive, bringing that laughter I counted on for years. But one 00:44:51.708 --> 00:44:55.582 - winter morning, getting up early, as you did, 00:44:56.130 --> 00:45:06.244 - Through air raids and holidays, fog and sun, to make your cup of tea, you fell and left without saying 00:45:06.244 --> 00:45:16.162 - goodbye. I have not cried for you. I have not said goodbye. I imagine you still in the doorway, arms 00:45:16.162 --> 00:45:25.982 - wide to greet me. How else can I bear your absence? As real and permanent as the loss of the alums, 00:45:26.402 --> 00:45:38.195 - at the end of the garden. Thank you. It's such an honor to have had 30 years of delight of listening 00:45:38.195 --> 00:45:50.105 - to Helen's poetry and working with her on my poetry and our friend's poetry and her poetry. It's just 00:45:50.105 --> 00:45:53.374 - been an amazing experience. 00:45:54.434 --> 00:46:04.022 - Helen is from Monroe County and she knows the people and places of this land. And over these 30 years, 00:46:04.022 --> 00:46:13.703 - she has shared with us her childhood memories, her hopes, her dreams, her sorrows, and her abiding love 00:46:13.703 --> 00:46:20.126 - and attention to the land. She's our Mary Oliver. Welcome Helen May. 00:46:33.410 --> 00:46:43.461 - I guess you know nothing's going to measure up to that. We have been writing as a group since 74. And 00:46:43.461 --> 00:46:53.610 - I went back and looked at some poems that I thought maybe I would scrape up for you. There is a famous 00:46:53.610 --> 00:47:03.070 - poem called 13 Ways of Looking at a Blackbird. Well, we were given the assignment of writing 13 00:47:03.298 --> 00:47:15.889 - ways poem of some kind. So the subject I chose was apples. Thirteen apples. One, three last apples hung 00:47:15.889 --> 00:47:28.358 - like portents on the topmost bow. Two, he exhaled orchard odors and both of his lidless eyes reflected 00:47:28.358 --> 00:47:30.174 - apples. Three, 00:47:32.002 --> 00:47:43.826 - Dear lady, you need not be ashamed. Atalanta, two years hence, will also stoop for apples. Four. Dark 00:47:43.826 --> 00:47:55.650 - apple seeds glittered dangerous in her hand. Cyanide, she said. Five. As divers plunge, so we entered 00:47:55.650 --> 00:48:01.214 - the cellar and its musky sea of apple air. Six. 00:48:02.178 --> 00:48:15.176 - sharp-edged felicity to lie legs dangling in a tree and eat with pilfered salt forbidden apples. Seven. 00:48:15.176 --> 00:48:27.550 - Born in the plattered boar's head or a smile, perhaps because its mouth was full of apples. Eight. 00:48:28.386 --> 00:48:38.454 - The apples we noted somewhat sourly were all crabs. Nine. That night to Westward, someone spilled the 00:48:38.454 --> 00:48:48.324 - apples. The sound was disturbingly like thunder. Ten. Having discovered gravity, I became uneasy at 00:48:48.324 --> 00:48:53.950 - the thought of having sat so often under apples. Eleven. 00:48:55.682 --> 00:49:05.154 - That hot October noon, alone among endless apples, all I heard were crickets and the whine of yellow 00:49:05.154 --> 00:49:15.095 - jackets. No voice, no falling foot, no calling bird. 12. Realizing that the trees wore snow, not flowers, 00:49:15.095 --> 00:49:24.286 - he thought so much for hopes of apples. And 13. Oh, comfort me with love, for I'm sick of apples. 00:49:29.698 --> 00:49:38.168 - And this one is about a year later when we first were working in the group. We had just been out west 00:49:38.168 --> 00:49:46.472 - traveling and I'd seen a few things that impressed me quite a bit. Lame Deer, Montana, the Northern 00:49:46.472 --> 00:49:55.191 - Cheyenne Crafts Center. The screen on the lower half of the door is torn. The door sags. The porch floor 00:49:55.191 --> 00:49:58.430 - is worn smooth. Inside it is the same. 00:49:59.042 --> 00:50:07.700 - Walls, scratched glass counters, the desk in the next room, the weathered woman sitting there, all worn 00:50:07.700 --> 00:50:16.025 - with much long use. Inside the cases and behind are brilliant beadwork, earrings, necklaces, white, 00:50:16.025 --> 00:50:24.350 - blue, yellow, red, and standing silent, reserved before strangers, three young women of the people. 00:50:31.074 --> 00:50:39.598 - Yeah, I'm reading vacation poems tonight. Twilight in the Smokies. The mountains turn blue as evening 00:50:39.598 --> 00:50:48.038 - settles in. Ranked one behind another, they look like waves, a sea with a rise and fall too slow for 00:50:48.038 --> 00:50:56.561 - human eyes. Wide oceans once lay here. Their ancient beds have long been turned to stone, then folded 00:50:56.561 --> 00:50:57.982 - and raised high. 00:50:58.850 --> 00:51:10.323 - Pressed somewhere in those layers swim the bones of old leviathans still moving with the rhythms of 00:51:10.323 --> 00:51:22.140 - their ancient sea. This is from Utah. Seeing the desert. Stand in the Escalante wilderness beneath the 00:51:22.140 --> 00:51:24.894 - shade of a pinyon pine. 00:51:25.826 --> 00:51:33.277 - Feel your skin crack with dryness like the mud bottom of an empty pond. Cracks that feel deep enough 00:51:33.277 --> 00:51:40.803 - to let out the red inside. Let escape the pudding, a curdle of brains, the pitiful hidden moisture of 00:51:40.803 --> 00:51:48.402 - lungs that makes breathing possible. It makes breathing possible. Imagine living here, not knowing any 00:51:48.402 --> 00:51:53.566 - other place. Then look again. See the staunch ramparts of bare stone. 00:51:53.826 --> 00:52:05.449 - the lace of little footprints in the dust. Inhale the profound perfume of the resin sweating pine. Now 00:52:05.449 --> 00:52:16.734 - we're in Oregon. Oregon Beach. When daylight came after a night of storm, we walked the windy shore 00:52:16.734 --> 00:52:23.166 - from tide to tide, leaving home just as it began to ebb. 00:52:23.746 --> 00:52:32.499 - No pause, no rest till noon, just at its turn at an inlet where bare silver, I'm sorry, let me start 00:52:32.499 --> 00:52:41.164 - over again. When daylight came after a night of storm, we walked the windy shore from tide to tide, 00:52:41.164 --> 00:52:49.917 - leaving home just as it began to ebb. No pause to rest till noon, just at its turn at an inlet where 00:52:49.917 --> 00:52:53.470 - bare worn silvered logs were thrown high 00:52:53.762 --> 00:53:02.089 - on the granite shingle. There dug in our pockets for bread and cheese, poured out our beach-combed treasures 00:53:02.089 --> 00:53:09.957 - on the rocks, counted our shells, agates, and bits of wood. The prize of all, a float of bubbly glass, 00:53:09.957 --> 00:53:17.901 - its blue globe somehow drifted safely here from nets cast months ago in Asian seas. Then sheltered from 00:53:17.901 --> 00:53:19.582 - the wind by the logs, 00:53:19.874 --> 00:53:28.685 - from the sea wind by the logs, we napped and woke to find the tide full turned, and beginning to gnaw 00:53:28.685 --> 00:53:37.322 - at the beach again. Reaching home at twilight, built a fire, and now, from our snug kitchen window, 00:53:37.322 --> 00:53:45.960 - watched the sun descend, wink out extinguished in the curve of sea." And this is about where I live 00:53:45.960 --> 00:53:48.638 - here in Monroe County, ghosts. 00:53:49.186 --> 00:53:57.622 - Monroe County, Indiana. Our old house has stood here near the curve of a creek for at least 100 years. 00:53:57.622 --> 00:54:06.058 - It sits at the top of a smooth rise that drops green toward the stream. It's a pleasant place, usually 00:54:06.058 --> 00:54:14.248 - a breeze in summer, with the murmur of the water day and night. Sometimes in the garden after rain, 00:54:14.248 --> 00:54:17.278 - we find arrowheads, whole or broken, 00:54:17.826 --> 00:54:24.653 - or flaked pieces of flint just right to fill the space between fingers and palm, scrapers or cutters 00:54:24.653 --> 00:54:31.413 - for some work. My mind sees Indians living here, a good place near the water with shade, maybe with 00:54:31.413 --> 00:54:38.308 - gardens of corn down slope where the ground levels out a little, maybe just a camp while berries were 00:54:38.308 --> 00:54:40.606 - ripe or during deer hunting time. 00:54:41.570 --> 00:54:48.415 - They say Indians used to travel upstream in canoes when the water was high. They went as far as the 00:54:48.415 --> 00:54:55.533 - grist mill that used to stand five or six bins farther up. The mill was built by one of the first white 00:54:55.533 --> 00:55:02.720 - men to live in this area. Between here and there, a broad field lies beside the creek. There is a little 00:55:02.720 --> 00:55:06.142 - hill in its center, now half pasture, half trees. 00:55:06.658 --> 00:55:13.674 - My father said it was the place the old settlers' picnic used to be held each summer. I imagine them 00:55:13.674 --> 00:55:20.760 - gathering there with their wagons and children, their fried chicken, ham and biscuits, buttermilk and 00:55:20.760 --> 00:55:28.262 - homemade wine. I wish I could really see what happened in these places, give form and truth to imagination. 00:55:28.262 --> 00:55:35.070 - I'd like to watch the hands that form the flint. I'd like to taste the buttermilk and after dark, 00:55:36.098 --> 00:55:46.879 - Sit by a fire and listen to gossip, family news, and ghost stories. This is a very new poem. A Virtue. 00:55:46.879 --> 00:55:57.450 - The porcelain cat sits on the atagerre. He is black with white nose and chin, white tips on paws and 00:55:57.450 --> 00:56:03.102 - tail. His expression entirely neutral, his eyes wide. 00:56:04.610 --> 00:56:13.686 - Leaves of the plant beside him arch over, fall well below the glass shelf, but do not touch him. Sitting 00:56:13.686 --> 00:56:22.502 - apart, he sees all, reserves judgment, and if he has opinions, keeps them to himself. And this is the 00:56:22.502 --> 00:56:31.232 - last poem I brought this evening. Bird of Darkness. Listen to the eerie calls of barred owls perched 00:56:31.232 --> 00:56:34.430 - along the wooded edges of the creek. 00:56:36.514 --> 00:56:44.143 - In the winters of night, their soft flight gives no warning to the little beasts they harvest from winter 00:56:44.143 --> 00:56:51.411 - fields. Just a terrifying flare of wings, the stun of talons driven home. Death descends in silence, 00:56:51.411 --> 00:56:58.752 - punctures life's fragile bubble, bears the body off for food, sudden, simple, done. Bird of darkness, 00:56:58.752 --> 00:57:03.358 - when you come for me, surprise me in the smother of your wings. 00:57:04.002 --> 00:57:24.555 - Play no cat games, but strike the blow both hard and true. Carry me where you will and swallow me, hair, 00:57:24.555 --> 00:57:33.950 - hide, and bones complete. Thank you. Thank you. 00:57:34.050 --> 00:57:45.157 - Thank you. Our final reader is Anya Peterson-Royce. She's a very accomplished lady. She's been with 00:57:45.157 --> 00:57:56.596 - us for more than 10 years, I think. She's a very vivacious, warm personality. She has been a ballerina 00:57:56.596 --> 00:58:03.038 - with some success. She is now a professor of anthropology 00:58:03.170 --> 00:58:17.444 - a very quick-witted and funny person to be around. Anya? Some success in many entries, I might add. 00:58:17.444 --> 00:58:32.574 - Thank you, Helen. Some of these poems are new, some of them are old. Most of them come from things that I 00:58:33.026 --> 00:58:41.697 - as an anthropologist or as a dancer. The first one is Lizard Summons, and you need to know about datura 00:58:41.697 --> 00:58:50.617 - candida. It's a plant of the nightshade family, all parts of which are poisonous. And it's used to promote 00:58:50.617 --> 00:58:59.121 - visions. Lizard Summons. Sleeping where sorcery sings datura dream words that bind you to your lizard 00:58:59.121 --> 00:59:02.206 - self. Your black forked tongue darts 00:59:02.722 --> 00:59:11.706 - Probing for damp, sides heave in the glare of sun. Invisible against the bare grass, you call the bones 00:59:11.706 --> 00:59:20.518 - of the ancestors, wait. Slit eyes, drunk, white, like the trumpet bell promise of oblivion. Summoned, 00:59:20.518 --> 00:59:29.416 - they come, muttering, tongues clacking, gray with dust. Words pierce your body, long ago evil blossoms 00:59:29.416 --> 00:59:32.094 - like fire blooms in your mind. 00:59:33.282 --> 00:59:43.465 - Datura white, the chill of moonlight wakes you. Fire-burned ash all around you barren like whispers 00:59:43.465 --> 00:59:54.258 - of bone dust. Lizard track into the grass. Next one is in a requiem in memory of a man that I have worked 00:59:54.258 --> 01:00:00.062 - with for many years in southern Mexico. He was a healer. 01:00:01.474 --> 01:00:09.095 - becoming an ancestor in memory of Tafelie Healer. You died without me. You slipped away, hand in hand 01:00:09.095 --> 01:00:16.716 - with the sweet virgin who called you from your first vision. The nine days of prayers had passed when 01:00:16.716 --> 01:00:24.411 - I heard. Your flower body already lifted up, your image on the altar in its place. My photo, capturing 01:00:24.411 --> 01:00:28.670 - you fresh from this shower in your Calvin Klein t-shirt, 01:00:30.018 --> 01:00:37.835 - Your face keeps me company, your ancestor face. A candle flame tricks a smile, and I smile too, while 01:00:37.835 --> 01:00:45.575 - my heart grieves. I sent you armloads of flowers of the wild, white, and fragrant, green, and fresh, 01:00:45.575 --> 01:00:53.239 - nourishment for your journey, and candles to catch your soul. I have walked with you these 40 days, 01:00:53.239 --> 01:00:58.910 - my friend, hearing your voice, feeling your touch, willing my hummingbird 01:01:02.210 --> 01:01:15.139 - He gave me the hummingbird as my totem. So that was that. The next two are from a year ago when I was 01:01:15.139 --> 01:01:25.406 - in Huchita and I was there during Holy Week. So the first one is on Good Friday. 01:01:31.682 --> 01:01:39.167 - Ready with flowers, three saints have traveled their separate ways in fits and starts through dusty 01:01:39.167 --> 01:01:46.653 - streets. The white sun strips the softness from them. From the crowd that follows, sinew and sweat, 01:01:46.653 --> 01:01:54.288 - dust streaked faces, the pilgrims hunt shade under rooftops, trees, umbrellas, are drawn by the drama 01:01:54.288 --> 01:01:59.902 - of a son and his mother. As helpless as the beloved disciple, they witness 01:02:01.538 --> 01:02:10.457 - He lifted high the virgin of sorrows, sees her son bowed under the weight of the cross. Her tears flow 01:02:10.457 --> 01:02:19.290 - down the cheeks of the crowd. As brooding as the sun, the silence. No children chatter, no dogs bark. 01:02:19.290 --> 01:02:25.438 - The weeping soundless. Now they march again to the certainty of death. 01:02:33.986 --> 01:02:41.953 - evening of Good Friday in the same place. And you need to know there's a word in Zapotec Perelele. It's 01:02:41.953 --> 01:02:49.996 - a Zapotec word for a water bird, which is common in this part of Mexico. It's wild, but it allows itself 01:02:49.996 --> 01:02:57.733 - to be tamed by one person. When the person dies, the bird sings a piercing song made up of cascading 01:02:57.733 --> 01:03:00.414 - and descending notes. Good Friday. 01:03:01.250 --> 01:03:09.410 - The glass-painted coffin looms above the altar, seems to fill all the space in the small chapel. Its 01:03:09.410 --> 01:03:17.813 - sweet burden lies hidden, wrapped in black and silver. He draws us. His flowered body bathes us, washes 01:03:17.813 --> 01:03:25.246 - away sorrow. Falling notes of a berry lily, like the rain of the water wind, sing his life. 01:03:33.922 --> 01:03:41.220 - People have died this year who were important to me. So I seem to have picked a number of poems that 01:03:41.220 --> 01:03:48.519 - talk about that. This is one. I'm a young man who didn't die this year, but several years ago in the 01:03:48.519 --> 01:03:55.745 - same place in Mexico. Anatolio. Just three days ago I met you, Anatolio of the children. Young ones 01:03:55.745 --> 01:04:03.043 - clinging to your hands, others hiding shyly in the folds of your trousers. Today those children wash 01:04:03.043 --> 01:04:03.838 - your cough 01:04:04.098 --> 01:04:12.956 - their tears, as each in turn passes by and signs the cross. Your eyes are closed, the marks still visible 01:04:12.956 --> 01:04:21.479 - where flesh met steel and concrete. The boys especially loved you. Hernan and Pancho hold each other, 01:04:21.479 --> 01:04:30.170 - their grief echoing loudly in the shed turned chapel. Sister Estela tries to read the prayers, but loss 01:04:30.170 --> 01:04:34.014 - robs her of a voice, and we all cry with her. 01:04:34.146 --> 01:04:42.278 - is restless on my lap. Almost blind, the wails and sobs fill her world of shadows. She twists her face 01:04:42.278 --> 01:04:50.647 - close to mine and wipes my tears with one small hand. Orphans and caretakers, friends and all the priests 01:04:50.647 --> 01:04:58.937 - in Huchitan, weighed down by candles and flowers, the steamy heat of late afternoon and grief that nails 01:04:58.937 --> 01:05:02.174 - us breathless to these old metal chairs. 01:05:02.850 --> 01:05:12.641 - A rag-tag gathering we are, soaking up last glimpses before you disappear into the white satin of the 01:05:12.641 --> 01:05:22.239 - coffin. And we are left to trace your face in the sands of our imagination. Like Helen I travel to. 01:05:22.239 --> 01:05:31.838 - I don't have quite so many tonight. This one comes from my visit to Berkeley, which is my hometown. 01:05:33.538 --> 01:05:41.544 - Berkeley streets. Lean frame propped against worn red brick. He pulled a thin jacket around himself, 01:05:41.544 --> 01:05:49.550 - hunched into it, jammed his hands in the pockets. A sentinel, a messiah warrior space warped to this 01:05:49.550 --> 01:05:57.715 - shabby corner. His eyes scanned passersby, the rest of him immobile. He would propel himself straight, 01:05:57.715 --> 01:06:01.758 - hold out one hand, ask, would you have any change? 01:06:02.690 --> 01:06:11.342 - You have a nice day, he'd say, and rest his body again. Move to keep warm, he seemed to decide. I heard 01:06:11.342 --> 01:06:19.661 - the pain in his bones as he left the wall support, moving with a stiff-kneed walk of disintegrating 01:06:19.661 --> 01:06:28.063 - joints. He found a sunny corner, searched his pockets, then battered Walkman on. He moved to music I 01:06:28.063 --> 01:06:32.638 - couldn't hear and smiled, Fred Astaire in silver Nike. 01:06:37.858 --> 01:06:47.065 - For all creatures whose freedom has been taken away. Bear. In a pink flowered sundress, a small brown 01:06:47.065 --> 01:06:56.634 - bear jumped rope. Leather straps bound her muzzle or she might have smiled. She took her bows to applause 01:06:56.634 --> 01:07:04.126 - and children's squeals, sawdust and spotlights, spun sugar candy and caramel corn. 01:07:04.642 --> 01:07:14.457 - A world away from green cedar boughs and needle-covered moss. But a reprieve from the dirty straw matted 01:07:14.457 --> 01:07:24.179 - metal cage. Blackness unrelieved by stars. Her own dank smell of despair. The Circus. Four small tigers 01:07:24.179 --> 01:07:33.246 - the color of straw. Shabby reflections of their Bengal brothers peer anxiously from their wagon. 01:07:33.826 --> 01:07:41.534 - The roar of Parisian traffic surrounds them. The tent is struck folded away. The lone elephant snuffles 01:07:41.534 --> 01:07:49.242 - to herself in her darkened van. Cleaning the tiger cage is the last chore before the circuit slips away 01:07:49.242 --> 01:07:56.654 - to the next stop on the second class circuit. The keeper moves among his charges. The oldest tiger, 01:07:56.654 --> 01:08:03.102 - a veteran, lifts his head and snarls a warning as if remembering his youthful, fierce, 01:08:03.426 --> 01:08:12.310 - The keeper does not pause. The smallest tiger whiskers tense, pads past the open door, stops, 01:08:12.310 --> 01:08:21.951 - peers out, backs away. A close call, the freedom that beckoned for an instant. Better to practice his 01:08:21.951 --> 01:08:28.094 - roars and pedestal leaps, waiting for wringling brothers scouts. 01:08:38.274 --> 01:08:47.748 - Lemontour Beach, two snowy egrets in the sea damp air, legs stretched behind imperfect arabesques, dancers 01:08:47.748 --> 01:08:54.654 - frozen in impossible rachetes, breastbones parting the air for their feathery 01:09:19.682 --> 01:09:31.223 - all here and to share this wonderful event with us. It's been a pleasure, too, to have these wonderful 01:09:31.223 --> 01:09:42.651 - women to be companions with as we write. Now I'd like to ask all the poets to come up, please. What's 01:09:42.651 --> 01:09:49.150 - happening? We would like, at this time, especially today, 01:09:49.346 --> 01:09:56.208 - all of you and all of us, but especially Tonya and Helen. For 30 years of keeping this group together, 01:09:56.208 --> 01:09:58.206 - that is something impressive. 01:10:24.578 --> 01:10:32.957 - This is really lovely. This is really lovely. Thank you. And now we have a reception. There is food. 01:10:32.957 --> 01:10:41.833 - Please join us. Just one, two small things. One, a sort of thank you into space for all those who traveled 01:10:41.833 --> 01:10:50.129 - with us during the 30 years and are in other places writing other things. We really had a wonderful 01:10:50.129 --> 01:10:52.286 - companionship, didn't we? 01:10:54.274 --> 01:11:07.507 - And really, a special thank you tonight to Kara up there in the sound and light. She has done so well. 01:11:07.507 --> 01:11:10.334 - Thank you, thank you.