Good evening. Say it out louder so I know you can hear me. Good evening. Good evening. So welcome to
something like the 40th holiday follies. We don't know for sure. Let's see. I don't think it says it
on, but we've had about 40 holiday follies. My name is Rock. I'm the director of the school. And obviously
on behalf of
the students and faculty of the school, we want to welcome you all for coming tonight. Those of you
that haven't seen the Follies before, it started with the idea of having a talent show. And so we have
just a wide variety of acts, but the emphasis is on show, not necessarily the first word. So just really
support the kids doing it.
They have a great time doing it. Sometimes they get a little nervous, to say the least. But the support
from the audience really, really helps a lot during the show. I want to thank, we have sponsors for
the show. But before we talk about the sponsors, provide money that goes to the Harmony School Scholarship
Fund. About 90% of the kids here get some kind of scholarship
support, so we really appreciate all the supporters, and I'll be naming those here in a few minutes.
But most importantly, usually we don't really encourage people. We encourage people, but we certainly
don't strongly encourage them to make a donation the night of the Follies. It's really our gift to you,
the families and friends and alumni, family and friends and former alumni. It's our gift to all of you.
But we had quite a tragedy for one of our families last
I think it was Thursday night, one of the really cold nights. And their property, which is about 10,000
square feet of commercial space and their house in Lyons, Indiana, which is out in the western part
of Greene County, they just had a horrible fire, just a horrible fire. And it was all over the news
if you lived in that part of the state and the Terre Haute newspaper covered it. So it was really, really bad.
the insurance issues in question, and they need a lot of help. And they have a GoFundMe page where they're
trying to raise $8,000, but they're very much short of that goal, and they need a lot more help. And
I don't know if they're QR. I think there might be a QR code out there that you can take a picture of
that takes you to the GoFundMe page. But we're also trying to encourage people to make a donation tonight
at the door, and you can do that at intermission. We're trying to raise a thousand.
take in about $300 tonight at the Follies. But we're really trying to take in $1,000 tonight to give
to the family to get through the holidays. And at intermission, there's high schools selling food for
the spring trip. But they're also going to have a box there, if I get it there, to make donations at
the food window over here in the kitchen. So if you can really give something
If you didn't do it already coming in, please do. The family needs a lot of help, and our thoughts are
really with them. Can we give a shout out for the family, please? Just say, hip, hip, hooray! Oh! They
do need a lot of support. Also, for those of you that may be new to the building, there's two bathrooms
downstairs here. They're both right out here in the hallway and the other one.
is down on the long hallway. They're both gender neutral bathrooms, so anybody can use them. This year,
while this is around the 40th year for the Follies, this is, I just want to acknowledge, this is the
50th year for Harmony School. We did a big celebration in June, and those of you that attended, we really
appreciate it, but all of you that have lent us your support through the years, I really appreciate
that, and we really appreciate you guys supporting the school.
Let's hear for Harmony, too, for 50 years. So I want to thank our sponsors for tonight. The primary
sponsor is Commercial Service, which has really been a strong friend of Harmony. They also sponsor our
golf tournament, many other things. That's called a standing ovation sponsorship, so you don't have
to stand, but let's hear for Commercial Service.
And then one of our families is an Encore sponsor, and they are the Brightside Cafe over in Fountain
Square. So the Moore family, so. Then we have Baker Family Dentistry, Southern Indiana Pediatric Dentistry,
Bill C. Brown Associates, Cassidy Electric, Avers Pizza, the Inkwell Bakery and Cafe, and John Bethel
Title Company.
So thank you to all of our sponsors. We appreciate that. So I want to acknowledge Elaine, who's been
the director, the director this year, wherever, I don't know if the spotlight can find Elaine, but Elaine
stepped in to be the director this year while Todd was on sabbatical, and Todd has pitched in a lot too.
Other faculty, Zevin and Wes and Jamie have just done a wonderful job. And I want to bring out the students
that you won't see on stage tonight, but they're really helping a lot, are the two people up on the
spotlight, Keegan and Hannah. Keegan, Vivian,
Hannah on the spotlight. So I also wanted to, if you guys could shine the spotlight on Aidan and Ava
down there. And then we have Sefirah and Mayella and a bunch of people here in front. I think Mayella
is like the student director or something like that, so.
But we really want to thank all them. And then we have the people backstage who want to come out here,
the stage crew. If you guys want to come out here and say... So thanks to all you guys. So everybody,
so thank you for helping everybody. You guys can get back, but these are the people that, the ones I
mentioned are the people that you don't see on stage tonight that have made this whole thing a reality.
We have all the emcees that Jamie has worked with, and I'm gonna turn it over to the two first emcees
here in a minute. So again, thank you. It's not the solstice yet. I mean, we have a couple more days
for the solstice, but for those of you who haven't been here before, oftentimes it's on the solstice,
so we want to do a harmony howl for the solstice, okay? So one, two, three.
Okay, so happy holidays to all of you. This is our gift to you. Enjoy yourselves. Thank you. Don't forget
the family, please. It needs help. Hello and welcome to the 347th
the Biennial Harmony Holiday Follies. Thank you so much for coming to see your amazing children perform.
I didn't think most of you could see the quotation marks. It's fine. Please refrain from entering or
exiting the gym during acts. But talking on your phone is highly encouraged. Call grandma, brag, we
don't care.
Talking on your phone is highly encouraged. I already did that bit. Yeah. Yeah, okay. It's fine.
It's fine. Now we've got a heck of a show tonight. So our first act is The Birds by the ECP. Wait, wait,
wait. Let me hear some noise. I always wanted to do that. I always wanted to do that.
You can move it to the birds. It's probably good. My voice too? So is this too much then? Okay.
You're back to your feet up against the mat, okay?
Fly through my window, my turtle love Fly through my window, my turtle love Fly through my window, my
turtle love
Fly through my window, carnal, carnal, fly through my window, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal,
carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal,
carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal,
carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal,
carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal,
carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, carnal, car
Turkey vulture, turkey vulture, fly through my window. Turkey vulture, turkey vulture, fly through my
window. Turkey vulture, turkey vulture, fly through my window. Turkey vulture, turkey vulture, will
I put an event on?
Turkey vulture, turkey vulture, well, I'll pour you me ventana. Turkey vulture, turkey vulture, well,
I'll pour you me ventana. Cobra, caramelo, spinach, and banana. Fly through my window, my window. Fly
through my window, my window. And by my light, please stand.
Our bluebirds fly through my window. Our bluebirds fly through my window. Our bluebirds fly through
my window.
Bluebird, bluebird, will a-pour me ventana. Bluebird, bluebird, will a-pour me ventana. Bluebird, bluebird,
will a-pour me ventana. Fly through my window, my turtle love. Fly through my window, my turtle love.
And fly, my lost sister.
Little bird, little bird, fly through my window. Little bird, little bird, fly through my window.
Little bird, little bird, fly through my window. Fly in my box of candy. Parito, parito, vuela por mi
ventana. Parito, parito, vuela por mi ventana. Parito, parito, vuela por mi ventana.
I fly through my window, my turnip, fly through my window, my turnip and my molasses cake.
That act was just wow. Wow. Okay. That act was just good. It reminds me of a joke. Hey, Nori. Hey, what?
What do you call a pile of cats? I don't know. What? A meow-ton. That's a good one. Hey, Morgan. What?
Knock, knock.
Barbie. Barbie who? Barbecue chicken. Halo Lynn. Hey what? Knock knock. Who's there? Donut. Donut who?
Donut open, it's a trick. And the next act is Jingle Bells by Myra and Carson.
We need to start over. We need to start over. We're going to do it again. Okay. Jingle bells,
jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in one horse open sleigh. Hey. Jingle bells,
jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in one horse open sleigh. Hey. Dash, shake
through the snow.
Oh Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells.
Wow, that was a really good act. Hey, Morgan. What? Knock, knock. Who's there? Cash. Cash who? No,
thank you. I prefer all bids. Hey, Lil Lin. Hey, what? Knock, knock.
Who's there? Dish. Dish who? Dish is the funniest joke ever. That's really funny. Hey, Nori. What? What
did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? I don't know. What did it say? It said, if you weren't
so fresh, we wouldn't be in this jam. That's a good one.
Taxi by the K2 class.
Wow, that act was really good. Anyway, hey Nori. What? What did the fish say when it swam into this
net wall? I don't know, what? Damn. Hey Morgan. What? What do you call a cow and a duck? I don't know,
what? Quackers and milk. Hey Lil' Lynn. Hey what? Knock knock. Who's there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome.
Hey, Nori. What? Knock, knock. Who's there? I owe. I owe who? Me. Now when are you going to pay me back?
OK. And the next act is Homemade Ocarina by Brion.
Hey, that act was wonderful, wasn't it? Okay, okay. I submitted my application to be an investor on
Shark Tank and they finally got back to me. Isn't this a show where the divers swim with the big great
white sharks? No, you're thinking of Shark Week. Shark Tank is when... Shark Tank
is the one where people pitch business ideas to sharks, millionaire investors. If they like their ideas,
they get a startup check to fund their plan. Oh, that's less entertaining. Are you kidding? Shark Tank
is the best reality show on TV, even better than the greatest reality show of all time, Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
So that letter says whether you get to be a shark or not, like a millionaire investor? Uh-huh. We'll
open it already.
This is great. I'm so proud of you. All right. The next act is Science Tricks by Gentle Lily and Anthony.
Hello, hello. And now witness the awesome power of science.
Science, science, science. First, we have Lily erupting a volcano. Wait for it. And now, Anthony demonstrates
the power of magnetism.
And last but certainly not least, Jindal will demonstrate the power of gravity, gravity, gravity, with
an egg drop, drop, drop. Yeah, science, science.
That act was amazing. Dad, dad, I'm so excited. I'm going to be an investor on Shark Tank. Oh, cool.
I'm so proud of you, son. I'm glad you got our crippling debt so suspiciously fast while also being
filed for unemployment. All in a day's work, I guess. On an unrelated note, I'm going to go get ready
now. But first, I want to tell a joke. Two whales.
or in a bar, and one whale says, and the other whale goes, go home, Frank, you're drunk. That's amazing.
The next act is The Science Project Goes Wrong by Jillian and Shailen.
I don't know if you saw, but a ladder fell on me backstage. I'm going through it. Jillian and Shailen
are working in their science lab, science lab, science lab. All will be OK as long as no one spills
Experiment X on them, Experiment X, Experiment X. It's a funny bit.
just died and you're applauding.
What a unique act. What a unique one, indeed. Excuse me, is this a set for Sharknado 4? Uh, what? Sharknado
4, the flippering. This is a show, this is a set for a show with sharks. So, Sharknado 4, perfect. What
do you know about sharks?
What do I know about sharks? Well, they have to understand different business models and marketing,
but mostly just be smart. Well, I love them. Even if they do have funky teeth. What? And beady eyes.
Oh my God! And they're kind of ugly. Downright evil.
But I don't really see them as powerful or anything. How dare you say I'm not powerful? Do you even
understand what you just said? I could purchase your whole estate and put you on the streets with the
snap of my fingers. Sharks don't have fingers. Anyways.
The next act is if you're happy and you know it, with Edda, Emma, Xylem, excuse me, and Cece.
The last lecture was pretty good. What do you think, Oliver? Yeah, it was pretty good. Yeah, you could
say that. Hey, Lucas. Yeah? Why did the M&M go to school? Why did the M&M go to school? Because he wanted
to be smarty. There's a lot of people here. I don't remember that being in the rehearsing.
I don't recall that. Hey Oliver, why should you never eat a clock? I don't know. Why should you never
eat a clock? It's time consuming. Ollie?
Why, I heard that laugh. Our next act is Magic Tricks by Ezra and Wicks. That kind of rhymed. Mike better fall.
My first trick, I'm gonna make this water disappear. And for my next act, I'll need my lovely assistant
over there.
to pick cards. Show it to those people. Is this your card? No.
And now my lovely assistant will make me disappear with cloth.
I was going to say a spotlight would be real convenient. Magic tricks. Hang on. It's on, Ollie. Just
talking to it. You got it. OK. We've got jokes. That's the thing that we do. Ollie, you know what happens
to an illegally parked frog? I don't know what happens. It gets towed away.
You get it? Because they're both amphibians, they're not the same. But you know how it is. Yeah,
there you go. A game. Yeah. What kind of car does a dog drive? What kind of car does a dog drive?
A Ferrari. He does this all the time. That's his only joke. Why? I like it hard. Yuki, you want to do
one? Yeah.
Hey, Gabe, how come frogs are such good liars? How come? Because they're amphibians. Not bad, not bad.
We're ready? OK. The next act is going to be Have It All by Jason Mraz, sung by the third and fourth
class. The three, four, the third and fourth grade.
If you could just give a shout out to Winston and Coley out there who should be with us. Hi Winston!
You can get through it. Okay. Are you scared? May you have a success or a success. May you have confidence
in your best.
You're going to get nothing more, nothing less. May you know the meaning of the word happiness. May
you always be full of meaning in your test. May you be free to act as you need to be. May you get your
rest. May you get your rest. And may the best of your todays lead the worst of your tomorrows. Whoa!
May the road that's laid be the road that you follow. Whoa! Well, here's to the hearts that you're going to break.
Here's to the infinite possible ways to love you. I want you to have it all. Here's to the good times
we're gonna have. You don't need money, you gotta free pass. Here's to the fact that I'll be sad without
you. I want you to have it all.
May you keep the chaos in the corner of your desks. May you keep the chaos in the corner of your desks.
May you keep the chaos in the corner of your desks. May you keep the chaos in the corner of your desks.
May you keep the chaos in the corner of your desks. May you keep the chaos in the corner of your desks.
May you keep the chaos in the corner of your desks.
I want you to have it all. I want you to have it all.
Yeah!
That was an interesting act. Yeah, that was a good act. Did you know that if a gecko gets attacked or
even just really scared, it drops its tail, runs off, and then grows a new one? That's crazy. Yeah,
geckos are amazing animals. That actually reminds me of a few jokes.
Why are geckos born storytellers? Which one of us? Oh, I don't know. Why? Because dropping a tail is
their nature. Hey, who's the judge? I have a joke, too. A gecko was cast in a play, but she had stage
fright. So she dropped her tail. Was she in The Follies?
You say I remember that. Hold on. I remember that. That tail stuck around. Was she in the Follies? That's
a good question. I don't know. I have a joke too. What do you call a gecko that's 50% off?
I don't know, what? A salamander. That's a knee slapper. The next act is All I Went for Christmas is
You by Emma and Clara.
Get this thing on. Get me over there in the back, huh? Okay, good. Okay. Okay, how are you doing, folks,
so far, huh? Yeah. That was pretty good, huh? What did you say? Yeah. Yeah. Pretty good piano, you know?
Yeah. But it's not as good as these jokes, though, wouldn't you say, huh?
You folks will know soon enough, though, so. Hey, Lucas. Yeah, what is it? What do you call an elf wearing
earmuffs? I don't know. What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
Oh, yeah. That's true. Yeah. But also, I'm pretty sure the next act you're probably going to need earmuffs for.
Yeah. Or like earplugs or something. A little hint of advice. Yeah. If you brought any of those items,
go get them now. Yeah. I feel like there should be around out in the hallway. Far away. Or else they're
sold out. Yeah. Which would be a shame. I might have bought all of them. But our next act is Pizza Day
with Mike and the Mechanics? OK. What? Mechanics? I guess so. OK. Give a round of applause, everyone.
Feel free to jump in on the chorus as the song progresses. All right, ready? All right. All right, ready?
P-I-double-Z-A-D-A, pizza day. P-I-double-Z-A-D-A, pizza day. All you need is a couple of dollars. Listen
to those children holler. P-I-double-Z-A-D-A.
Well, a couple of the kids in the ECP forgot their lunch and they were worried. But then they remembered
that it was Thursday and they'd get some pizza if they had some money. Out in the hallway waiting in
line, the K2 kids were waiting for the time when they could choose their favorite kind to get a slice
or two of that pizza pie. P-I-double-Z-A-D-A, pizza day. P-I-double-Z-A-D-A, pizza day. All you need
is a couple of dollars, listen.
Those children holler P-I-D-Z-A-D-A pizza day Well the three, four kids were trying to see Just how
much pizza they could eat Paul told them not to compete But Todd just ate his seventh piece Upstairs
you had me and Colleen Trying to keep the classroom clean At least by the standards of harmony But everywhere
you looked was pepperoni P-I-D-Z-A-D-A pizza day P-I-D-Z-A-D-A pizza day
All you need is a couple of dollars. Listen to those children holler, P-I-C-C-A-D-A, Pizza Day. And
then you had the middle school and the high school kids feeling pretty cool. But on Pizza Day, we're
all the same. If you want to eat, then you got to wait. So let's give it up for all the volunteers.
Student solidarity year after year. And sure, let's all give Zevon a cheer. After this, let's buy him a pizza.
P-I-double-Z-A-D-A pizza day. P-I-double-Z-A-D-A pizza day. All you need is a couple of dollars. Listen
to those children holler. P-I-double-Z-A-D-A pizza day. All you need is a couple of dollars. Listen
to those children holler. P-I-double-Z-A-D-A pizza day.
Wow. That was better than I expected. But did you get your earmuffs? Not me. You should have. That made
me hungry, though. Yes. Our next act is touch.
Song by Avery, Willow, and Eliza. Get your earmuffs now, now.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. And now, why did the fox cross the road?
Chasing the chicken. What are 10 things you can always count on?
Your fingers. Why did the fish cross the road? To get to the other tide. How can dads get to
who get so many good puns. They have a whole database for them. But anyway, the next act is Anne Doran's
Boomwhackers, played by Gus, Aidan, Winston, Ava, and some of the staff members.
Really quiet. Wow, you're that addicted, huh? Indeed. Our next act is All I Want for Christmas is Grew
by, uh, Maxwell, what is it? Maxwell Schmeiken.
I think it's schmarken. No, it's not. I'm pretty sure it's schmarken. No. Alright.
show so far. Yeah. Let's hear some noise. Yeah. Woo. Yeah. Woo. Can I give you a clap for the stage
crew and tech crew? Yeah. Give them a round of applause, everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Come on.
Come on. Yeah. Woo. Woo. Yeah. All right. All right. All right. So do you want to tell some jokes, Lucas,
or should I? I don't know. Did you know when the chicken crossed the road it died?
Why is that? Because it died. It got ran over by a car. Yeah, that'll happen. But anyway, hey folks,
what do you call an old snowman? A puddle. Ghost? Are we good ready? This is going on live television, right?
I think it's going on YouTube. Whoa. Okay. Wait, don't... Hold on. How many O's does it take to make
a beanbag chair? I don't know. How many? Six! Every stuff and men real tight. Um, one if we... Can we
count me? So that would probably like take like two if we counted me. I guess so. Yeah, but... Anyway.
Like three at least?
Do you want to introduce the actors? Oh, the next act is Harmony Mother Candy Cane by Umi, Morgan, Clara,
Emma, Cece, Zion, Shailen, and Laureln.
We need a spotlight. Hello? Yeah. Hey, folks, we're back. You didn't say anything. Yeah. Focus on us.
Yeah. Yeah. They got the spotlights on us, so focus. Not on those guys. Yeah. But I'd like to give a
thanks for some of my family that came here. I think Lucas would, too. Hey, Mom, raise your hand. Mom,
raise your hand. Yeah. Oh, I can't see. I need to use my flashlight. Yeah. You're not my mom.
Perfect line. Okay, whoever is Lucas's mom, clap your hand. Not you! You're not my mom! You're older,
you're younger than him, come on. You could never be my mom. Anyway, so I'd like to- And I wouldn't
want you to be my mom. But, ouch. Anyway, so I'd like to give thanks to my mom.
because she will be living after intermission. So I'd like to say, hey, mom, could you clap back there
so we know you're here? Hello. Hello. And also, I'd like to thank my aunt and uncle for coming here
from a little bit away. Oh, OK. And also dad, who found time through a lot of stuff. Let me introduce
the next act.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead, go ahead. The next act is Scream by Leon Jackson and John. That's
gonna be our last act, so bye!
Did you miss us? No, okay, that's fair. I got this sick fur vest from my sister, somewhere in there.
I got a vest, it's pretty, look at this. Look at that. Umi, you wanna start us off? Do you wanna do
some jokes while we're waiting, while we're stalling, desperately stalling? Well, first off, hey Gabe.
Oh no, yes.
How many bagels could a bagel chuck chuck if a bagel chuck could chuck bagels? You're doing this bit.
Okay, yeah. How many bagels could a bagel bagel? Well, if a bagel chuck could chuck bagels, a bagel
chuck could chuck as many bagels as a bagel chuck could chuck bagels. That... You do realize it's just
the wood chuck thing, but fitting into Umi's whole bagel obsession. I can't explain it.
Don't give them that serial killer grin. What are you doing? Just finish the thing. Come on. Though
I can't chuck as many bagels as a bagel chuck could chuck bagels. Okay. Because that's too much gluten
to chuck as many bagels as a bagel chuck could chuck bagels. Certainly.
Though if a bagel chuck could chuck bagels, I'd be pretty concerned. I'm going to humor it. Why would
you be concerned? Because a bagel chuck doesn't even exist. Yuki, you want to come up here and tell
a joke or two? I got one to start you off. What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
You know, a bird can fly, but a fly can't bird. Somebody laughed at that. I'm happy. You do one. Oh,
they're good. Never mind. Actually, you know what? You do a bit. We'll introduce them in a minute.
You know, Gabe. Okay. We got Baby Shark by the 5'6", because of course they're doing Baby Shark.
Baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo Baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo Baby shark Baby Vivian, doo,
doo, doo, doo, doo Baby Vivian, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo Baby Vivian Baby Norrie, doo, doo, doo, doo,
doo Baby Norrie, doo, doo, doo, doo Baby Norrie Baby Morgan, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo Baby Morgan, doo,
doo, doo, doo Baby Morgan, doo, doo, doo, doo
Baby Morgan. Baby Ari doo doo doo doo doo. Baby Ari doo doo doo doo doo. Baby Ari doo doo doo doo doo.
Baby Ari. Baby Shay doo doo doo doo doo. Baby Shay doo doo doo doo doo. Baby Shay. Baby Lucas doo doo
doo doo doo. Baby Lucas doo doo doo doo doo. Baby Lucas doo doo doo doo doo.
Baby Cyrus, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo Baby Cyrus, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo Baby Cyrus Baby Ollie, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Baby Ollie, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo Baby Ollie Baby Sage, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo Baby Sage, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Baby Sage, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo Baby Sage Baby Laura, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Oliver doo doo doo doo doo, baby, Oliver doo doo doo doo doo, baby, Oliver. Baby Bella doo doo doo doo
doo, baby, Bella doo doo doo doo doo, baby, Bella. Baby Rock doo doo doo doo doo, baby, Rock doo doo
doo doo doo, baby, Rock.
The last act made me feel like a baby, honestly. Hey, Ollie. Hey, Ollie. Alright, I was going to ask
you if you want to hear a joke. I'm just going to tell it.
Why do... As I was saying, why do bees have... Why do bees have sticky hair? Stop. It's too good. Because
they use honeycombs. Stop.
Uh, our next act is... Oh, yeah, yeah. Man. Stop. Uh, hey, Ollie. What? What's a computer's favorite
snack? Ollie? Like a chip? No.
Microchip. Stop. When are you going to stop drinking Dr. Pepper? I can't stall for this long also. Oopsies.
What do you mean oopsies?
So this is the last act before the intermission, and we've collected $400 for the Harmony family in
need. But I want to remind you, our goal is $1,000. So there's a box out here at this door, and there's
a bowl out here by the concession stand that the high school's... The high school's also trying to raise
money for their spring trip, as I said before.
but there's a bowl out there marked donations and the box out there so we can, whatever you can give
to help this family out would really, really be great. I also wanted to mention there's some people
that wanted me to say the people that parked in the middle of the parking lot, at the intermission,
you might want to move your car somewhere else onto the street. I think there's room on the street and
it's not raining, but some people are having a hard time getting their cars out. And lastly, I wanted
to thank BCAT who's streaming this
around the world and Dave Walters who comes every year for the last many years. The next act is Don't
Stop Believing by the Staff of Infection. Shout out to my balding father. Everyone give him a cheer
in three, two, one.
It's a small town girl living in a lonely world.
Smell of wine and cheap perfume for a smile they can share.
Well, well, well. Awesome stuff, Ben. Hello! How's it going, everybody? It's Shafar. He's back. Shafar!
I'm supposed to not be on stage anymore. He's supposed to not be on stage, but he's here. He broke in.
We couldn't stop him. Exactly. You cannot stop me. I will come back every year. Okay. All right. Yuki,
come on. Come on out.
Would you guys like to do the announcing? Yeah, let's do the announcing. All right. What a show. It's
been great so far. Those EC peers are adorable. Yeah, Bo and Ozzy can really belt it out. All right.
Enjoy the intermission. Go buy some refreshments from the high school. It's a fundraiser for our spring
trip to Al Capulco. See you back here in 15 minutes. Everything goes to the high school. Give us money, please.
be making can ASMR. Okay, let's do this. Stop booing. The next act is about a girl
with Dawes, Zander, Malachi, and by Dr. Skins. I don't know. Dr. Gray? Later.
easy friend I do with an A2 land I do think you fit this shoe I do think you have a clue take advantage
while hang me out to dry but I can't see you every night free
I'm standing in your line. I do hope you have the time. I do pick a number two. I do keep a date with
you. I take advantage while you hang me out to dry, but I can't see you every night.
I do with an A to lend I do think you fit this shoe I do think you have a clue I'll take advantage while
you hang me out to dry But I can't see you every night Oh I can't see you every night
I do I do I do
Hello there, I am back. Did you know that the first French fries weren't actually fried in French? They
were actually fried in Greece. Now this one's for Zevin. What did the pickle say to the other pickle?
Deal with it.
I have a really funny joke about procrastination. I'll tell it to you guys later. You know, I am really
pro at procrastination. Though some of the other MCs might not be that much pro at procrastination.
And all of
You know, my mom always tells me that carrots are good for your eyesight. I mean, have you ever seen
a rabbit with glasses?
Why was the bagel so good at golf? It always got a hole in one. Why was the bagel in the cage? It was
bred in captivity. Why was the bagel so lazy? It was slow to rise.
What do you do when you combine a donut with a bagel? You get a high bread? But anyway, the next act
is Old Churchyard, sung by Bella.
I so well know those paths need the soft greens for. Friends slumber in there that we want to regard.
We will trace out their names in the old churchyard. More not for them, for their tribe.
their sleep, though cold and hard, their pillows may be in the old churchyard. I know that it's true
when a friend's deep heart to breathe kind words to a broken heart. And I know that the joy of life is mine.
Follow us, friends, to the old churchyard. But were I at rest near your new tree, why would you weep,
my friend, for me? I'm so weary, so inward. Why would you retard the peace I seek in the old churchyard
before me?
go to that haven of rest where no tears ever flow. And I fear not my fate when it's time to depart when
we'll sail with the sun in the old churchyard. I rest in the hope that one bright day sunshine
Trumpets will sound in the hills near and far We'll wake up the dead in the old churchyard I rest in
the hope that one bright day
I'm not much of a stand-up comedian. Sage, I'm going to sit down real quick. Yeah, he's more of a sit-down
comedian, if you know what I mean. Yeah. Absurd. Yes. Exhibit A. But that was a fun act, what I'd say.
But also, I just learned during intermission that a lot of my grandparents and other family members
are watching over live stream. And I bet a bunch of
a bunch of yours are too. So I'm just going to give a shout out to all of them live stream. So hello.
Hello. Everybody say hello. Hello. That's right. Say bye. Bye. But OK. Our next act is Bleed by Jaxx
Tanier Guestner. Is that what I said? Give me some room. OK. I don't know. I don't know.
That was him.
Tell me how, how did you hide? I meant so easy. The ghost is so close around the room. It lets me know
that letting ghosts is not the same with you. Now every night I lay here in this bed we made for two.
But I'm sleeping alone while you're out there with somebody. And there's hope that he cares in the way
that I did you.
Abandon me here. I'm lost up in my head again. I'm caught inside myself. You promised that it wouldn't
end, but you left me.
It's still the same, tell me how. How did your heart run so easy? Don't give up just because it's hard.
Come back and heal me before I look scarred. You tell me we took this too far. As soon as I let down
my guard, when you needed it most, as you cried, I was soaked. It's been weeks since
Got your mom, dropped my clothes And she tried to console me Love comes and goes And it's not nothing
you owe me But you let me, you let me down
All I have in here are bagel jokes. I blame Umi. I'm not lying. Why are bagels religious? They're very
holy. What do you do if a bagel feels unwell? Spread it, it'll feel much butter. It's just full of these.
What do you get when you combine a donut and a bagel? A high bread.
Buckets of them. Yuki. Yeah. I don't know. Somebody yelled your name. Hey, Ellie. OK. Do you want to
do one real quick? Jokes. I love jokes. You know, biologists have been doing crazy things lately. I
read just last week they combined DNA from a cheetah and a crab. Right. What happened? Things went sideways
real fast. That one's good.
Why don't sharks bite clowns? I don't know. Why? They taste funny. You're awkward. Whoever said awkward,
I'm going to find it. We got the bagel incident because of course we do. It's on brand.
a bagel? Yep. Which one do you like? Actually, you can have that one. Ow, my tooth. This tastes funny.
My plan worked. Hey, what is that?
It's my pet, I don't know, I'm just a poor old bagel salesman. Well, it has to go to animal control.
Ugh. Anyways, back to the drawing board.
technical difficulty, there was a child in the stairwell, not my fault. Yeah, we know. Yeah, go ahead.
Hey, Gabe. That's me. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? I did tell that one, you know.
You did? Yeah, I did. Go ahead. Everybody loves it. Come on.
Okay, they're ready already. There's already people telling us to get off stage. We got a copycat by
Billie Eilish, sung by Ari and Riley. Come on. Don't be cautious
I'm your crime Push my button Anytime you got your finger on the trigger Bet your trigger finger's mine
Silver dollar
On that torches
Testing, testing. I have gummy bears now. Hey, can I have?
Our next act is reverse jokes with Cotton Weaver. Enjoy. Later. Oh my gosh. Hello, everyone. How are
you guys doing tonight? That's pretty good. Did you guys come out to see some comedy?
Yeah, so did I. I bought a pretty fancy ticket all the way down here from Thailand, and I came to see
the best comedy show in the world. You guys. So, does anyone have any jokes for me? Please raise your
hand if you do. Yeah. Yeah.
What? So funny. Ground beef. I already knew it. It's not funny. What? Okay. Oh wow. You hear that mom?
We'll have to jump a kid later.
Anyone else got any jokes? What you got? I can't see, like, the people right here, because the lamps,
like... Yeah, you. Why? Ah, shucks, man. What you got? Why? Who's there?
That's pretty good. I like that. Anyone else? Whoever that was. That wasn't the same voice. Who's there?
Who's there?
All right, thank you guys for this amazing comedy show. See y'all next year. Maybe. I don't know. Hey,
Ari. Hi. Does that act nice? Yeah. Kind of reminds me of a joke. Hey, Ari.
What do you call a dog that's a magician? What? A labra cadabador. That's a funny joke. What's your
favorite thing about Switzerland? I don't know. I think the flag is big plus.
The next song is Cinder's song by Gus. When I was a little girl my mother always told me one day a prince
will come, my love. But as I grew, I knew it was a princess who would hold me as I looked to the stars
for you, my love. Oh, my love, as the cannons were blazing, I looked to the stars for you, my love.
Oh, my love, as our cities you were raising, I looked to the stars
For you, my love. My world was left a-burning and my royal house a-bleeding. I looked to the stars.
For you, my love. My stepmother and sisters betrayed our world, conceding. I looked to the stars.
For you, my love. Oh, my love.
I saw you, my love. Oh, my love. My soul was then arisen. I looked through the stars to you, my love.
A godmother in white, she came and led me to your crimson. At last in my arms, my love. Together now
we long to hear the matrimonial hymn sung eternally bound.
To you, my love Oh, my love As the flames opened fire On our wedding day I ran to my love They give
me my love Inside of me ever higher I ran to the stars Without you, my love Years have passed yet still
I search I know they cannot hide you I searched through the stars
for you, my love. My ring will lead me to you and the life they have denied you. I search through the
stars for you, my love. Oh, my love, then we'll finally meet again.
Oh, my love. Oh, my love. Oh, my love. Your cinders will come for you, my love. Is this thing on? Hello.
Can you hear me there in the back?
Let's hear some noise. Thank you for your enthusiasm. But I have the gummy bears now. Look. I'm tired
of this. Anyway. What did the rabbit with the hairdryer say to the snowman? I don't know. What? Give
me the nose and no one gets hurt.
But that's a knee-slapper. Why did Santa retire? Gee, I don't know. Why? He lost his present sense of
purpose. Ready? Our next act is the whole... Right. By Gus and Aiden. Give them a hand, everyone!
Hey Guts, have you seen my copy of the greatest book of all time? How to Train Your Dragon, The Omnibus?
Yeah. Pretty sure it fell in the hole. What hole? Oh my God, what is that? A hole? Yeah, I can see that,
but where'd it come from? Well, I woke up this morning. There was a hole. Well, what are you gonna do
about it? Well, I put a rug over it, but...
It fell in the hole. Shouldn't we, like, call the police or something? Well, I did, but... Um... Where
are they? Well, they're in the hole. Where's your sister, Gus? Where is your sister? She's at work.
Oh. Where does she work? In the hole. God, how even deep is this thing?
favorite mug. Now it's in the hole. Gus, I mean, what could this thing even be? I mean, for all we know,
it could be an interdimensional wormhole or a gateway to hell or Gus, Gus, Gus. Hey, what's up? I got
some whatever this is. Dude, will you please take this seriously?
What was that? A hole person? Well, where'd it come from? Oh, right. The hole. Yeah. Dude, why are you
being so calm about this anyway? I'm more worried about the space octopus. Space octopus? Well, that one.
Okay, where'd the talent and the talent show go? It's in the hole. Take that. Ha ha! What even is this?
That's not mine. Your mother's from the hole! Okay, Yugi, how did the hammerhead shark do on his test?
He nailed it. There are a lot of sharks here. Who delivers presents to sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws,
because it's sharks. I'm doing my MC thing. Give me a second. Okay, we have Zombie by the
We've got again by Vivian Wicker.
Only end up wanting, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. What's everything not?
and I would also like to thank the stage, the tech crew, my crew, and everyone else who helped this
performance. Thank you. Guess what? It's me and Yuki again, and we got more jokes about sharks. Yay!
I heard that. Anyways, why don't sharks bite lawyers?
Professional courtesy. Because they're both awful. I don't know. I have a really funny joke
about procrastination. What is it? I'll tell it to you later. I don't... Okay. All right. So we've got
Zombie, played by Z-Region, which is the coolest name ever, by the way.
Does a flower ride a bike? I don't know. How? With its petals, duh. That's so funny. Yeah, I know, right?
So what do you call a dog's car? What? A Ferrari. That's a knee slapper.
but cannot hear. What? A cornfield. Okay. The next act is the third annual student solidarity skit.
All right. The weekly pizza toppings have been really popular, but we need some new ideas. Any thoughts?
OK, I've got one. Hear me out. Burger, pizza. That's just two different foods. OK, what about pizza,
pizza? I'm pretty sure they already sell that at Little Caesar's. Pizza, pizza. Oh, wait. Back when
Pizza Day first started, Student Solidarity made a list of possible topics. Hear ye, hear ye, members
of Scholar Solidarity. Scholar Solidarity? What was this made?
1976. Wow. I didn't know student solidarity had historical roots. I know, right? Anyway, here are some
of the suggestions. Let's see. Gruel. Ugh. Cockroaches. Ugh. Does it actually say that? Seeing as we
are so lucky to have a surplus of them, cockroaches are a very viable option.
Wow, things haven't really changed from the olden days. At least we have air conditioning now. Yeah,
and it only took five decades. And we're still waiting on the heating. Jelly eels, fish heads, are there
any good ones? Oh wait, this one's not that bad. Ginger. Oh no, that says gingers. I'm feeling very
targeted right now. How do you think I felt when they added olive pizza?
Okay, there has to be something edible on there. Let me see that. Oh, never mind. What is it? Pineapple.
You horrible humans. You made a whole bit about how, oh, there's nothing that could possibly be worse
than all these disgusting items that we put on the list. And then you go, pineapple? Really? You're
stuck with your traditional Italian pizzas and your Gutenberg printing presses. Get in the future. Get
in the now. There you go. Pineapples are actually good. Yeah, pineapples are cool. SpongeBob approves, OK? Yes.
Somebody's saying things. Yep. All right. You do bagel jokes. I don't know. Bagels are funny, apparently.
Well, how about instead of a bagel joke, instead of doing six, seven, we do eight, nine. No. No. I thought
I trusted you. I thought I trusted you. OK. OK. We got an app.
We really do have an act. We got Where Is My Mind by the Pixies, played by Clara Moore. Moore, Moore.
Hello, I am back. But with a guest. But anyway, how about we hear a joke from this wonderful person?
Never mind that. I ain't not. But seriously, seriously. Why are bagels so good for family reunions?
Because they are a wonderful activity for the whole family.
Anyway, this next act is maybe this time from a song by Yuki.
Maybe this time he'll stay. Maybe this time for the first time love won't hurry.
Thank you. That was a great act, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. You bet. OK, so the next joke is about a meme
that's been going on around here in school. Oh. Oh, no. Pierce, Riley, what's six plus seven? Oh.
Beats me. Six, seven.
Do you guys have any jokes? Of course. What are they? What did the one wall say to the other? What?
I don't know. What's a reptile's favorite show? I don't know. What? The Lizard of Oz. Okay, the next stack.
is Vynowski's piano concerto, played by Alina. I don't know if I said that right.
how good of a brand Haribo was. Tell me about it. I still want those gummy bears, you know. Oh, yeah.
Oh, well. Well, this is my last, this is the last act, so I'm going to put up my kind of funny ones.
My actually funny ones. Okay. What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
I don't know. St. Nicholas. Ain't that a knee slapper, folks? Let me hear some chuckles. Come on.
There we go. That's the spirit. Okay. That's the spirit. All right. Let's see. Why did the snowman leave
the party early? I don't know.
Because he felt emotionally thawed out. I mean, right? I mean, you would, too, if it was a party full
of peers, I guess. But it looks like Brock has something to say, so we'll be right back after these
messages. So they're going to introduce the next act here in a second. I wanted you to know that thanks
to all of you and the people that are here for the first
before the intermission for the first half of the show, that we actually raised over $1,300 for that
Harmony family. And they still have a GoFundMe campaign. Anything you can do for them on your way out
or telling other people about it. I think many people, families have received their GoFundMe. If you
want to take a copy of the QR code and share it with other people, they can use the help.
So again, thank you. And in the Harmony tradition after this act, any of you can stick around and help
put chairs away. We have a dance here that goes on Wednesday night. We want to get the chairs out of
here, so it's ready to go for the dance. So thank you. Have a safe drive home. Hey, folks. We're back.
And my assistant, or am I his assistant, Ollie, with some jokes. Take it away, Ollie. OK.
Rock, how do you feel about giving me something I need for gummy bears? Huh? Hello? Wait, what? I need
gummy bears. You, you, you, you spent them all over the yard. I don't have any. Okay, I don't have any
gummy bears. You ate all of them. I just have one handful. That singular handful, that was such a glorious
moment in my life.
Why do reindeers fly? I don't know. Why? Because it's faster than walking. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually
never tried. Is it faster than walking? Well, I guess I'm a plane, but that has jets. Does Santa's sleigh
have jets? What a question to ask. OK. How do you get to the North Pole? Gee, I don't know. You put
a stick and point it north, I guess.
You start at the South Pole and head anywhere. OK, that's fair. But what if you start on the South Pole
and head to the South Pole? You're already in the South Pole. I know, right? Exactly. I mean, right?
Come on. You're out of gummy bears.
Let's see here. Why did the... So two scientists walk into a bar and the first one says,
I love some H2O please. Oh yeah? And then the second one says, I love some H2O too. Oh yeah? And then,
when they get their drinks, and the two scientists drink, the second one falls down dead. Do you know
why? I feel like the nerds out there would know. The nerds out there would know. Science. You know?
Yeah. So, thank you very much. Are we ready? Later folks. So, the next act is...
We'll meet again with Sophia and Alex. Did I get that right? Whoa! Yeah! Woo! Yeah! See ya, folks! Woo!
Sorry, everyone. Her amp wasn't working, so. We'll meet again.
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day. Keep smiling through just like you always do. And the blue
skies, just the gray skies,
The folks that I know Tell them I won't be long
Don't know
this thing on. Yes. Hey, Gabe. Don't leave yet. Don't leave yet. Hey, we're doing a bit. We're doing
a bit. Sit down. Sit down. Ollie, quick. Now. Come on. We're leaving. Hey, Gabe.
Where do Polbers keep their money? Where? That's no banks. Okay, okay, we're doing the outro. Okay,
we're doing the outro. That was our show. We hope you enjoyed ourselves. Thank you again to all of our
sponsors, including John Bethel Title Company, Inkwell Bakery, Bilcy Brown and Associates Southern Indiana
Pediatric Dentistry,
Baker's Family Dentistry, and a very special thank you to Brightside Cafe and the Commercial Circus.
Have a great night, a great holiday season, and please put away your chairs. Thank you and good night!
Muahahaha!