- Hello, everyone. Welcome to MCPL Hot Ones, the show where we have hot sauces and even hotter questions.
- Yeah, come on in. Today's guest is Adult Services Librarian Jack Kowaleski. We are going to be going
- through 10 hot sauces, each one getting progressively hotter as we go, while asking some questions that
- were submitted by all you lovely folks. So, Jack, how you feeling?
- I feel amazing. I'm really ready to, to go. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Let's get into it. Okay. So there's
- Jack's face in case seeing him live wasn't quite enough when I had long hair. Yeah. All right. So the
- first sauce is just hot ones classic with a Scoville level, which is like spiciness degree of 1800.
- So let's dig into that one and see how it goes. Okay.
- Have people been eating the whole thing? Up to you. Okay. I will say you do have some pretty big pieces
- over there. So you might want to pace yourself. Okay. Can you do 10 pushups and will you do them right now?
- I think I can struggle through them. Be my guest. Okay. Are we gonna count along? One. Two. Three. Four.
- Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Two more. Nine. You got this.
- Okay. Amazing. Okay. So the answer is no, but that's okay. They didn't say, could you do them well or
- successfully? You just did them. So the answer is yes. Yes. Delightful. Thank you for whoever wrote
- that. Yeah. Okay. Moving forward. How was the spice level on that one? How do you feel? That one I feel
- like was not noticeable. Yeah. Not, not noticeably spicy, honestly. Right.
- But now my blood is pumping and I'm ready. You know, I am curious to know scientifically, if there are
- any scientists out there who have the answer to this, please let me know. Does exercising immediately
- before or after consuming hot sauce and the increased blood circulation, I wonder if that makes your
- taste buds more susceptible to spice? Or if it helps you handle it? That is a good question for the
- scientists. For the scientists. Yes. Yes. We will have to find out. There's something going on. Yes.
- We'll see.
- Correlation causation all those wonderful things. Okay. So the next sauce that we have is ghost pepper
- pear flavor Not to build it up too much, but I do remember really enjoying this one. Okay ghost pepper
- pear ghost pepper pear. What an interesting collaboration. Mm-hmm. I Love a fruity hot sauce. I gotta
- say Okay, I don't know about that not you're not a fan I
- Is it the fruitiness? There's something weird about it. Okay. I also like, I have too many drinks. No,
- you don't. You need at least minimum of three. I have like, there's just a lot of, there's a lot of
- ooh. What just happened? I taste the habanero. There's a lot happening with like, this is chocolate
- and then this is like, like an herbal, like,
- like lemon balm kind of tea, and then this is just water, but it's a lot. There's a lot happening sense-wise.
- It's a gastronomic experience over there. Yes. OK. Do you have an embarrassing hobby? If so, elaborate.
- Smiley face. Do I have an embarrassing hobby? I don't think so. I think my, I think,
- I wouldn't call it embarrassing, but the nerdiest thing that I do is that I collect CDs and I have a
- very particular setup for what goes in what thing. So I have different players that are based on the
- year that a CD came out. So I have one crappy boom box that plays
- 90s and early 2000 CDs and it's just there's something about like the way that they sound on that Player
- that's like right, you know, yeah Like it's not supposed to sound good. It's supposed to sound like
- it sounded Yeah, you know, so I think I think just like that's probably the not embarrassing but just
- like nerdy No, but I get that though because if it was like
- If the format that the music is on was produced at a certain time, then it obviously goes best with
- the music player that was made in the same time. Because it's like the whole vibe. It's how it was intended
- to be listened to. Yeah, it's not always supposed to sound as good as it can sound. Because if music
- is also recorded in a way that's not high fidelity, then playing it back in high fidelity is going to
- reveal that it's... It reveals the limitations of the...
- recording. So you should just play it on whatever it was meant to be played on, I guess. On the flip
- side, I think you could also take music that was from a very, very different time and remaster the life
- out of it and see just how terrible it becomes or how different it becomes. Yeah, that could
- be an experiment, too. Yep. On the topic of science, because this has gone in a very scientific direction.
- We love science. We are loving science up in here today. Yes.
- What is the scientific name of a giant African millipede? This question was asked by Sophia. Did they
- write the real name on it? That they did. Okay. Because I don't know. I wouldn't know that. Do you want
- to hazard a guess? What was the thing? Giant millipede? Giant African millipede. Giant African millipede.
- No, I can't. I can't guess something.
- Do you want to try to struggle through this, or would you just like me to tell you? Whatever you prefer.
- Okay, great. It is the Arches Spiro streptus gigas. Okay. Possibly the Arches Spiro streptus.
- I don't know. See, I couldn't even guess something that would sound correct. No, and the only like context
- I have for the word gigas is it's used to describe a really big book that I saw in Sweden, so. Okay.
- But anyhow,
- While we move on to the next question, well the next question is, what's your funniest band camp story?
- And also, can you explain what is happening in these various travel pictures? Sure, yeah. My funniest
- band camp story, that's actually such a good question. Because I spent so many hours in band camp.
- I think, actually one time I got like,
- I have a huge scar on my knee because one time there was a lot of hopping into people's cars and driving
- to wherever we could drive in the break time that we had between practicing. So we would just see how
- many people we could fit in somebody's car, which is not something you should do, but it's a thing that
- we did a lot. And I remember it pouring rain, and I got this drink from the gas station. This is not
- the most embarrassing story.
- What was the question? What has your funniest been? This one isn't even that's funny, but I can't think
- of anything else, so I'm just going to tell you. We went to the gas station, and I got one of those
- fountain drinks. And I got out of the backseat of a car, and I tripped out of the car. And I held up
- the cup, and it just perfectly, the bottom of the cup perfectly came off. So I just watched all the
- drink come out of it. And then I had this huge cut on my knee, and I still have a scar on my knee.
- That's brutal. That's brutal. That is also something that I feel like you watch happen in slow motion
- as it's occurring to you. Yeah, yeah. And it's just such a bummer because I wanted that drink.
- So many losses. Yeah. And I'm bleeding. And I'm like, that's not even the worst part of it. It's just
- that I don't have the drink anymore. You don't even have the treat to get through the injury.
- OK, so you traveled to band camp and also many other places. Yeah. OK, so these are like two very different
- times because the first photo I'm like really happy in. And then this one is like at the very end of
- like when I was moving away. And so I like am really unhappy in that one. But this one, like my buddy
- had like friends that had a boat. And so we were like fishing.
- And well, I wasn't fishing. I mean, clearly, I'm not fishing. I'm wearing a coat over my coat that I
- had to borrow. And then I also am wrapped in this scarf because it was so cold. And the people that
- we were with had crab pots. So you would go around the bay or whatever. And there would be places where
- you would have the coordinates of where your pot is. And you would put bait in it or whatever. And then
- a week later, you'd come back and pull it up. And there'd be crab in it.
- Um, and so we were doing that and, um, that day was cool too, because, um, on our way back, there's
- like a big, like channel of traffic in the, in the water. So like a bunch of boats are kind of going
- back and, um, we saw like whales, there were like a bunch of whales, like around the boat, like killer
- whales and like just beautiful, like, you know, they were like swimming with the boat because the channel
- has created this like stream. Are we talking like,
- a wee little sailboat situation? Are we talking like a yacht? Like what size is this boat? It's like
- not little, but not big either. It's got a motor. I mean, it's like, it's got a motor in like a canopy,
- but like probably it didn't really have a lot of seating. It was like, um, like the front of it had
- some seats, but, um, kind of like big enough for you to stand up in and move around a little bit, like
- put some, put some fishing rods and stuff and some, uh, gear.
- And I was just there for the ride. You were just along for the journey. I was like, I just want some
- fish and I want some fried rice at the end and whatever. And I'm just there for the adventure. And then
- this is a spot that I would come to when I was just feeling sad. And I would just need to sit on a rock
- or whatever and just look at the islands or whatever. But it's funny because even when you're sad in Alaska,
- It's still so beautiful that it's almost like you can't, like it almost is like disrespectful to be,
- to be like depressed in Alaska. You know what I mean? That's going to be the new tagline for those like
- visit Alaska commercials. So if you're watching TV and it's like, it's disrespectful to be sad here,
- you know where it came from. Exactly. Yeah. Amazing. So yeah, it's very like night and day.
- Sure. For me, when I see those. It's literally the two theater masks, like smiling, frowning. Yes. But
- the Alaskan version. Yeah, but I was still trying to like, obviously, I'm taking a selfie, so I'm trying
- to make it seem like I'm really happy. I'll be posting it on Instagram later or whatever. But on the
- inside, it's like I'm ready to be out of here. I'm just literally get me on a plane out of here. Fair.
- All right, now that we've had a story break, you ready for sauce number three? Yeah.
- Delightful. So this is Neil's Real Deal Smoked Onion Hot Sauce. It's the really dark one. Don't let
- the color scare you. Oh, okay. This is three, right? Yes. Okay. My chicken is very room temperature.
- How's yours? It's cold. Yeah. So this one, if I'm not mistaken, is a solid jump in Scoville levels from
- the first two.
- I'm curious to know how it feels for you. Kind of tastes like barbecue sauce, which is good. Yeah. It
- definitely lives up to the name. It doesn't feel like that much spicier. It feels about the same as
- two. I think telling my story, it kind of like, I forgot. I forgot that we were doing this for a second.
- And I was like, oh, I got
- Like I think if we had done it right back to back, I'd be like, Oh, this is hot. But I think my mouth
- had time to like kind of cool off a little bit. This is why we keep everyone talking. Uh, speaking of,
- Oh my God. Okay. These next two questions, doctors or dentists explain. I'm going to say dentists because
- Why would I say dentist? Hmm. Doctors or dentists? I think I can relate to a dentist's kind of vibe.
- Like they're just like, they're like kind of freaks. They're kind of like freaks about like teeth freaks.
- You know, they're kind of just like, they're kind of just like, let me in there. Like in a way that's
- like kind of like,
- Like, let's look at the top 36th tooth or whatever. And you're like, what? They have this diagram in
- their head for what they want to see. And you're just like, whoa, that's intense. And I can kind of
- relate to that. Sure.
- And they also have their own language. I remember the last time I went to the dentist, they were like
- 26 buckle or whatever, which I think refers to whether it's on your top jaw or your lower jaw.
- But I was like, yeah, my teeth have buckles. That's, mm-hmm. They have a shorthand. Yeah. They have
- so many instruments. Yes. It's very technical. Mm-hmm. It's sort of weird. It's just sort of weird in
- there. I don't know. Mm-hmm. Very fair. So I would say dentist. I'm with you. My answer would also be
- dentist, but I love your justification.
- And then for the second question, pie? Yes. I like pie. I would never choose a pie if I was at a restaurant.
- I would never choose a pie. I'd probably choose a cake. Or what would I choose? You know what I love,
- though? Lemon meringue pie. I would choose lemon meringue pie over just about anything. And I think
- it's maybe the best dessert
- Maybe. I don't know if I am standing by that. I think I am for the time being. I think lemon meringue
- pie is the best dessert. And so yes, I would say pie. OK. All right. So to answer the question, pie.
- Pie. Yeah. Pie period instead of pie question mark. Yeah. Heard. Let's see. Do we have a sauce or a
- story next? Sauce. OK. This one, I think, is almost double the Scoville level. It goes to $36,000. OK.
- I'm going to eat this one in two.
- I think that I gave you a really big one, I'm sorry. I'm kind of big. So let's just get in there. Mm-hmm.
- So while we... It's good. Yeah, right, isn't it delicious? Yeah. It tastes like a salsa verde. Mm-hmm.
- Okay, if you could rename one animal, starting to feel it, what animal would it be?
- And what new name would you give it? Well, it's a big one. I know. You can also always pass. I think
- that I'm thinking of like, what are really good animal names? Like, I think giraffe is a good animal
- name. And I think,
- I think hippopotamus is a good animal name. Hippopotamus looks like a hippopotamus. Yeah. And I think
- zebra is a good animal name. Like these are names that like, they're not like other things. Um, well
- I think of like a bad animal name. I'm thinking about like ground hog. Sure. Like why is he a hog?
- You know, like does that make sense? Why is he a hog? Why is he a hog? Do we have any guesses? Why is he a hog?
- Oh, sure, yeah. They're like hogging the ground by taking up the ground. That's actually really funny.
- Yeah. They make it so much harder for all the other animals who live in the ground. They just take it
- all up. They're a ground hog. They're hogging the ground. They hog the ground. OK, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That's actually, that's perfect. So I was going to say I would rename the ground hog, but now I take
- it back. I won't. So I don't know. I don't know.
- I guess something that, I don't know. I can't even think of what other animals are right now. Like,
- yeah. On the topic of groundhogs, I think I would respectfully rename Punxsutawney Phil, just because
- have you ever tried to spell Punxsutawney? No. I couldn't. You can't do it. I couldn't, and I won the
- spelling bee in fifth grade. And I couldn't do it. Not with the word Punxsutawney? No. No. That would
- have made kids cry, and kids did cry.
- I made them cry. No, I'm just kidding. Well, I mean. Potentially. Potentially. Yeah. Jury's still out.
- With my amazing spelling skills. They were just so jealous. Yeah. Well, speaking of school adventures,
- I'm going to make the world's largest leap here and be like, look, school, marching band, and also music.
- Or you add in the doors and the doors and Lady Gaga. Were you at a Lady Gaga concert? What's happening?
- Well, this is my first. This is my like my first weekend at college, I think. Cute. And this is just
- like on the quad at Collins. So that's not just like that's not actually a music event. That's just
- no, that's just me going for it. And so like.
- Like, I don't think anybody else is really dancing. Well, that guy is, the guy with the arm. But everybody
- else is just like, literally just like, they're just standing around. And yeah, I loved that Lady Gaga
- shirt. It's giving main character. It was 2011, so it was like, you know, she was big. Yeah. And she's
- come back recently. Oh, yeah. In a big way. In a big way, yeah. Good for her. Amazing. We love to see
- it. And I have a little headband on.
- Yeah, right. A little sparkly headband and I have like little sparkly makeup on my cheeks. Well, that's
- why I thought it was like a music festival or something. Yeah, it looks like. Because glitter. Glitter
- and Gaga, you know? I wish it had been. Right. And also marching band. Marching band, yeah. Could you
- please run us through a list of all the instruments you played or instruments and bands you were in?
- Because I remember there was quite a strong number. Well, I played the bass clarinet mostly, but I played
- the regular clarinet, too.
- We did like a symphony orchestra, not symphony, not a symphony. A symphony has like, symphony is big.
- A symphony is like, this wasn't that. It was like 60 people. So we had an orchestra, whatever that means.
- And then we had a jazz band, but the jazz band only had like eight people. And I'm playing bass clarinet
- in the jazz band, but I'm playing like a low brass part. And then the other low brass parts are played by like,
- a French horn and like something else that's not like a low brass instrument. So like everything just
- sounded kind of weird. And then we also had marching band, obviously. And then we had like a sports
- band, but it was all of us. We just did that like no matter what. So we would go to the basketball games
- and play like in a band there.
- And the thing about that is that we would play a game where we would all switch instruments during the
- game. And we would try to play each other's instruments and see if our band director would notice. That
- was the game that we would play. But it was fun, too. It was also like, can I play the French horn?
- And I got pretty good at it. Did the band director notice? Yeah.
- Nah, bummer. But actually, actually sometimes no, because it was so loud and we were already so bad
- that like, that like, it probably just sounded normal. Sure. Like it was probably just, you know. It's
- just like, ah, business as usual. This is what they always sound like. Like they still can't play the,
- the school song or whatever, you know? Yeah. Okay. So, okay. I want to ask this one. Uh, what if we,
- uh, we're going to go to the next sauce and then I'm going to ask you,
- What if we were all chairs? I love that question. Okay. What number are we on? Five? We're on five.
- Let's munch on some apple caraway hot sauce while you ponder what if we were all chairs? Love it. They
- haven't been that hot.
- Just wait. OK. Just wait. I said the same thing. OK. It's like the fool's utterance or whatever. What
- if we were all chairs? I mean, I feel like if it were me asking this question, I would be like, if you
- were a chair, what kind of chair would you be? Sure. Do you think about if we were all chairs, what
- kind of chair would you be?
- I'm going to be so real with you. I haven't really thought that deeply about it because I can't wrap
- my head around it, but I am, I am along for the ride. Cause I'm like, I'm like thinking about like what
- kind of, I'm thinking about which kind of chair I would be. And I would be like one of those chairs
- that's like, um, like, like, you know, those kinds of chairs that have like, they're like curved down
- and then they have like the kind of like, like the, the, the seat element is kind of like suspended
- in the air.
- It's like one of those almost like acrylic chairs. Yeah, like very not Art Deco, not Art Nouveau. What's
- the like abstract? Yeah, kind of like modern chair. Yeah, and it's kind of like it doesn't like like
- it kind of like when you sit down in it, it kind of like it kind of moves down a little bit like that.
- It kind of like looks like it's sort of floating, but it's not bouncy. It is a little bouncy, but not like
- Like, that's not the point. It's just that's what happens because of how it's made. If you were looking
- at it from the side, is it one that would almost look like a D or a B? Yes. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking.
- See? Yeah, yeah. I get you. So I think if we were chairs, that's the kind of chair I would be. I can't
- think of one other person who would have that answer. So I support it. And then, courtesy of Jason,
- our wonderful security guard,
- Would you rather eat warm yogurt or cold beets? Cold beets, for sure. Oh, OK. Cold beets, yeah.
- Cold beets, I mean, that's. Cold beets. Cold beets, that's like a thing. That's like, well, I mean,
- OK, so you'd have to, not raw beets, you have to boil the beets first. Sure. You have to cook them.
- But then, if they were cold, that would be great. OK. Yeah. And I watch a lot of Top Chef.
- And they did this thing on Top Chef where somebody made a beet gummy thing. It was like they took the
- beet juice and then they made a gummy out of it. And that was cold. So, cold beets. Beets can be cold.
- Beets can be cold. I would eat a beet gummy, I gotta say. Yeah. I hate beets, but I would eat a beet
- juice gummy. That sounds fancy. Yeah. All right.
- Next, we have the Jerk and Scotch Bonnet hot sauce, which is a... This is six. Yeah. Scoville level
- of... This one's gonna be hot. Yeah. I remember it picking up right around here. Because Jerk and Scotch
- Bonnet are both like... I don't know. That's a lot, I think. They're gonna start coming for you, I'm
- telling you. I've been having too easy of a time, I think. And I'm kind of ready for it to like... Be
- a little harder.
- We can pick up the pace too. Maybe. I'm also talking a lot, so. Okay. So while that one builds, please
- justify the existence of the potato. Where do I even begin? I know. I love a potato. It's almost like
- the question is sort of like, I don't know, like,
- Why would you need to justify it? Truly. It can be so many things. It's a beautiful food. Who out here
- is questioning the existence of the potato? That's what I want to know. We have some potato heads in
- the audience, I think. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can fry them. You can boil them. Oh, are we about to? Are
- you going to do the thing from? No. What thing?
- When I asked the teen staff this question, because I thought it was funny, I was like, hey, can you
- justify this? Oh, boil and mash them, stick them in a stew. Every single one of them was like, boil
- and mash them, stick them in a stew, because we're nerds. No, totally. And I thought as soon as you
- were like, you can mash them, I was like, oh my god, is it about to happen? No, I wasn't going there,
- but yes. And so that's a great iconic line that really illustrates how versatile the potato is.
- I can't think of a potato I don't like. That would be... Man. You know? I do know. I'm like getting
- emotional about it. I love potatoes. Just pour one out for the humble potato. There's this thing that
- they do on Top Chef, okay? Where they like, they slice them really... So I can't remember what it's
- called. It's like a special French thing. And they like slice them really thin and then they like put
- them in like a little square.
- like really thin, really thin and it's like a hundred layers of potato and they're in like a little
- like thing and it's beautiful and you like, and it's like crispy on the outside and like soft in the
- middle but it's all the layers too. You can taste all the layers. And I dream about that. I've never
- had one. If I ever go to France, that's like, I need that. I forget what it's called though. It's a
- special French thing. It is a special French thing and I know exactly. This one is hot. It builds, see
- they come for you. It's building.
- I do know exactly what you're talking about. It is a special French potato. I have made it.
- I could not, for the life of me, come up with the name, but I... You've made it? Yeah, in my days as
- a chef, yes. You were a chef? I didn't know that you didn't know that, yeah. No, I don't know anything.
- Well, this isn't my hot ones. This is yours, so we can come back to that one later. Okay, wait. Okay.
- We have to talk about that. Okay. Okay. Oh, I wanted to ask this one. Courtesy of Sprout.
- Please come up with a ship name for their RPG. I don't have any additional information. It is what should
- we name our ship in our RPG? Like a vessel? I don't know. Or like two people who are in love? I think
- it could go either way, really. Yeah. I think whatever you come up with, whether it's a vessel or for
- like a romance thing, I think the name could work. I think the ship name should be like
- This is stupid. I was just like, lovers journey. And I was like, lovers journey could be a ship, like
- on the water. Yeah, it could be. I think so. Because I think, but that's not that interesting, but that's
- what came to my head. And I think because I'm of the Brad Jelena generation, I was like, you can always
- shorten it to Lojo. Yeah, you could. Lojo. Yeah, there you go.
- Hashtag Lojo, there you go. Yeah. OK, sauce number question mark, next one. Oh, no, we've got more of
- these. OK, do you want to eat the next sauce, and then we'll show the thing after we tell? Yeah. Sure.
- We're going out of order. Sorry, folks. We're doing seven? Yes. OK. Which one is seven? Hold on. Yeah,
- what is seven? Ninja napalm. I'm starting to get burps. I told you. The thing that I was worried the
- most about is,
- like snot happening. And then like, and then like, um, like, I don't know, just like sounds and stuff,
- you know? There's still time. I know. Don't worry. Oh, I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't
- like that. I'm just kidding.
- I'm only eating half of that. I'm not eating the whole thing. That's fair. I don't like that.
- I don't either. Do you like that? I can't say I do. It's like, it's like really, um, it's so acidic.
- It's like, Oh no. It's like sour. It's like sour. Yeah. What was it? What? Ninja napalm. And does it
- say what's in it? Like what's the main flavor? No.
- No, it's just a chili pepper and he's got a sword. It's just the pepper ninja. That's not good. No.
- It's not good when the chili pepper has a sword. No. But honestly, I feel like for the most sour,
- spicy one, a chili pepper with a sword makes the most sense. I don't like that. No. OK. Oh, I love this
- question. Who is the best Muppet and why? Gonzo. Is he a Muppet? Of course he's a Muppet. OK. Yes. Gonzo. Wait.
- Let me think through. He's in A Muppet's Christmas Carol. He plays the narrator guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- But isn't there another group of, oh, OK, sometimes I get the Sesame Street characters. OK, this one's
- hot, dude. OK, sometimes I get the Sesame Street characters because is there a Gonzo-esque Sesame Street
- character? There's, yes. Sesame Street characters are Muppets. OK, great. Great. OK.
- Snuffle up, I guess. I don't know what I'm thinking of anymore. Could be Grover. That is a good one.
- I think I am. Is Grover Sesame Street? Yeah, they are both blue. Yeah. And they're both blue. OK. Anyway,
- Gonzo is the one that I like the most because he's deep. He is always in a dark night of the soul kind
- of moment. He's relatable.
- You know, he's on a journey. He's on a soul journey. You know what I mean? Yes, I do. And see, I like
- that answer because most people like Gonzo because he's a silly, goofy little guy that no one really
- understands. I don't think he is. I don't think he is as silly as you think he is. No? But maybe I don't
- know. I actually don't know. Do you think it's like a mask? Maybe, yes. It's a defense mechanism? I
- think that I haven't seen enough Muppets things to know what all their vibe is.
- What about Bert and Ernie? What are they? Is that Sesame Street? That's Sesame Street. But they are
- all Henson. They are all Jim Henson. And so they're all Muppets. So they count. So they all count. So
- I can say that. I don't know. I would say Gonzo. Sure. What's like the, OK, is there like an Eeyore
- equivalent of, I think I'm overthinking it. I think it's Gonzo. OK. And I like Oscar the Grouch, too.
- I was going to say I think that's the Eeyore equivalent, because I don't know of any other like sad
- Muppets. So now that I know that he's a Muppet,
- I can say that too. Yes, you can. And he's like, he's just a real dude, you know. He is a real dude.
- He tells it like it is. Yeah, and he flies out of cannons on the regular and dates a chicken. So really,
- you can't get more relatable than that. Oscar the Grouch does? Oh, I thought you meant Gonzo. Oh, I
- don't know anything. Well, Oscar's best friend is a worm, so. Yeah, yeah. Do with that one. Gonzo flies
- out of the cannons. That he does, yes. Maybe I don't know anything about Gonzo.
- Maybe I just made up a whole archetype for it, so it's not true. I don't know, anyway. Well, speaking
- of being on a soul's journey, could you please elaborate on your favorite and least favorite tarot cards?
- Good question. My favorite and my least favorite. Well, I mean, honestly, if we're going to go there,
- favorite and least favorite is sort of like what
- part of the life cycle are you favoring? There can't really be a favorite and a least favorite because
- we're all part of one tapestry of life. Are you saying it kind of like... All the tarot cards are just
- parts of existence distilled into symbols and archetypes. So you can't really
- say that one is your favorite and one is your least favorite. But if you would say artistically, some
- of them have more interesting imagery, I think. That's fair. I think the death card is cool.
- I like her. So maybe that would be my favorite. And then least favorite, I don't even know what I'm
- saying. Least favorite, I would say, is like, hey,
- What's the one that's like, um, there's like a couple of boring ones. Yeah. Um, what's the one that's
- like, that's like the like religious guy. The hierophant? Yeah, that one because I just like, I cannot
- wrap my head around the like, the symbol of it, the symbolism of it. I think that one. I'm not a big
- tarot guy, but I would say that one just cause it's boring. That's fair.
- That's so fair. That one took me the longest time to really like get, but when I stopped thinking of
- it as like, this is a religious dude and more like this is the figure who represents like tradition
- and ritual and like your relationship to that, that was when it kind of started to sink in. But it's
- all an individual journey. Yeah. I like the question. Yeah, it is a good question. Yeah. Was there anything
- on this slide that you wanted to tell us about while we dig into sauce number
- Not that one. Nope. Hold on. Well, we dig into Da Bomb. Oh, that's the bad one. It is. That's the bad
- one. OK. So do you want to dig into this one and then go back and tell us some stories? Yeah, sure.
- Amazing. Let's do that. While you're sweating. This one, I think I'm just going to eat half again. Fair.
- Or should I eat more? I don't know. Let's just see what happens. Challenge by choice, my friend.
- I hate that. Yeah. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It tastes so bad, dude. I'm so happy you're here. Thanks.
- No. Oh, no. It tastes so bad. It tastes so bad. It tastes really bad, Ellie. Oh, brother, I know.
- I was gonna put the whole thing in. Oh my. It tastes, oh no, it tastes so bad. It tastes like, did you
- eat it too? Yeah, I'm in it with you brother. I think I have to leave. Before the last dab?
- I thought this was gonna be fun. And we were having such a good time. I think, okay, that is poison.
- That is poisonous. It's miserable. Has the spice hit yet? Yes. What do you even mean? What do you mean
- has it hit?
- Cause I remember for me, like the first time I had it, I like could taste it. And then after I swallowed
- it, all of a sudden it was just like this rush. Remember when you said it was easy? Yeah, it was really
- easy. They were all not spicy. And then that one is like poison.
- I'm not having fun anymore. Oh, good thing you got two more. Oh, my god. It's for the kids, Jack. It's
- for the kids. Yes. This was such a bad idea. This is like, I didn't know. Oh, no. OK. OK, I need something
- to distract me from this. OK, great. Where did we leave off? All right, ooh. How do you feel about the
- ending of Lost? That's such a good question.
- much time do we have do you have any napkins oh that's what I forgot I knew there was something on the
- list my tears I can give you the old questions my tears are spicy like my the the tears are like burning
- my face okay the ending of
- So is anybody going to watch Lost or hasn't watched it? Me. No spoilers. No spoilers? I'm going to spoil
- it. I'm going to spoil it. It's been on for a long time. Or it's been out for a long time. Statute of
- limitations. Yeah. So at the end of Lost, it's sort of like, so they crash on the island, right? And
- then in the last season, the whole structure of the show is that when they have the drama on the island,
- and then they flash back to before the island,
- And then in the last season, they're flashing to something. They're flashing to another set of stories
- that are in an alternate timeline. And so you're like, what is this thing that's happening? Because
- a lot of these people have died already on the show. And so at the end of it, they have this moment
- where it gets spiritual, and it's this idea that
- the people on the island have created another space through their friendships where they can exist together
- outside of the timeline of the show. So sort of like a heaven, but it's not really heaven, it's not
- Christian in that way, but it's sort of this spiritual place. They literally gather in a church, but
- it's not a religious experience. And so they do that sort of in place of
- wrapping up a lot of the stories on the show, or not wrapping up the stories. They don't answer all
- of the questions that you have, like why are there polar bears on the island, although they do answer
- that. But the mysteries of the show aren't all wrapped up, and they do this version of it instead of
- doing that. Because the whole point of the show is that the relationships that happen on the island
- mean something, or that these
- these sort of like friendships and love relationships that we're in, like they matter. And so a lot
- of people thought like, I don't like the ending because they didn't tell me like what the answer to
- my most burning question is. And instead we get this sort of like spiritual allegory moment, which for
- me is very like good because it's like, you know,
- the character driven element of that show is like the point of the show. And I think that they highlighted
- that really well. And so I love the ending of Lost. Whereas like a lot of people felt like it was a
- cop out. That's sort of my that's my take. I didn't really need to explain it all that I just did.
- But like, doing that did give me some some relief from my
- from my burning mouth. I was going to say, you were filibustering. Yeah, I was filibustering a little
- bit. And I feel like filibustering is the way to get through the, I still feel bad, but I feel good
- because I get to talk about Lost, and no one ever asks me about it. So anyway, I love the ending of
- Lost. I think it's great. Wonderful. Now that you've filibustered your way to a place of peace, are
- you ready to have that be wrecked with a hint, a hint, a hint? Oh, also, hold on really quick. A moment.
- A moment for the hair, maybe, please. Thank you so much. That's my prom picture. And then this is, I
- dyed my hair orange in high school. And I would like flat iron it every morning with like hairspray.
- I just, I simply couldn't skip past that. And it's also orange in that photo. It's just black and white,
- so you can't see it. Just for the record. For the record. We all know now. Okay. What are we breaking
- our soul with? That's the one we just did that was poison.
- The Arbol Scorpion, Scoville level, 820,000. What? I don't want to eat anymore. OK, what did you want
- to remember to say? It's nine. And then your last one, the chicken that is presently un-sauced, we're
- going to throw some last dab on it. OK. I can't get. I'm not drinking. I'm not drinking. I'm not eating
- the whole thing, because OK, I'm just going to eat this part at the end.
- I think I, I think everybody got what, what they came here for, which is the bomb. So I'm just going
- to like eat. Okay. Sorry. I just like, I have so much snot on my face. I'm like, I'm really like, do
- you want to pull the plate a little closer to you? No, you got it. Okay, great. Oh, you went for it.
- Did I? You dove right in. Okay. Maybe I shouldn't have. Okay.
- Okay. My piles are all mixed up. Okay. Pickles or gherkins? Gherkins are pickles. But they're different.
- Um, I want like a, like a really crisp dill pickle. Oh, good answer. Yeah. I want like a crisp,
- Like a garlicky, dilly, you know? That's what I want. Correct. But what's the other one? What are you
- talking about? Gherkins? Yeah, what is different about it? They're smaller, and they usually have, chef
- answer, they usually have. They're like the baby pickles, so they're slightly different. Or they're
- the baby cucumbers, excuse me. So they're a slightly different texture. And they're usually made with
- different spices. And the brine is fancier, and it has all this other stuff in it to make it
- sophisticated, but. Can we go get a paper towel? Yeah. I literally have a bunch of snot in my face.
- Of all the things to forget, I am so sorry. It's OK. I'll be back. It's OK. We're just going to insert
- elevator music here. You know, like in Phineas and Ferb, when they're just on the elevator,
- and it's like, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Yeah, that's what's happening right now. The
- Jeopardy theme, but non-copyrighted. Correct. The non-copyrighted Jeopardy. What would that be? Would
- it be like the Jeopardy theme with an extra beat behind it?
- Backwards, the backwards Jeopardy theme. Absolutely not. You do some original tunes, Sprout. Yeah, are
- we about to have like a vanilla ice situation? Is he back already? Okay, I feel better now. Sorry, I
- could not like, I was not gonna be able to keep talking to you. It's like the snot was like crazy on
- my face. Okay.
- That's so fair. OK. All right. OK. I don't remember what is after this in the slideshow. OK. It's the
- last dab. Are you prepared? I guess, dude. OK. I have one last question for you that I'm going to ask
- post-sauce experience. All right. So I will let you do the first honors. It's over 91% pepper X. Don't
- think about it too much. That's what it says.
- And you already shook it? Mm-hmm. OK. The notes literally say you have to shake it or else it'll be
- chunky. I think the bomb was like the worst thing I've ever eaten in my life. Mm-hmm. Oh, OK. Whatever.
- It's misery in a bottle. If the people who ever created the bomb watch this show, I'm so sorry, but
- we're right and you know it.
- It doesn't even taste like food. Hold on, don't make me laugh. It tastes like something evil. On instinct,
- I almost just splashed more onto this, because I like hot sauce. And I was like, wait, I could do a
- little more. And then I was like, no. No. This is the one that's an explosive. OK. Are you ready? Yeah.
- On three? Yeah. One, two.
- Don't you love your job? Yeah, I do. Okay. Okay. I hate that one. Last question I have before we open
- it up to the audience. Actually, do we have time for that? Thumbs up, thumbs down. I don't know. Great.
- Wonderful. How do you feel?
- How do you feel? I feel full of regret. I feel bad, but I feel empowered, I guess. I feel like I don't
- know who I am anymore. And that's OK, actually. That can be good.
- So I don't know, is that an answer? I feel fine. I feel like, okay, so after the bomb, it was like,
- it was like bad, but then I sort of got used to how bad it was. But then filibustering on the lost finale
- was really like the thing that kind of brought me back into myself. Like it made me feel so like grounded
- in who I am.
- I love that for you. Yeah. And it's sort of like, it made the heat like, I feel like my mouth is sort
- of on fire, but it's like, um, it's like, I don't know. I just, I feel like, uh, I don't know. I don't
- know what I'm saying anymore. Do you feel like a new person? Yeah. Yeah. Great. Okay. Um, we're gonna
- see if anybody in the audience has any questions they'd like to ask because quite frankly, I can't speak
- right now.
- Cool for it. I love that idea. That's really funny. With or without Hot Sauce? Maybe not my own musical,
- but I think... I think that's a good idea.
- Maybe you guys have bottles of hot sauce. It's a musical about hot sauce. Oh, yeah. Maybe we are bottles
- of hot sauce. It's a musical about chilis that really want to become hot sauce. I'll pass that on.
- Thank you. Thank you. Sam's the main character. Great. No, Danny's the main character. Danny has to
- be the main character. OK, it'll be a battle between Sam and Danny, I think is what I'm hearing. They
- should fight on the stage. Dressed as bottles of hot sauce.
- Got anything else? What's the thing they do at auctions? Going once. Going twice. Nothing from the peanut
- gallery. Wonderful, delightful. I'm gonna go eat ice. Thank you so much, Jack, for joining us for this
- round of madness. Was there anything else on the slideshow? Ah, yes. Back when you were
- But a wee, but a wee child before. The backpack has dinosaurs on it. Oh, it does have dinosaurs. It's
- very cute. Yeah. Back before the events of your life that led you here. Yeah. Do you have a favorite
- dinosaur? No. I like the ones that eat leaves and they have a long neck. I like those. I don't know
- if they were my favorite. I don't know enough about them to have a favorite, I guess. Is it a Brontosaurus?
- Brontosaurus, yeah. Or what's the one from?
- The Land Before Time. Is there a Brontosaurus in that? Brachiosaurus. Yeah, those are cool dudes. Amazing.
- I love that we closed on favorite dinosaur. Yeah, me too. All right. Thank you, and I'm sorry. Thank
- you for having me. Wonderful. Anytime. I got over my anger at you. After we ate the last dab,
- I was like, I can't believe I'm doing this. And then it faded back into, now I'm happy to be here. Yeah.
- We've reached a new level. We had a whole, I had a whole journey. And we came out on the other side
- strong before it. Yeah. Great. I think after the end, you know, at the end, they all just sort of like
- meld into one sort of like hot thing. But, um, the last, not the last app, the, the bomb was like pretty
- bad. Yeah. So it was only up from there. Yeah. Great. Just like life. All right. Well,
- Wonderful. Thank you so much for joining us. That has been this round of MCPL Hot Ones. We're gonna
- go cry and get more napkins.