Hello, everyone. Welcome to MCPL Hot Ones, the show where we have hot sauces and even hotter questions.
Yeah, come on in. Today's guest is Adult Services Librarian Jack Kowaleski. We are going to be going
through 10 hot sauces, each one getting progressively hotter as we go, while asking some questions that
were submitted by all you lovely folks. So, Jack, how you feeling?
I feel amazing. I'm really ready to, to go. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Let's get into it. Okay. So there's
Jack's face in case seeing him live wasn't quite enough when I had long hair. Yeah. All right. So the
first sauce is just hot ones classic with a Scoville level, which is like spiciness degree of 1800.
So let's dig into that one and see how it goes. Okay.
Have people been eating the whole thing? Up to you. Okay. I will say you do have some pretty big pieces
over there. So you might want to pace yourself. Okay. Can you do 10 pushups and will you do them right now?
I think I can struggle through them. Be my guest. Okay. Are we gonna count along? One. Two. Three. Four.
Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Two more. Nine. You got this.
Okay. Amazing. Okay. So the answer is no, but that's okay. They didn't say, could you do them well or
successfully? You just did them. So the answer is yes. Yes. Delightful. Thank you for whoever wrote
that. Yeah. Okay. Moving forward. How was the spice level on that one? How do you feel? That one I feel
like was not noticeable. Yeah. Not, not noticeably spicy, honestly. Right.
But now my blood is pumping and I'm ready. You know, I am curious to know scientifically, if there are
any scientists out there who have the answer to this, please let me know. Does exercising immediately
before or after consuming hot sauce and the increased blood circulation, I wonder if that makes your
taste buds more susceptible to spice? Or if it helps you handle it? That is a good question for the
scientists. For the scientists. Yes. Yes. We will have to find out. There's something going on. Yes.
We'll see.
Correlation causation all those wonderful things. Okay. So the next sauce that we have is ghost pepper
pear flavor Not to build it up too much, but I do remember really enjoying this one. Okay ghost pepper
pear ghost pepper pear. What an interesting collaboration. Mm-hmm. I Love a fruity hot sauce. I gotta
say Okay, I don't know about that not you're not a fan I
Is it the fruitiness? There's something weird about it. Okay. I also like, I have too many drinks. No,
you don't. You need at least minimum of three. I have like, there's just a lot of, there's a lot of
ooh. What just happened? I taste the habanero. There's a lot happening with like, this is chocolate
and then this is like, like an herbal, like,
like lemon balm kind of tea, and then this is just water, but it's a lot. There's a lot happening sense-wise.
It's a gastronomic experience over there. Yes. OK. Do you have an embarrassing hobby? If so, elaborate.
Smiley face. Do I have an embarrassing hobby? I don't think so. I think my, I think,
I wouldn't call it embarrassing, but the nerdiest thing that I do is that I collect CDs and I have a
very particular setup for what goes in what thing. So I have different players that are based on the
year that a CD came out. So I have one crappy boom box that plays
90s and early 2000 CDs and it's just there's something about like the way that they sound on that Player
that's like right, you know, yeah Like it's not supposed to sound good. It's supposed to sound like
it sounded Yeah, you know, so I think I think just like that's probably the not embarrassing but just
like nerdy No, but I get that though because if it was like
If the format that the music is on was produced at a certain time, then it obviously goes best with
the music player that was made in the same time. Because it's like the whole vibe. It's how it was intended
to be listened to. Yeah, it's not always supposed to sound as good as it can sound. Because if music
is also recorded in a way that's not high fidelity, then playing it back in high fidelity is going to
reveal that it's... It reveals the limitations of the...
recording. So you should just play it on whatever it was meant to be played on, I guess. On the flip
side, I think you could also take music that was from a very, very different time and remaster the life
out of it and see just how terrible it becomes or how different it becomes. Yeah, that could
be an experiment, too. Yep. On the topic of science, because this has gone in a very scientific direction.
We love science. We are loving science up in here today. Yes.
What is the scientific name of a giant African millipede? This question was asked by Sophia. Did they
write the real name on it? That they did. Okay. Because I don't know. I wouldn't know that. Do you want
to hazard a guess? What was the thing? Giant millipede? Giant African millipede. Giant African millipede.
No, I can't. I can't guess something.
Do you want to try to struggle through this, or would you just like me to tell you? Whatever you prefer.
Okay, great. It is the Arches Spiro streptus gigas. Okay. Possibly the Arches Spiro streptus.
I don't know. See, I couldn't even guess something that would sound correct. No, and the only like context
I have for the word gigas is it's used to describe a really big book that I saw in Sweden, so. Okay.
But anyhow,
While we move on to the next question, well the next question is, what's your funniest band camp story?
And also, can you explain what is happening in these various travel pictures? Sure, yeah. My funniest
band camp story, that's actually such a good question. Because I spent so many hours in band camp.
I think, actually one time I got like,
I have a huge scar on my knee because one time there was a lot of hopping into people's cars and driving
to wherever we could drive in the break time that we had between practicing. So we would just see how
many people we could fit in somebody's car, which is not something you should do, but it's a thing that
we did a lot. And I remember it pouring rain, and I got this drink from the gas station. This is not
the most embarrassing story.
What was the question? What has your funniest been? This one isn't even that's funny, but I can't think
of anything else, so I'm just going to tell you. We went to the gas station, and I got one of those
fountain drinks. And I got out of the backseat of a car, and I tripped out of the car. And I held up
the cup, and it just perfectly, the bottom of the cup perfectly came off. So I just watched all the
drink come out of it. And then I had this huge cut on my knee, and I still have a scar on my knee.
That's brutal. That's brutal. That is also something that I feel like you watch happen in slow motion
as it's occurring to you. Yeah, yeah. And it's just such a bummer because I wanted that drink.
So many losses. Yeah. And I'm bleeding. And I'm like, that's not even the worst part of it. It's just
that I don't have the drink anymore. You don't even have the treat to get through the injury.
OK, so you traveled to band camp and also many other places. Yeah. OK, so these are like two very different
times because the first photo I'm like really happy in. And then this one is like at the very end of
like when I was moving away. And so I like am really unhappy in that one. But this one, like my buddy
had like friends that had a boat. And so we were like fishing.
And well, I wasn't fishing. I mean, clearly, I'm not fishing. I'm wearing a coat over my coat that I
had to borrow. And then I also am wrapped in this scarf because it was so cold. And the people that
we were with had crab pots. So you would go around the bay or whatever. And there would be places where
you would have the coordinates of where your pot is. And you would put bait in it or whatever. And then
a week later, you'd come back and pull it up. And there'd be crab in it.
Um, and so we were doing that and, um, that day was cool too, because, um, on our way back, there's
like a big, like channel of traffic in the, in the water. So like a bunch of boats are kind of going
back and, um, we saw like whales, there were like a bunch of whales, like around the boat, like killer
whales and like just beautiful, like, you know, they were like swimming with the boat because the channel
has created this like stream. Are we talking like,
a wee little sailboat situation? Are we talking like a yacht? Like what size is this boat? It's like
not little, but not big either. It's got a motor. I mean, it's like, it's got a motor in like a canopy,
but like probably it didn't really have a lot of seating. It was like, um, like the front of it had
some seats, but, um, kind of like big enough for you to stand up in and move around a little bit, like
put some, put some fishing rods and stuff and some, uh, gear.
And I was just there for the ride. You were just along for the journey. I was like, I just want some
fish and I want some fried rice at the end and whatever. And I'm just there for the adventure. And then
this is a spot that I would come to when I was just feeling sad. And I would just need to sit on a rock
or whatever and just look at the islands or whatever. But it's funny because even when you're sad in Alaska,
It's still so beautiful that it's almost like you can't, like it almost is like disrespectful to be,
to be like depressed in Alaska. You know what I mean? That's going to be the new tagline for those like
visit Alaska commercials. So if you're watching TV and it's like, it's disrespectful to be sad here,
you know where it came from. Exactly. Yeah. Amazing. So yeah, it's very like night and day.
Sure. For me, when I see those. It's literally the two theater masks, like smiling, frowning. Yes. But
the Alaskan version. Yeah, but I was still trying to like, obviously, I'm taking a selfie, so I'm trying
to make it seem like I'm really happy. I'll be posting it on Instagram later or whatever. But on the
inside, it's like I'm ready to be out of here. I'm just literally get me on a plane out of here. Fair.
All right, now that we've had a story break, you ready for sauce number three? Yeah.
Delightful. So this is Neil's Real Deal Smoked Onion Hot Sauce. It's the really dark one. Don't let
the color scare you. Oh, okay. This is three, right? Yes. Okay. My chicken is very room temperature.
How's yours? It's cold. Yeah. So this one, if I'm not mistaken, is a solid jump in Scoville levels from
the first two.
I'm curious to know how it feels for you. Kind of tastes like barbecue sauce, which is good. Yeah. It
definitely lives up to the name. It doesn't feel like that much spicier. It feels about the same as
two. I think telling my story, it kind of like, I forgot. I forgot that we were doing this for a second.
And I was like, oh, I got
Like I think if we had done it right back to back, I'd be like, Oh, this is hot. But I think my mouth
had time to like kind of cool off a little bit. This is why we keep everyone talking. Uh, speaking of,
Oh my God. Okay. These next two questions, doctors or dentists explain. I'm going to say dentists because
Why would I say dentist? Hmm. Doctors or dentists? I think I can relate to a dentist's kind of vibe.
Like they're just like, they're like kind of freaks. They're kind of like freaks about like teeth freaks.
You know, they're kind of just like, they're kind of just like, let me in there. Like in a way that's
like kind of like,
Like, let's look at the top 36th tooth or whatever. And you're like, what? They have this diagram in
their head for what they want to see. And you're just like, whoa, that's intense. And I can kind of
relate to that. Sure.
And they also have their own language. I remember the last time I went to the dentist, they were like
26 buckle or whatever, which I think refers to whether it's on your top jaw or your lower jaw.
But I was like, yeah, my teeth have buckles. That's, mm-hmm. They have a shorthand. Yeah. They have
so many instruments. Yes. It's very technical. Mm-hmm. It's sort of weird. It's just sort of weird in
there. I don't know. Mm-hmm. Very fair. So I would say dentist. I'm with you. My answer would also be
dentist, but I love your justification.
And then for the second question, pie? Yes. I like pie. I would never choose a pie if I was at a restaurant.
I would never choose a pie. I'd probably choose a cake. Or what would I choose? You know what I love,
though? Lemon meringue pie. I would choose lemon meringue pie over just about anything. And I think
it's maybe the best dessert
Maybe. I don't know if I am standing by that. I think I am for the time being. I think lemon meringue
pie is the best dessert. And so yes, I would say pie. OK. All right. So to answer the question, pie.
Pie. Yeah. Pie period instead of pie question mark. Yeah. Heard. Let's see. Do we have a sauce or a
story next? Sauce. OK. This one, I think, is almost double the Scoville level. It goes to $36,000. OK.
I'm going to eat this one in two.
I think that I gave you a really big one, I'm sorry. I'm kind of big. So let's just get in there. Mm-hmm.
So while we... It's good. Yeah, right, isn't it delicious? Yeah. It tastes like a salsa verde. Mm-hmm.
Okay, if you could rename one animal, starting to feel it, what animal would it be?
And what new name would you give it? Well, it's a big one. I know. You can also always pass. I think
that I'm thinking of like, what are really good animal names? Like, I think giraffe is a good animal
name. And I think,
I think hippopotamus is a good animal name. Hippopotamus looks like a hippopotamus. Yeah. And I think
zebra is a good animal name. Like these are names that like, they're not like other things. Um, well
I think of like a bad animal name. I'm thinking about like ground hog. Sure. Like why is he a hog?
You know, like does that make sense? Why is he a hog? Why is he a hog? Do we have any guesses? Why is he a hog?
Oh, sure, yeah. They're like hogging the ground by taking up the ground. That's actually really funny.
Yeah. They make it so much harder for all the other animals who live in the ground. They just take it
all up. They're a ground hog. They're hogging the ground. They hog the ground. OK, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's actually, that's perfect. So I was going to say I would rename the ground hog, but now I take
it back. I won't. So I don't know. I don't know.
I guess something that, I don't know. I can't even think of what other animals are right now. Like,
yeah. On the topic of groundhogs, I think I would respectfully rename Punxsutawney Phil, just because
have you ever tried to spell Punxsutawney? No. I couldn't. You can't do it. I couldn't, and I won the
spelling bee in fifth grade. And I couldn't do it. Not with the word Punxsutawney? No. No. That would
have made kids cry, and kids did cry.
I made them cry. No, I'm just kidding. Well, I mean. Potentially. Potentially. Yeah. Jury's still out.
With my amazing spelling skills. They were just so jealous. Yeah. Well, speaking of school adventures,
I'm going to make the world's largest leap here and be like, look, school, marching band, and also music.
Or you add in the doors and the doors and Lady Gaga. Were you at a Lady Gaga concert? What's happening?
Well, this is my first. This is my like my first weekend at college, I think. Cute. And this is just
like on the quad at Collins. So that's not just like that's not actually a music event. That's just
no, that's just me going for it. And so like.
Like, I don't think anybody else is really dancing. Well, that guy is, the guy with the arm. But everybody
else is just like, literally just like, they're just standing around. And yeah, I loved that Lady Gaga
shirt. It's giving main character. It was 2011, so it was like, you know, she was big. Yeah. And she's
come back recently. Oh, yeah. In a big way. In a big way, yeah. Good for her. Amazing. We love to see
it. And I have a little headband on.
Yeah, right. A little sparkly headband and I have like little sparkly makeup on my cheeks. Well, that's
why I thought it was like a music festival or something. Yeah, it looks like. Because glitter. Glitter
and Gaga, you know? I wish it had been. Right. And also marching band. Marching band, yeah. Could you
please run us through a list of all the instruments you played or instruments and bands you were in?
Because I remember there was quite a strong number. Well, I played the bass clarinet mostly, but I played
the regular clarinet, too.
We did like a symphony orchestra, not symphony, not a symphony. A symphony has like, symphony is big.
A symphony is like, this wasn't that. It was like 60 people. So we had an orchestra, whatever that means.
And then we had a jazz band, but the jazz band only had like eight people. And I'm playing bass clarinet
in the jazz band, but I'm playing like a low brass part. And then the other low brass parts are played by like,
a French horn and like something else that's not like a low brass instrument. So like everything just
sounded kind of weird. And then we also had marching band, obviously. And then we had like a sports
band, but it was all of us. We just did that like no matter what. So we would go to the basketball games
and play like in a band there.
And the thing about that is that we would play a game where we would all switch instruments during the
game. And we would try to play each other's instruments and see if our band director would notice. That
was the game that we would play. But it was fun, too. It was also like, can I play the French horn?
And I got pretty good at it. Did the band director notice? Yeah.
Nah, bummer. But actually, actually sometimes no, because it was so loud and we were already so bad
that like, that like, it probably just sounded normal. Sure. Like it was probably just, you know. It's
just like, ah, business as usual. This is what they always sound like. Like they still can't play the,
the school song or whatever, you know? Yeah. Okay. So, okay. I want to ask this one. Uh, what if we,
uh, we're going to go to the next sauce and then I'm going to ask you,
What if we were all chairs? I love that question. Okay. What number are we on? Five? We're on five.
Let's munch on some apple caraway hot sauce while you ponder what if we were all chairs? Love it. They
haven't been that hot.
Just wait. OK. Just wait. I said the same thing. OK. It's like the fool's utterance or whatever. What
if we were all chairs? I mean, I feel like if it were me asking this question, I would be like, if you
were a chair, what kind of chair would you be? Sure. Do you think about if we were all chairs, what
kind of chair would you be?
I'm going to be so real with you. I haven't really thought that deeply about it because I can't wrap
my head around it, but I am, I am along for the ride. Cause I'm like, I'm like thinking about like what
kind of, I'm thinking about which kind of chair I would be. And I would be like one of those chairs
that's like, um, like, like, you know, those kinds of chairs that have like, they're like curved down
and then they have like the kind of like, like the, the, the seat element is kind of like suspended
in the air.
It's like one of those almost like acrylic chairs. Yeah, like very not Art Deco, not Art Nouveau. What's
the like abstract? Yeah, kind of like modern chair. Yeah, and it's kind of like it doesn't like like
it kind of like when you sit down in it, it kind of like it kind of moves down a little bit like that.
It kind of like looks like it's sort of floating, but it's not bouncy. It is a little bouncy, but not like
Like, that's not the point. It's just that's what happens because of how it's made. If you were looking
at it from the side, is it one that would almost look like a D or a B? Yes. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking.
See? Yeah, yeah. I get you. So I think if we were chairs, that's the kind of chair I would be. I can't
think of one other person who would have that answer. So I support it. And then, courtesy of Jason,
our wonderful security guard,
Would you rather eat warm yogurt or cold beets? Cold beets, for sure. Oh, OK. Cold beets, yeah.
Cold beets, I mean, that's. Cold beets. Cold beets, that's like a thing. That's like, well, I mean,
OK, so you'd have to, not raw beets, you have to boil the beets first. Sure. You have to cook them.
But then, if they were cold, that would be great. OK. Yeah. And I watch a lot of Top Chef.
And they did this thing on Top Chef where somebody made a beet gummy thing. It was like they took the
beet juice and then they made a gummy out of it. And that was cold. So, cold beets. Beets can be cold.
Beets can be cold. I would eat a beet gummy, I gotta say. Yeah. I hate beets, but I would eat a beet
juice gummy. That sounds fancy. Yeah. All right.
Next, we have the Jerk and Scotch Bonnet hot sauce, which is a... This is six. Yeah. Scoville level
of... This one's gonna be hot. Yeah. I remember it picking up right around here. Because Jerk and Scotch
Bonnet are both like... I don't know. That's a lot, I think. They're gonna start coming for you, I'm
telling you. I've been having too easy of a time, I think. And I'm kind of ready for it to like... Be
a little harder.
We can pick up the pace too. Maybe. I'm also talking a lot, so. Okay. So while that one builds, please
justify the existence of the potato. Where do I even begin? I know. I love a potato. It's almost like
the question is sort of like, I don't know, like,
Why would you need to justify it? Truly. It can be so many things. It's a beautiful food. Who out here
is questioning the existence of the potato? That's what I want to know. We have some potato heads in
the audience, I think. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You can fry them. You can boil them. Oh, are we about to? Are
you going to do the thing from? No. What thing?
When I asked the teen staff this question, because I thought it was funny, I was like, hey, can you
justify this? Oh, boil and mash them, stick them in a stew. Every single one of them was like, boil
and mash them, stick them in a stew, because we're nerds. No, totally. And I thought as soon as you
were like, you can mash them, I was like, oh my god, is it about to happen? No, I wasn't going there,
but yes. And so that's a great iconic line that really illustrates how versatile the potato is.
I can't think of a potato I don't like. That would be... Man. You know? I do know. I'm like getting
emotional about it. I love potatoes. Just pour one out for the humble potato. There's this thing that
they do on Top Chef, okay? Where they like, they slice them really... So I can't remember what it's
called. It's like a special French thing. And they like slice them really thin and then they like put
them in like a little square.
like really thin, really thin and it's like a hundred layers of potato and they're in like a little
like thing and it's beautiful and you like, and it's like crispy on the outside and like soft in the
middle but it's all the layers too. You can taste all the layers. And I dream about that. I've never
had one. If I ever go to France, that's like, I need that. I forget what it's called though. It's a
special French thing. It is a special French thing and I know exactly. This one is hot. It builds, see
they come for you. It's building.
I do know exactly what you're talking about. It is a special French potato. I have made it.
I could not, for the life of me, come up with the name, but I... You've made it? Yeah, in my days as
a chef, yes. You were a chef? I didn't know that you didn't know that, yeah. No, I don't know anything.
Well, this isn't my hot ones. This is yours, so we can come back to that one later. Okay, wait. Okay.
We have to talk about that. Okay. Okay. Oh, I wanted to ask this one. Courtesy of Sprout.
Please come up with a ship name for their RPG. I don't have any additional information. It is what should
we name our ship in our RPG? Like a vessel? I don't know. Or like two people who are in love? I think
it could go either way, really. Yeah. I think whatever you come up with, whether it's a vessel or for
like a romance thing, I think the name could work. I think the ship name should be like
This is stupid. I was just like, lovers journey. And I was like, lovers journey could be a ship, like
on the water. Yeah, it could be. I think so. Because I think, but that's not that interesting, but that's
what came to my head. And I think because I'm of the Brad Jelena generation, I was like, you can always
shorten it to Lojo. Yeah, you could. Lojo. Yeah, there you go.
Hashtag Lojo, there you go. Yeah. OK, sauce number question mark, next one. Oh, no, we've got more of
these. OK, do you want to eat the next sauce, and then we'll show the thing after we tell? Yeah. Sure.
We're going out of order. Sorry, folks. We're doing seven? Yes. OK. Which one is seven? Hold on. Yeah,
what is seven? Ninja napalm. I'm starting to get burps. I told you. The thing that I was worried the
most about is,
like snot happening. And then like, and then like, um, like, I don't know, just like sounds and stuff,
you know? There's still time. I know. Don't worry. Oh, I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't
like that. I'm just kidding.
I'm only eating half of that. I'm not eating the whole thing. That's fair. I don't like that.
I don't either. Do you like that? I can't say I do. It's like, it's like really, um, it's so acidic.
It's like, Oh no. It's like sour. It's like sour. Yeah. What was it? What? Ninja napalm. And does it
say what's in it? Like what's the main flavor? No.
No, it's just a chili pepper and he's got a sword. It's just the pepper ninja. That's not good. No.
It's not good when the chili pepper has a sword. No. But honestly, I feel like for the most sour,
spicy one, a chili pepper with a sword makes the most sense. I don't like that. No. OK. Oh, I love this
question. Who is the best Muppet and why? Gonzo. Is he a Muppet? Of course he's a Muppet. OK. Yes. Gonzo. Wait.
Let me think through. He's in A Muppet's Christmas Carol. He plays the narrator guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But isn't there another group of, oh, OK, sometimes I get the Sesame Street characters. OK, this one's
hot, dude. OK, sometimes I get the Sesame Street characters because is there a Gonzo-esque Sesame Street
character? There's, yes. Sesame Street characters are Muppets. OK, great. Great. OK.
Snuffle up, I guess. I don't know what I'm thinking of anymore. Could be Grover. That is a good one.
I think I am. Is Grover Sesame Street? Yeah, they are both blue. Yeah. And they're both blue. OK. Anyway,
Gonzo is the one that I like the most because he's deep. He is always in a dark night of the soul kind
of moment. He's relatable.
You know, he's on a journey. He's on a soul journey. You know what I mean? Yes, I do. And see, I like
that answer because most people like Gonzo because he's a silly, goofy little guy that no one really
understands. I don't think he is. I don't think he is as silly as you think he is. No? But maybe I don't
know. I actually don't know. Do you think it's like a mask? Maybe, yes. It's a defense mechanism? I
think that I haven't seen enough Muppets things to know what all their vibe is.
What about Bert and Ernie? What are they? Is that Sesame Street? That's Sesame Street. But they are
all Henson. They are all Jim Henson. And so they're all Muppets. So they count. So they all count. So
I can say that. I don't know. I would say Gonzo. Sure. What's like the, OK, is there like an Eeyore
equivalent of, I think I'm overthinking it. I think it's Gonzo. OK. And I like Oscar the Grouch, too.
I was going to say I think that's the Eeyore equivalent, because I don't know of any other like sad
Muppets. So now that I know that he's a Muppet,
I can say that too. Yes, you can. And he's like, he's just a real dude, you know. He is a real dude.
He tells it like it is. Yeah, and he flies out of cannons on the regular and dates a chicken. So really,
you can't get more relatable than that. Oscar the Grouch does? Oh, I thought you meant Gonzo. Oh, I
don't know anything. Well, Oscar's best friend is a worm, so. Yeah, yeah. Do with that one. Gonzo flies
out of the cannons. That he does, yes. Maybe I don't know anything about Gonzo.
Maybe I just made up a whole archetype for it, so it's not true. I don't know, anyway. Well, speaking
of being on a soul's journey, could you please elaborate on your favorite and least favorite tarot cards?
Good question. My favorite and my least favorite. Well, I mean, honestly, if we're going to go there,
favorite and least favorite is sort of like what
part of the life cycle are you favoring? There can't really be a favorite and a least favorite because
we're all part of one tapestry of life. Are you saying it kind of like... All the tarot cards are just
parts of existence distilled into symbols and archetypes. So you can't really
say that one is your favorite and one is your least favorite. But if you would say artistically, some
of them have more interesting imagery, I think. That's fair. I think the death card is cool.
I like her. So maybe that would be my favorite. And then least favorite, I don't even know what I'm
saying. Least favorite, I would say, is like, hey,
What's the one that's like, um, there's like a couple of boring ones. Yeah. Um, what's the one that's
like, that's like the like religious guy. The hierophant? Yeah, that one because I just like, I cannot
wrap my head around the like, the symbol of it, the symbolism of it. I think that one. I'm not a big
tarot guy, but I would say that one just cause it's boring. That's fair.
That's so fair. That one took me the longest time to really like get, but when I stopped thinking of
it as like, this is a religious dude and more like this is the figure who represents like tradition
and ritual and like your relationship to that, that was when it kind of started to sink in. But it's
all an individual journey. Yeah. I like the question. Yeah, it is a good question. Yeah. Was there anything
on this slide that you wanted to tell us about while we dig into sauce number
Not that one. Nope. Hold on. Well, we dig into Da Bomb. Oh, that's the bad one. It is. That's the bad
one. OK. So do you want to dig into this one and then go back and tell us some stories? Yeah, sure.
Amazing. Let's do that. While you're sweating. This one, I think I'm just going to eat half again. Fair.
Or should I eat more? I don't know. Let's just see what happens. Challenge by choice, my friend.
I hate that. Yeah. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It tastes so bad, dude. I'm so happy you're here. Thanks.
No. Oh, no. It tastes so bad. It tastes so bad. It tastes really bad, Ellie. Oh, brother, I know.
I was gonna put the whole thing in. Oh my. It tastes, oh no, it tastes so bad. It tastes like, did you
eat it too? Yeah, I'm in it with you brother. I think I have to leave. Before the last dab?
I thought this was gonna be fun. And we were having such a good time. I think, okay, that is poison.
That is poisonous. It's miserable. Has the spice hit yet? Yes. What do you even mean? What do you mean
has it hit?
Cause I remember for me, like the first time I had it, I like could taste it. And then after I swallowed
it, all of a sudden it was just like this rush. Remember when you said it was easy? Yeah, it was really
easy. They were all not spicy. And then that one is like poison.
I'm not having fun anymore. Oh, good thing you got two more. Oh, my god. It's for the kids, Jack. It's
for the kids. Yes. This was such a bad idea. This is like, I didn't know. Oh, no. OK. OK, I need something
to distract me from this. OK, great. Where did we leave off? All right, ooh. How do you feel about the
ending of Lost? That's such a good question.
much time do we have do you have any napkins oh that's what I forgot I knew there was something on the
list my tears I can give you the old questions my tears are spicy like my the the tears are like burning
my face okay the ending of
So is anybody going to watch Lost or hasn't watched it? Me. No spoilers. No spoilers? I'm going to spoil
it. I'm going to spoil it. It's been on for a long time. Or it's been out for a long time. Statute of
limitations. Yeah. So at the end of Lost, it's sort of like, so they crash on the island, right? And
then in the last season, the whole structure of the show is that when they have the drama on the island,
and then they flash back to before the island,
And then in the last season, they're flashing to something. They're flashing to another set of stories
that are in an alternate timeline. And so you're like, what is this thing that's happening? Because
a lot of these people have died already on the show. And so at the end of it, they have this moment
where it gets spiritual, and it's this idea that
the people on the island have created another space through their friendships where they can exist together
outside of the timeline of the show. So sort of like a heaven, but it's not really heaven, it's not
Christian in that way, but it's sort of this spiritual place. They literally gather in a church, but
it's not a religious experience. And so they do that sort of in place of
wrapping up a lot of the stories on the show, or not wrapping up the stories. They don't answer all
of the questions that you have, like why are there polar bears on the island, although they do answer
that. But the mysteries of the show aren't all wrapped up, and they do this version of it instead of
doing that. Because the whole point of the show is that the relationships that happen on the island
mean something, or that these
these sort of like friendships and love relationships that we're in, like they matter. And so a lot
of people thought like, I don't like the ending because they didn't tell me like what the answer to
my most burning question is. And instead we get this sort of like spiritual allegory moment, which for
me is very like good because it's like, you know,
the character driven element of that show is like the point of the show. And I think that they highlighted
that really well. And so I love the ending of Lost. Whereas like a lot of people felt like it was a
cop out. That's sort of my that's my take. I didn't really need to explain it all that I just did.
But like, doing that did give me some some relief from my
from my burning mouth. I was going to say, you were filibustering. Yeah, I was filibustering a little
bit. And I feel like filibustering is the way to get through the, I still feel bad, but I feel good
because I get to talk about Lost, and no one ever asks me about it. So anyway, I love the ending of
Lost. I think it's great. Wonderful. Now that you've filibustered your way to a place of peace, are
you ready to have that be wrecked with a hint, a hint, a hint? Oh, also, hold on really quick. A moment.
A moment for the hair, maybe, please. Thank you so much. That's my prom picture. And then this is, I
dyed my hair orange in high school. And I would like flat iron it every morning with like hairspray.
I just, I simply couldn't skip past that. And it's also orange in that photo. It's just black and white,
so you can't see it. Just for the record. For the record. We all know now. Okay. What are we breaking
our soul with? That's the one we just did that was poison.
The Arbol Scorpion, Scoville level, 820,000. What? I don't want to eat anymore. OK, what did you want
to remember to say? It's nine. And then your last one, the chicken that is presently un-sauced, we're
going to throw some last dab on it. OK. I can't get. I'm not drinking. I'm not drinking. I'm not eating
the whole thing, because OK, I'm just going to eat this part at the end.
I think I, I think everybody got what, what they came here for, which is the bomb. So I'm just going
to like eat. Okay. Sorry. I just like, I have so much snot on my face. I'm like, I'm really like, do
you want to pull the plate a little closer to you? No, you got it. Okay, great. Oh, you went for it.
Did I? You dove right in. Okay. Maybe I shouldn't have. Okay.
Okay. My piles are all mixed up. Okay. Pickles or gherkins? Gherkins are pickles. But they're different.
Um, I want like a, like a really crisp dill pickle. Oh, good answer. Yeah. I want like a crisp,
Like a garlicky, dilly, you know? That's what I want. Correct. But what's the other one? What are you
talking about? Gherkins? Yeah, what is different about it? They're smaller, and they usually have, chef
answer, they usually have. They're like the baby pickles, so they're slightly different. Or they're
the baby cucumbers, excuse me. So they're a slightly different texture. And they're usually made with
different spices. And the brine is fancier, and it has all this other stuff in it to make it
sophisticated, but. Can we go get a paper towel? Yeah. I literally have a bunch of snot in my face.
Of all the things to forget, I am so sorry. It's OK. I'll be back. It's OK. We're just going to insert
elevator music here. You know, like in Phineas and Ferb, when they're just on the elevator,
and it's like, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Yeah, that's what's happening right now. The
Jeopardy theme, but non-copyrighted. Correct. The non-copyrighted Jeopardy. What would that be? Would
it be like the Jeopardy theme with an extra beat behind it?
Backwards, the backwards Jeopardy theme. Absolutely not. You do some original tunes, Sprout. Yeah, are
we about to have like a vanilla ice situation? Is he back already? Okay, I feel better now. Sorry, I
could not like, I was not gonna be able to keep talking to you. It's like the snot was like crazy on
my face. Okay.
That's so fair. OK. All right. OK. I don't remember what is after this in the slideshow. OK. It's the
last dab. Are you prepared? I guess, dude. OK. I have one last question for you that I'm going to ask
post-sauce experience. All right. So I will let you do the first honors. It's over 91% pepper X. Don't
think about it too much. That's what it says.
And you already shook it? Mm-hmm. OK. The notes literally say you have to shake it or else it'll be
chunky. I think the bomb was like the worst thing I've ever eaten in my life. Mm-hmm. Oh, OK. Whatever.
It's misery in a bottle. If the people who ever created the bomb watch this show, I'm so sorry, but
we're right and you know it.
It doesn't even taste like food. Hold on, don't make me laugh. It tastes like something evil. On instinct,
I almost just splashed more onto this, because I like hot sauce. And I was like, wait, I could do a
little more. And then I was like, no. No. This is the one that's an explosive. OK. Are you ready? Yeah.
On three? Yeah. One, two.
Don't you love your job? Yeah, I do. Okay. Okay. I hate that one. Last question I have before we open
it up to the audience. Actually, do we have time for that? Thumbs up, thumbs down. I don't know. Great.
Wonderful. How do you feel?
How do you feel? I feel full of regret. I feel bad, but I feel empowered, I guess. I feel like I don't
know who I am anymore. And that's OK, actually. That can be good.
So I don't know, is that an answer? I feel fine. I feel like, okay, so after the bomb, it was like,
it was like bad, but then I sort of got used to how bad it was. But then filibustering on the lost finale
was really like the thing that kind of brought me back into myself. Like it made me feel so like grounded
in who I am.
I love that for you. Yeah. And it's sort of like, it made the heat like, I feel like my mouth is sort
of on fire, but it's like, um, it's like, I don't know. I just, I feel like, uh, I don't know. I don't
know what I'm saying anymore. Do you feel like a new person? Yeah. Yeah. Great. Okay. Um, we're gonna
see if anybody in the audience has any questions they'd like to ask because quite frankly, I can't speak
right now.
Cool for it. I love that idea. That's really funny. With or without Hot Sauce? Maybe not my own musical,
but I think... I think that's a good idea.
Maybe you guys have bottles of hot sauce. It's a musical about hot sauce. Oh, yeah. Maybe we are bottles
of hot sauce. It's a musical about chilis that really want to become hot sauce. I'll pass that on.
Thank you. Thank you. Sam's the main character. Great. No, Danny's the main character. Danny has to
be the main character. OK, it'll be a battle between Sam and Danny, I think is what I'm hearing. They
should fight on the stage. Dressed as bottles of hot sauce.
Got anything else? What's the thing they do at auctions? Going once. Going twice. Nothing from the peanut
gallery. Wonderful, delightful. I'm gonna go eat ice. Thank you so much, Jack, for joining us for this
round of madness. Was there anything else on the slideshow? Ah, yes. Back when you were
But a wee, but a wee child before. The backpack has dinosaurs on it. Oh, it does have dinosaurs. It's
very cute. Yeah. Back before the events of your life that led you here. Yeah. Do you have a favorite
dinosaur? No. I like the ones that eat leaves and they have a long neck. I like those. I don't know
if they were my favorite. I don't know enough about them to have a favorite, I guess. Is it a Brontosaurus?
Brontosaurus, yeah. Or what's the one from?
The Land Before Time. Is there a Brontosaurus in that? Brachiosaurus. Yeah, those are cool dudes. Amazing.
I love that we closed on favorite dinosaur. Yeah, me too. All right. Thank you, and I'm sorry. Thank
you for having me. Wonderful. Anytime. I got over my anger at you. After we ate the last dab,
I was like, I can't believe I'm doing this. And then it faded back into, now I'm happy to be here. Yeah.
We've reached a new level. We had a whole, I had a whole journey. And we came out on the other side
strong before it. Yeah. Great. I think after the end, you know, at the end, they all just sort of like
meld into one sort of like hot thing. But, um, the last, not the last app, the, the bomb was like pretty
bad. Yeah. So it was only up from there. Yeah. Great. Just like life. All right. Well,
Wonderful. Thank you so much for joining us. That has been this round of MCPL Hot Ones. We're gonna
go cry and get more napkins.