- Welcome back to My Spiritual Experience with your host, Brother Sadiq. Today we have in the house our
- special guest, Brian Williams, also known as Be Nasty. What's going on, man? What's happening, brother?
- Nothing much, man. Appreciate you inviting me on your platform, man. I appreciate it, man. I'm glad
- to have you. As you know, and this is what I say every time I have a guest, it's very much an honor
- for me to have guests and people brave enough and confident enough to talk about their spiritual experience.
- As you know, this entire show is about the everyday man and his experiences with spirituality and how
- it relates to him and how it relates to all of us. My idea is that the more we talk about these things,
- the more we bring them out of the closet, the less we fear them. Fear seems to be a big theme in these
- times, and I think us sharing these types of things will make us more amicable to our spiritual selves.
- This is my effort, and today we have, like I said, our special guest, Be Nasty in the house. Hey man,
- I like how you worded that, man. We do need to start more dialogue, and I couldn't wait to get this
- off my chest, really. I'm just happy to be here so I can just share what I've been going through. I
- know everybody go through what they go through, but for the past couple of 10 years, I've been trying
- to dive deeper into spirituality.
- We can do it, man. Very, very, very good. This is sounding like a good intro to what we're about to
- do here. And what I do generally in all of my conversations about spirituality is ask the brothers and
- the sisters, what was your first experience recognizing that something is going on outside of what they
- told you that everyday life is? What was your first spiritual experience? Well, my first spiritual experience
- I guess I'll start off by saying I wasn't never, I wasn't really raised in a church like that per se.
- Like we did kind of what everybody, I don't want to say everybody, I don't know what everybody else
- did, but you know, I probably went to church say out of the six months, I probably went to church probably
- like once or twice, like every six months, probably Easter. But I'll say my first experience with like
- religion and spirituality, I guess it was like, I remember I went to church, it was like Easter.
- It was an Easter Sunday. I don't know what year it was, but you know, I always I just start off by saying
- I was always kind of just skeptical about everything. It was just the first thing I saw was a big white
- Jesus on on the window at the church, you know, so that's the like the first
- thing I can remember was, who is this guy? And I think I asked somebody, like, who is it? They was like,
- that's Jesus. I'm like, that's Jesus? You know what I'm saying? That was my first, that was my first,
- I was like, that's Jesus? I was like, I'm in the middle of the hood too, you know what I'm saying?
- I was like, I think I was in East Chicago, you know what I'm saying? I was born in Maryville, Maryville,
- Gary, and Northwest Indiana, you know what I'm saying? But I think the church was in East Chicago, I believe.
- I was always kind of just skeptical from that point. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's I
- don't mean to cut you, but that is not at all uncommon for a child. Right. And the youth in our community.
- You know what I mean? Like you said, that's him. Right. When you when you know, I've been hearing about
- this for years.
- And that's who everybody prays to, too, you know what I'm saying? So I kind of just had to take a step
- back. And then I'm watching everybody hoop and holler. You know what I'm saying? I'm watching the preacher.
- When I went down, I was like, what the? What's going on? You know what I'm saying? I don't want you.
- I'm sorry. I don't want you. Oh, what's up, man? That had to be my first time. OK.
- Five years old? This is what I can remember. This is my first. This is what I can remember. Yeah, five
- years old. Around that time. Okay. That makes it up. You know, everybody buys suits. I'm like, I ain't
- had a suit all year. I'm like, what, what is this event? What is this event about? Right. And then I
- remember you want to talk about spirituality. You know, so I, you know, that was the first time I seen
- somebody catch the Holy Ghost. That day? Yeah. Okay. You know, I see,
- I ain't know what it was, you know? Of course. I said it was this older lady, and I'm sitting there
- and all I heard was, ah! She jumped up, crying, screaming, ah! And she get to speaking in tongues. I
- didn't know what tongues was. All I heard was, you know? Right, right, right, right. I don't want to
- mimic that. Yeah, of course, of course. You're like, you five years old, it's just babbling at that
- point. That's what I'm thinking, you know what I'm saying? And she running.
- So it sounds like it sounds like your whole initial experience with, we're going to say religion, religion,
- religion. That's not spirituality. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. We agree. Yeah. Your first encounter with
- religion was a little shocking. Very. Like, who is this dude? What is she doing?
- Why are we dressed like this? Yeah, I get you, I get you. I couldn't put it together. It's confusing.
- Very confusing. Yeah, and so did you, did you, what was the explanation from, so I ain't, I'm not saying,
- you know, we five year old, we may not have the wherewithal to go and question our mom or our dad and
- say, what is this? No. What is this about? I have a lot of questions. So you did ask? I asked everybody
- I could ask. I love it, I love it because that's, when you see this cat who they say is Jesus, that
- should be the natural instinct. But you know,
- Wondering question that should be natural like Detective God bless you young man. Go ahead. Let's hear
- what I'm sorry. I'm sorry Tell us the story sir, you asked you asked mom you asked dad who you asked
- Okay, but I can't remember I remember I asked a preacher I asked a preacher one time, you know, I
- And the preacher pretty much told me this was what I got out of him. Okay. Have faith. Didn't cut it
- for me. What was the question? The question was this was after I had to be I was much older after this
- when I really started asking questions. So I guess he's asking me when I asked when I was little or
- when I kind of let's let's stay with the mom there first because that's your first shocking experience.
- Right. And then what did they give you for
- that energy like you had, you fucked up, obviously. I'm sorry. You're confused, ain't me. You know what
- I'm saying? My guests know how I talk. I'm from Detroit. This might be a slightly different episode,
- but hey. That's what we need. Like I said, it's everyday people, man. But I ain't get too, pretty much
- I ain't get too much out of my parents. You know what I'm saying? They pretty much just said, this is,
- my biggest fear was going to hell.
- Okay. I'm just saying they pretty much say you got to do this. You got to believe in this or else you're
- going to hell. You know what I'm saying? So pretty much I felt fear into believing in religion because
- it's not spirituality yet. Bro, I love this episode. Let me tell you why because your story relates
- to more people than you know, right?
- You see, 100% and I love it, bro. I love it. Cause cause your, your story going to relate to way more
- people than my story. Cause I've, I've been chasing re you know, religion and spirituality and these
- kinds of aspects of life for so long that people feel like, well, that he talking about stuff. That's
- my sister say like sci-fi, you know, sci-fi science fiction, right? Nobody on that level with thinking, but
- Us having this conversation is going to be beautiful for anybody who watch it, bro, because this is
- where it all starts. Yeah, this is where it starts. It starts with the fear that your parents give you,
- society give you, of going to hell. It starts with the confusion. And this is a beautiful breakdown,
- bro. I'm loving it. And now you want to figure it out for yourself. If I saw the past 10 years,
- I was like, OK, let me figure this out for myself. And now it eventually evolved into,
- spiritual. You know what I'm saying? Yes, sir. Yeah, that's what we have with it. Yes, sir. So, I want
- to go back though. I want to go back because you mentioned uh you mean you I had a conversation with
- a preacher, right? About fourteen because I had so when I was when I was a young man, my mom used to
- send me. I grew up in Detroit. My mom used to send me to Evansville. Right. With my aunt. Right. She's
- deep into the church. I'm talking about like four or five times a week. You know, you know, they go
- to all of the
- you know, Bible study and choir practice. So you all, you know, you in that one four, five times a week.
- So in the summer, moms would send me down there. So, you know, I ain't in the hood with the cats with
- idle time, you know, idle time in the hood. You, you doing things, you know what I'm saying? What they
- say, that's the devil's playground. Right, right, right. So, so moms knew that. So she would send me
- out there with, you know, my auntie, the church lady, which I ain't mind, you know, so.
- She had a garden, we used to go down to the lake, so she liked nature like I did, so I was cool with
- it. And you know, she go to church so much, you finally listen to the man. What are you talking about,
- man? What you talking about? You know what I'm saying? You're the preacher, I always thought. What are
- you talking about? What are you talking about, right? You're going to listen. Finally, I'm going to
- listen. What are you talking about? Oh, okay, you talking about Jesus and flipping over tables.
- So Jesus sounded me like he understand my position as a black man in America and injustice and justice
- and balance and fairness and equality. So I'm like, I'm digging Jesus, bro. You know what I'm saying?
- So I'm digging Jesus. So the next year I go to, you know, I go every summer. Next year, I'm like, I'm
- getting baptized, bro. I got, I'm fired up. I want to get baptized. So I get baptized. But after I get
- baptized, I asked the preacher about some things that I'm reading in the Bible that didn't
- that didn't settle with me. And in this very beginning, and I couldn't remember what it was, but I'm
- so glad we have this conversation because I remember what it is now. In the very beginning of the Bible,
- it talks about in those days, there were giants in the land. Right. And this is like the very beginning
- of the book. Right. And you go ask about that and they don't they the preacher man ain't got many words
- for you. Right. And I got the same thing. You got half faith. Right. I didn't get half faith.
- Cause my, I kept, you know, kept pressing with questions. I'm 14, right? I'm older. I wasn't five.
- I was 14. So I'm like, whatever what I'm saying. He like, you know, you ain't supposed to question God.
- He turned it around. Like you said, yeah. So I understand exactly where that happened because it happened
- to me, bro. And that's what it do. It leads you on your own quest to know, bro. If God real,
- He got to know that I'm asking and I wonder and I, you know what I'm saying? It's not good, bro. It's
- not healthy. And it's, uh, it's sad because this is something I talk about about, like everybody in
- the West, you know, I study, I try to, you know, I ain't trying to be all flossy. I'm just saying, I'll
- be looking at, I've been looking at since I was about 17, what the hell happened to black people and
- what happened to, so it allows, it makes you look at a bigger picture scenario other than just your
- own. Right.
- and then you see the society, right? And when you see this, the West is taught that you are born sinners.
- All I'm talking about, damn near Europe, America, all these countries of the West, what they call the
- West and New York, all that kind of shit. All these motherfuckers are taught that they are born sinners.
- So you started out a piece of shit and you got to figure out how to get right, piece of shit. And that's
- a hell of a perspective to be born from, to have to fight from under,
- to understand that I'm really just not that, and then I have, you see what I'm saying? You got a long,
- it's a, they put a hell of a battle in the mind of the average person by doing that. That's what, I
- think you answered your question, because that's when I started doing my own research, you know, because
- that was my first class when I went to college, not to cut you off, just to interject. No, I love, you're
- the interviewee, I just wanted to share our likeness and story at 14 asking to preach to me. Right,
- because it went from 14 to me going through high school to me getting, you know, going to college, you
- know what I'm saying? My first class in college was,
- sociology, you know what I'm saying? And, um, that just blew my mind really because the bigger picture,
- it was a bigger picture. They, they dove into the church, you know, and that's what, when you say what
- happened to black people, as far as what I can see, it started with religion. You know what I'm saying?
- It's like religion has to go all the way back to slavery days, you know, my God, all the way back to
- slavery days. God.
- I love this conversation young man. How old are you young man? I just turned 40. God bless you. I appreciate
- your conversation because like I said, not only this conversation with us, I know this is what's going
- to be sparking you to talk to these younger cats about too because they need to understand this go all
- the way back to slavery. This is before us, your granddaddy, your great granddaddy. That's what I've
- been saying and this conversation gonna lead to all of this. This is God time right now.
- People don't see people, people don't understand it. What I call these conversations is to gather in
- his name and it's never guided by me. It's guided by what come out the conversation, the spirit and
- the energy of. Yes. And what you saying is, is, is, is, is shaking me inside, bro, because these are
- the conversations that I'd be wanting to have that I cannot generally have without somebody
- feeling like their toes can step down. But this shit go all the way back to slavery, bro. I'm talking
- about the division of the black family. I'm talking about the man-woman war that's going on to this
- very fucking day in the black community. The low consciousness in relation to the spiritual nature that
- we are born from, why they used to call us soul brother number one. You know what I'm saying?
- Look, you know what I'm saying? We were born from faith, bro. If you come from slavery, all you have
- is faith. All you got is faith that if I keep doing right and keep doing good and keep doing the right
- thing, then God got to bless me to get something better. Something better got to keep coming to me.
- That's how they get you. That's what I've got about to cut you off. But that's what I got out of that
- sociology class. It's like they'll promise you streets of gold. They'll promise you eternal life and
- everything. But right now, man, you got to work for me. You know what I'm saying?
- But after you don't work for me and after you've done giving me everything and being obedient, after
- you do everything I'm told you to do like you better do. And after you just die and then go and then
- that's when you'll be in the streets ago. And that's when you'll go back to glory. My goodness. You
- know what I'm saying? It was brother. It was a grand hustle. And and God knows it was wrong. And it's
- it's experience, in my opinion, is going to be
- one of the transformative links to this country's downfall, right? You can't use any level of spirituality
- or spiritual process in a foul way and not have it come back to you in a long, true form. So what I'm
- saying about that is like what they talk about karma.
- Right. Everything comes back. You can't do a thing. What you sow, you reap. All of this is real and
- true. Right. And so the history of this nation, the history of this country, the history of America
- is ingrained in the land. It's ingrained in the atmosphere. It's ingrained in the people. Right. Okay.
- And so you can't deny that justice must come to these people who have been so unjustly
- you know, treated, right? It's a proven reality, right? And so my thing is this, when people talk about
- God and spirituality and justice, and how is this fair for black Americans and did it did it did it?
- How does this relate to God, right? We got to look at things on a level of the individual soul to a
- degree, right? In my opinion, the reason I say that is because
- From the realm of what people talk about as spirit, we choose our life. So you chose to be black. I
- chose to be black. You understand what I'm saying? Explain it again. People say that as a soul, before
- you come to this earth, you choose your life. As a soul. Yes. That's what they say. You choose your
- life. You chose to be black. A black man. I chose to be black. A black man. And in the spirit realm,
- before we came here,
- We knew what we were getting into. And we said, I can take that shit. I'm going to do something with
- that shit. I'm going to show them some shit. I'm going to be that shit. I'm going to prove that. You
- see what I'm saying? Spirit round, we knew that. We got here, the matrix here. And now we got to navigate
- it. You see what I'm saying? And I'm going to tell you this, because I'm on my spiritual thing. But
- I'm going to tell you after me, I started with that perspective that I'm a black man. And so I have
- this dichotomy. And many black people in America have this
- mental uh challenge within themselves is my spirituality related to humanity as a species or
- is my spirituality and my gifts and my efforts related to my black people who have been done this way
- knowing how my people have been done right you understand what i'm saying you're right so that is that
- is a challenge right because ultimately the white man has
- been put in a hell of a position, too, in relation to being in that position, right? OK? So now, if
- we're talking about spiritually, they can say, well, I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I didn't do it.
- You can say that. But you know that the benefits and the societal expression from history to today is
- in your benefit. You inherited money. Your kids had cars at 16. You see what I'm saying?
- You could buy college funds. You know what I'm saying? This is due to certain inherent. And it ain't
- all of them. Of course, that's not all of them. So we've all been put into a social structure that I
- call the matrix that makes us go like this. You see what I'm saying? It makes us go like this. But I
- talked to my mom then, man. And I talked to the OGs and the old heads. And they said they was poor with
- the white people. And they was poor right with them. And they taught some of the white folks shit. And
- the white folks taught them shit. So you see what I'm saying?
- It's all of a social structuring that is meant to be a part of the matrix that you have to overcome
- in order to understand your own personal place in this game. Right. And it's a hell of a dichotomy,
- especially like I said, I was talking to somebody about the other day, you a black man. How the hell
- you just, you know, you can't, you can't just openly be for everybody. You've got to have some sense of
- mental protection in the way that your people have been treated you understand i'm saying right yeah
- we gotta treat each other better too like as far as that's like the black family that's i think that's
- the nucleus of everything and it got broken down you know and i can speak personally as far as my i've
- been trying to make
- Black family, you know what I'm saying, man? I'm catching hell, you know what I'm saying? Yes, sir.
- You know what I'm saying? I'm catching hell. And it's sad to say, man, but all of this shit was done
- to us. And that's the thing that is hard for me sometimes, because I see the things that we do, and
- the shit is negative, bro. Very negative. Yeah, I'm talking about the shit my brothers say, the shit
- my sisters say, the shit my brothers do, the shit my sisters do. Right. The kids are doing.
- how lost we are, how far from where we're supposed to be. It makes me wonder, do Mexicans do this? Do
- white people do this to each other? Do other races do this to each other? Let me tell you, something's
- been done to us, bro. Something's been done to us exclusively that's not been done to anyone else. And
- people say, oh, slavery happened to all of the people. You know what I'm saying? Slavery didn't happen
- to all the people the way it happened to us.
- If you was a German slave and there were German slaves, there were white slaves all throughout history,
- there was all different races of slaves, right? But hardly any of them, I don't believe that any of
- them on the earth were done as we were. You don't know where you're from. You don't know if you are
- African or you were born as a black person in this land. If you don't know your native roots are from
- here, because there is an argument that there were black people here when Christopher Columbus came here.
- They was already here and he said that he said it today. They got it in journals and shit like this
- This is already so are we really from here because all of our history is a lie, right? We know that
- that's what I'm saying. All of the things that you have to be Detached from your thinking once you start
- becoming conscious of shit, right? Cuz you realize oh damn they lied about that. That was a lie. This
- is a lie That's a lie. That's a lie
- You probably were. I think I was. This is what I'm saying. My family, they was doing like the lineage
- and all the hereditary trees and whatnot. But you know, the communication, I don't know. I can't even
- really speak too much on it, but that's the thing as far as communication be all crossed up a word,
- don't nobody know what's going on, you know what I'm saying? It was intended to be done to you, bro.
- Right. And this is the thing. Why would they say, so if you was from over here, why would they tell
- you from over there? The logic would be,
- because you can't never claim this land if you from over there. If you from Africa, then your land and
- your heritage is over there. You can't claim this land. But if you're from here and we tell you from
- over there, then you don't really know where the fuck you from. Because when you go over there, I've
- heard too many black people go to Africa, two different countries within the continent and say, them
- people ain't never heard this story about no large slave trade and motherfuckers getting
- called off type shit, right? You see what I'm saying? And then there are trades of black people coming
- from America, going to Spain, going to other places. So these motherfuckers then lied about history,
- bro. We don't even know that. And so we argue against each other. We fight about shit. And we don't,
- like I said,
- What our blood our community is disjointed bro. We think we Muslims we think we Christians we think
- we Jews we think we Hebrews we think these Indians Because we don't know what we are. We're the only
- people on the planet who are like that We adapt them near anything because there is no foundation or
- shit to it to link you tonight so iris slave can always after slavery and
- said, well, my people's heritage is this. This is what they used to eat. This is what they used to do.
- This is what they believe. This is what they thought. This is what they, yeah, they can just reassociate
- themselves and get some of that DNA and shit linked back into their fucking true heritage. They fucked
- us up. They fucked us up, brother. We don't know where we're from.
- especially with religion, just to go back to that. And then you dump the religion on top of it. And
- you hear it. We Muslim, we Jews, we Hebrews, we Christian, we this, we that, we everything. Because
- like you said, you dump the religion on it. But ultimately, the trick of that is that all of that shit
- comes from the deep African and ancient histories of spiritual reality. Spirituality is spiritual reality.
- just to pivot from that a little bit, just because that evolved from thinking from a religious standpoint
- to what feels right to me in my spirit. You know what I'm saying? What feels right? Because I ain't
- going to lie. I started reading the Bible. I feel like I'm not ignorant to the Bible. You know what
- I'm saying? I started because, like I say, when I was five years old, I kind of wanted to know more
- about it. So I went to a Bible vacation one time, and I started reading on my own.
- The more and more I read, the more it kind of turned me off to it, you know? Because it started sounding
- like Green Eggs and Ham and Dr. Seuss, you know what I'm saying? I started hearing about people living
- in wells, people living until they were 05 in the years old, people walking on water, trying to water
- in the wild. I started hearing about all types of shit. I'm like, hey, what's up with you? This is me
- talking. I'm like, I'm serious. I started looking like, hey.
- Genesis threw me off from the jump. You know what I'm saying? It took seven days, right? Let there be
- light. Pow! Then you go to school. I went to school too. They told me about the Big Bang Theory and
- stuff. They told me it was a hypothesis. They tested stuff and it was like boom boom. And they didn't
- say nothing about let there be light. Pow! It wasn't that. You know what I'm saying? So I always questioned
- the Bible. You know what I'm saying? And then I started looking like, and then you said, what happened
- to black people? You know what I'm saying?
- We, it might be this, you know what I'm saying? It might be this, you know what I'm saying? And then
- just like, we on some of that shit, you know what I'm saying? My favorite movie, follow me on this,
- my favorite movie back when I was little was Menace of Society, you know what I'm saying? Violent movie,
- everybody know that, but I think it was one part in the movie where Old Dog came outside and he was
- like, they came out to his, uh, King's grandparents' house and he was like,
- Black people got too much damn religion as it is. Remember that part? That part always sat with me when
- I was little. Because mind you, that came out when I was 93. I was in third grade, right? So I don't
- know how old I was back then. But this is all while I'm all just trying to grasp what is religion and
- what is this. But when he said that part, I'm like, black people got too much damn religion as it is.
- I'm like, you might have a point. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to say this. I don't disagree
- because ultimately what
- What you're talking about is what is most valuable. And that is your personal relationship. This is
- all personal to me. And that's what counts. The rest is just people talking shit. I don't give a fuck
- if they the Christians, they the Muslims, they the Jews. I don't give a fuck what you're talking about.
- If I don't have no personal interpersonal feeling and relation and connection to this shit and it's
- doing and moving and processing through me on some level.
- And I like growing up, I tried like I might. Dr. Seuss. So the spirituality is the living expression
- of these things. So let me tell you. So what religion means is religion. Right. Re aligning, you know,
- legion, God, whatever you realign with God. Right. But ultimately, the religions
- have in general been used to, as power tools, you know what I'm saying? As social power tools to do
- that, you know what I'm saying? Politics and shit. It's used to direct, you know what I'm saying? It's
- used to socially engineer society. Right. Yes. And that's when I started saying, hey man, this is deep.
- It's this control mechanism.
- a coping mechanism, too. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. So so all of this is a something that
- is probably argumentative for the whole fucking world to argue about. And that's in their time. But
- this conversation to me is telling me that ultimately. Yeah. Ultimately, it none of that because, bro,
- I'm tell you, I can see it. I was 14. I got baptized. I forced this group to baptize me. And
- Then at probably 17, I started looking at the Nation of Islam. And all of this is just like you said,
- our social engineering, our environment. You know what I mean? You start as a Christian because that's
- what you see. That's what you know. That's the only thing that your mama was. Ain't nobody too many
- people grew up with Muslim parents. I was such a follower back then because I didn't even know. I thought
- I was Baptist.
- You know what I'm saying? Because I've seen it all. But then I thought about it like, what? I never
- knew what Baptist means. Pentecostal, all that. I was like, I never knew what Baptist means.
- What are these? Right. But if somebody told me, I'm Baptist. But then I thought about it like, what
- am I saying? You know what I'm saying? Right. I only said that because that's what you heard. That's
- what I heard. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Grandmama said. That's what my mama said. And then I started
- calling myself a Christian at one point. Like, I'm just a Christian because I believe in Christ. You
- know what I'm saying? Right. But then after a while, after I started, like I said, after I started digging deep into
- you know, read more, it kind of just turned me all the way off to it. I ain't gonna lie. And just to
- fast forward to when I was older, like I ended up getting, you know, sick, you know what I mean? And
- I lost everything, you know what I'm saying? I dared to lost my life getting sick. And you know,
- once again, I ran to the Bible, you know what I'm saying? I'm 31 at this point, you know what I'm saying?
- And I'm really starting, the person I was with, she was,
- so deep into the church. She knew Bible verses, she knew everything. But she, shout out to her too,
- because like I said, I was sick and she took care of me and I really think she was an angel, you know
- what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? For real, she did her thing with me. But like I said, we
- reading the Bible and I got questions for her, the same questions I got for the preachers I got for
- her, you know what I'm saying? And she trying to break it down with me, you know what I'm saying? But
- I ain't gonna lie, it kind of just,
- turn me off to it, I ain't gonna lie. I'll just kind of just, at that point when I got sick, and then
- I started wondering like why every time I gotta get sick, why every time I go to, I ain't been to jail
- that many times, no shit, but if I was, God forbid, I'd get locked up or something, or something happened
- to me, that's when I'm going to the Bible, you know what I'm saying? That's when it's like, and that's
- why I say it's a coping mechanism, you know what I'm saying? Lord forbid, if a house gets shot up or
- something happened, people go straight to the Bible like hey, but if you party and stuff, you ain't
- thinking about the Bible.
- So let me tell you how I think spirituality works in relation to religion because I don't I Know that
- society in general and in black people and America and the world in general at this point is like fuck
- religion You know what I'm saying?
- That's to the point where I got to. Yeah, it's nothing wrong. To the point where I wanted, but I knew
- it was something like that. I was like, to the point I got to, like, I came a period, like, atheist
- at one point, like, I don't even want to hear about God. Like, you know, I got to that point, like,
- I don't want to hear it no more. I think that's part of the process, bro. Right. My dude who I interview,
- who's deeply spiritual now, went through the same process. He's still part of the atheist, uh,
- little phones, you know what I'm saying? All of that.
- it's part of the process because it's a personal relationship with God, right? And so one of the things
- that I think is valuable that is possible, like religion has its process to lead you. If you really,
- in my opinion, and I think most people who get to a certain point in their spiritual walk understand
- that religion has its place in the sense of
- leading you to understand something about God, right? Something about God, right? And then you start
- seeing things that you don't agree with, which generally leads you to search further, right? And so
- it is an avenue to open you up to recognizing that I have a spiritual relationship that is more than
- what the fuck this book is telling you. And so I have to go further. You see what I'm saying? And when
- you do that, you can look at it as a door opening, as an opening.
- But it I'm not gonna lie. It can also be quite a challenge especially from that Western perspective
- of the Christian thing telling you you're a born sinner That shit is extremely detrimental because your
- mind That's what the right come on dog How you gonna do that to somebody you man for they even get started
- bro Bro like How you can look at a baby and say you're
- Piece of shit. You just came out. I know you're a fucking evil piece of shit. Come on How you look at
- that baby and assume that's reality No, bro, somebody fucked up who said that y'all the whole world
- and accepted it, bro And that's a bad thing because how long does it take for you to come from under
- the religion first? You got to say You got to tell your mom and him. I don't really believe this shit.
- What you what?
- I'm saying it takes courage. It takes strength. It takes them. You know, I mean, right you got to be
- that if you're gonna really try to be that bro, because That's what you got one life and I got time
- to live enough alive with my one life. You know, I got one way I'm like, I'm gonna keep doing this like
- I told you I just turned 40 I'm gonna do this for the next 20 30 40 years of my life like playing charades
- for the world playing charades for the world ain't that what it seemed like it's doing I
- Like y'all know y'all fake is here. Y'all don't feel nothing. Y'all ain't get no direction. You don't
- know about no guidance. You don't know if you're really in line. You don't know nothing. You just doing
- what the fuck they said and keeping the show up and hoping that people say, well, he seems to be a good
- this, a good dad, a good Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu. But you know what I'm saying? You just playing
- the game. But there is an actual spiritual connection that people like this and people like me are having,
- bro, that you get because
- You're searching. And if what they say, I don't care. So like I said, all these little quotes in these
- different religions that say, you take one step toward God, he'll take two towards you. Right? Because
- that's another thing. You realize a lot of things in the Bible, it do well align with what you think
- in any way. You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm thinking. The Bible, it seemed to me like some
- natural stuff happened in the world. Like then somebody just get ate up by a whale last week. Right?
- I don't know what his name was. I don't think he was Jonah, but he definitely was eaten by a motherfucking
- whale. But the Bible tell that he was in there for 30 days, 30 nights.
- It was three days, but I got you right, right. Brother, I remember the first time I seen the moon turn
- red. I thought the world was gonna end. I thought the moon turned to blood. I bet that happened too,
- right? I think the whole Bible was stuff that probably happened, but they put a little extra sauce on
- there, right? Yes, sir. And this is the thing, man. I'm gonna tell you, I've had the... So like I said,
- I've had some of these experiences that I've read in these books, man, in these religious books, right?
- So I've lived as a Muslim. I've lived as a Christian. I've studied damn near
- probably six or seven religions deeply. And if I was to say anything seems to be most logical, it's
- some shit you probably ain't never heard. It's called the Baha'i. But anyway, ultimately, I don't claim
- no religion because it's just divisive at this time, right? It's just make motherfuckers divide each
- other. It's just motherfuckers, oh, you believe that? Because what they think is, they don't even know
- what people really believe in themselves, but if I know what your religion says about this,
- Or when your religious is about that, then I can say, oh, I don't fuck with them, because they believe
- this. I don't fuck with them, because they believe this. It's the vice of this. I don't talk about it.
- It's the vice. It's the voice of it. And this is a thing about spirituality and religion, because we
- kind of got off track. But this is good. It's beautiful. You was talking about, yeah, so one of the
- things that's good about spirituality and religion is that you can get from religion a measure of control
- for society.
- spirituality, it frees society up. It frees the individual up from society. And so if more people were
- doing spirituality, you wouldn't have the control on the society like you do. You know what I'm saying?
- I'd say exactly what you're saying. Yeah, because spirituality make you feel free. I lean more into
- spirituality. So I try to deprogram myself to like the rules and the fear and all everything,
- the manipulation and everything that comes with
- you know, the religion part is like, cause I was like, I want to believe there's something out there.
- You know what I'm saying? I don't like, as far as atheist, I mean, like, no, you don't believe in nothing.
- You don't say no, nothing. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to be that, you know, but I don't
- want to be lied to neither. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to, you know, seem like I'm heartless
- or like I'm in compassionate to people, but like I'm on my own personal spiritual thing, especially
- because like my, as personally, my health,
- Ain't the best, you know, and I've been going through things and that's when I was on my like my last
- leg at one point that's when I really dove into the Bible, but Like I say what I saw I didn't really
- I wasn't feeling it and like you say the spirituality is more how you feel and I needed to feel Connected
- to something, you know Coming from
- The religion science, you know. So let me tell you what they did to our people by doing what they did
- socially, engineering us through all of this bullshit that they did. You know, we have this perception
- that. All right, so I'll talk a minute. It's so much shit. It's almost too much to try to fucking explain,
- bro. I mean, it is it can be a daunting. Experience to perceive the reality of what's been done to black
- America to get them the way that they are.
- You understand what I'm saying? It's sometimes too much and it'll fucking just break you down into tears,
- bro, because your people won't hear you no more. They don't even want to listen no more because like
- the matrix is so real. That's more real than the spiritual shit you talking about, bro. See what I'm
- saying? And it's definitely real, too. And the spiritual thing is what we started from. This is our
- beginning nature. This is who we are, bro. This is who our connection is. And this is the only thing
- that, in my opinion, is going to save us now.
- You can, like you said, detach from their religions, right? If that's what you feel you must do, please,
- all of you, if you feel like you must detach from their religions, then do so necessarily. But don't
- detach from God. Don't detach from spirit. Don't detach from the reality that your experience is related
- to your internal self. Your internal self is your spiritual self. The fact that you have dreams, the
- fact that you wake up, you know what I mean? Come on, man. You can feel me staring at you across the street.
- What the fuck is that? We all connected in spirit one way or another, whether we understand it or not.
- And the trick in the trap is that our mind is so trapped in survival, bro. That's what they put on us.
- That's what that was the hardest thing that they put on us. Survival, survival, survival, survival,
- survival. So you can never imagine a future or a great reality of what the possibility of why you possibly
- here. You don't even get time to think of that.
- You know I'm saying being a black man in America you got time to be sitting around fantasy about no
- motherfucking vision about who you might want to be and that is the trick that is the ultimate trick
- because Just like the matrix the movie The goal is to keep you thinking that you can't do nothing that
- you you have no power You are literally now just the battery for another motherfuckers company But ultimately
- you go inside bro, and we got so many like you said you got to break down the program you said it
- You got to take the programming out. And that shit is a process. It hurt. You go through sadness,
- you cry, you feel shit. You feel a lot. You process a lot of fucking feelings going through that, bro.
- And ultimately, but it opens you up on shit where you feel more shit than the average cat. And when
- you do that, you understand that
- It's bigger than just you and you so so so it's so it's like this every month fuck I come in contact
- with I had this vision in my mind now that I'm like an orange or or a lemon like you walk by orange
- or a limit you can smell that mother God energy coming off me. That's my that's how I walk. That's my
- thinking right? So, you know I'm saying that's the programming you have to reprogram your mind to think
- what you think about yourself Versus what they told you to think about yourself and we have to that
- shit ain't gonna do a religion man. That got to do with you and God
- That's that cut all religions out and directly the spirit, bro. I'm talking to you. I don't what the
- fuck I'm doing here I don't know who I am out You sense and it got to go to that level and motherfuckers
- got to be comfortable saying I'm telling you where I had to go to that level I went to the level where
- I said I was ready to check out I was ready to hand full of pills or pop to put you know, pull out that
- thing. It's over. I'm out this month I've been there I've been there bro cry like a baby snot bubbles. I
- I was at the mosque and get in front of people ain't give a fuck. I'm right. You ever been in the mosque?
- You seen that? You seen Malcolm X? They pray shoulder to shoulder. I'm in that crowd. Right. I ain't
- come here for y'all. This for real. It's the real relationship.
- man, I'm gonna tell you, it's a miracle. A miracle happened. I swear to God, bro. I swear to God, a
- miracle happened. That happened, and bro, that happened in NAP, bro. That happened in NAP. It was. It
- was that. It was at that bottom. It was at the bottom. Mike Brown, what the fuck I'm doing here? I didn't
- do everything I thought I was supposed to do. I'm trying to do right, but let me tell you what black
- folks got to do first. Just be good.
- You got to just be good. Just got to be righteous and stop nickel slicking and let me rob him for $5
- and get this extra here and do the did you understand I'm saying the nickel slick nature that we've
- built up because we lived in poverty and under the bottom and been Scraping and scurrying and living
- at the bottom of the fucking underbelly of the beast. That's where we were raised from We are from the
- underbelly of the beast. So our mentality was hustle sneak, whatever the fuck I gotta do but ultimately
- When you realize you have spiritual nature, then you gotta do what's right, regardless of what the fuck.
- And then you gotta trust that your right is gonna lead to what's right. Sometimes it takes you through
- harder shit, but when you go through that harder shit, it's actually making you stronger in a spiritual
- aspect of yourself. I apply faith here, and it showed on the other side when I came through the other
- side. I applied, you know, some other spiritual aspect
- to this fucking problem versus saying, fuck that, I'm about to do this. You see what I'm saying? We
- can't keep resulting to fuck that I'm about to do this, because that's what the world say. But your
- spirit know that ain't what's right. You know it, motherfucker. And if you keep doing it, you ain't
- going to never be in a line to be able to hear no more, bro. That's what the fuck we got to do.
- Just do right, man. Just do right again. If we just do right again and do good, we know that. We don't
- need no books to tell us that.
- You know what good is, you know it right here. Treat your brother like you want to be treated. Treat
- your mother like you want to be treated. Treat that older woman like you want your mama to be treated.
- You understand what I'm saying? All of these things, if we just go back to the fucking basics of being
- good people, then we can harmonize with that again, and then you can listen to that God person in you.
- Because it's in there. It's in there. But we done covered it up with layers of I'm a gangster,
- I'm a pimp, I'm a thug, I'm a creep, I'm a blood, I'm a black stone, I'm a gangster this, I'm a dick.
- You see what I'm saying?
- All of these layers of bullshit. And what you said, we got to deprogram that shit. Right. It get to
- a point where I was like, do you think it better ever happen? I know it ain't going to happen while
- we alive. Yes, it's going to happen. Let me tell you how it's going to happen. It's going to happen
- while we alive. Me and you having a conversation right now. Let me tell you why it's going to happen
- while we alive. Because this got to spread. What we going to do, what is going to happen is we're going
- to teach the children.
- Right. That is the trick. Because generational courses is what you talking about. We got to like deprogram
- because this is dope. Like I said, this is before us. Oh, yes. It generates the kids. The break. The
- break is to teach the kids the highest shit we know. And let me tell you why it's going to work because
- they've already proven that a motherfucking baby now, not a baby baby, but I'm saying these youth, these
- very young children can learn four or five languages by the time they eight years old. Right. Yeah.
- If you can learn five languages by the time you're eight years old, you can learn science. You can learn
- spirituality. You can learn all of these plants as nature and medicine and food. You see what I'm saying?
- We forgot our environment. We forgot that we're human and part of the earth. So we got medicine in all
- of these plants. We ain't gotta go no doctor. We got food in all these plants. We got nutrients. We
- got health and all of these things that are right around us that we totally forgot about. But if we
- got people like Dr. Yaki, you know who Yaki is? We got people like Dr. Yaki.
- He know the herbs. It's another brother name, uh, what's his name? Uh, Katie, the arch degree, Dr. Sebi's
- people, right? He know the urge, teach it to the babies. They going to be doctors because they don't
- understand the human body because they've learned that part. You see what I'm saying? All you gotta
- do is take it through the first through the eighth grade, then babies to learn all of the systems of
- the human body by the eighth grade. They smart as a doctor. Then you didn't tell them the herbs. They
- know where herbs fit what system.
- By the time they 20 ain't no more ain't no more. He ain't no more need for doctors You see what I'm
- saying? We can change this shit based on what we believe But if they tell us niggas to do man niggas
- divided niggas that you I'm saying We can change shit by what we believe the matrix is fucking real,
- bro. That movie is real. You are fucking Leo, right? I'll say we can like that too, but it's just about
- to be doctors in the face Well, I'll say we take it back to the straight ground level like what you said
- teach people how, teach the kids to be just good people. You know what I'm saying? Like what you're
- saying, all the, don't, don't, don't these nickel, what you, what you call them? All of that, man. Yeah,
- hustling and what they call it, they call it, they got cool names for it. Shiesty, you know what I'm
- saying? Yeah, shiesty, you know what I'm saying? Swindlers, whatever, what that way? It's another word
- they got for it. Finesse, that's it. That's the cool word for,
- being off balance in your spirit. Finesse. Finesse. That's the cool word for that. Finesse the shit
- out there. Suck MC. That ain't cool, bro. That's not for you. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. If we don't
- get back to the basics of just being good, righteous hearted people, we ain't going to get where we
- supposed to go. So that is true. That is true. It's a choice. But that basic shit, just what you said,
- bro, if we don't start just being basically good again,
- You know what I'm saying? If you see an old lady struggling, help her, motherfucker. When you want a
- mother to help your grandmama, when you want a mother to help your mama, when you want, you see what
- I'm saying? Be that. Come on, dog. You be feeling it. You be feeling it in yourself. Sometimes you be
- walking by a mother and be like, man, I don't even talk to you. She's a lady, but this will make eye
- contact and say what's up to you, to my brother. Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know me. Man, I'm
- going to tell you, I'm from Detroit, bro, so I remember a whole fucking season
- I'm telling you, bro, I saw this shit fall apart. I saw the whole shit fall apart. I was born in 73.
- In 83, I was 10 years old. So I had a consciousness by then. You know what I'm saying? So I saw crack
- come. I saw the world in my community before crack. I saw the motherfucking world in my community after
- crack. So I've seen the down, the decline of our people. I've lived through it. And so, bro, yeah.
- It is a daunting task. It's a near impossible task, but it ain't impossible because it's not really
- your task. All you got to do is certain things. Like, like I was talking to my cat, like, you know,
- I, he was talking about how his different cats, we've got different roles in society and for our spirituality
- and life and shit like that. Like if a motherfucker put a hurdle in front of you, don't automatically
- mean he's stopping you or trying to stop you. He's saying,
- in the spiritual realm, I believe you can jump over this. Get your ass up over it. You're tougher than
- you believe. So you might see him in this world as an enemy. You understand what I'm saying? But when
- you overcome it, you'd be like, if that motherfucker never came along, I'd never be this motherfucker.
- You see? Yes. So these are the things that we got to remember when we do these things. So I'm going
- to be good instead of getting for that $200 because I know I need to get this rent. I'm going to trust
- that spirit.
- going to say, it's going to be another answer, bro. Don't robbing. Don't robbing. We got to trust that.
- Right. And so that ain't got nothing to do with religion. They got to do with you and God. Right. The
- great spirit, the mother, father spirit, whatever you want to call it. You can call it Jah, Allah, God,
- universe. You can call it whatever you want to call it. But it's your personal motherfucking relationship
- winning, bro. And I'm going to tell you why I know it's real, because you are individual.
- that has life in you, and that motherfucking life is here to be expressed just like the plants and the
- animals, bro. Everything shows in nature to reach its full potential. Do we reach our full potential?
- How many motherfuckers in the world we know didn't, dog? I say 95% of the fucking planet didn't reach
- their full potential, bro. Ain't that sad? Damn! Damn! I wanna reach mine, you know what I'm saying?
- I want this brother to reach his I want everybody that's alive in my time to hear my motherfucking voice
- To reach a full potential because I believe the shit that comes from that is part of the kingdom on
- earth, bro I feel like people as well. What is God's will on earth? And I know I'm talking a lot man,
- but I just feel like this is part of it Yeah, I Feel like people ask what is God's will on earth and
- God's will on earth is that every being reaches its full potential
- Society said, you're a piece of shit when you're born. So it makes it very hard for you to reach your
- full potential with that concept sitting in the back of your mind. Because even if your parents didn't
- teach you that, the overall ether in the atmosphere of America and the West is that we're all sinners
- from birth. That's the national religions of these societies in general. Yes. And that's a hell of a
- fight, bro.
- So yeah, we, you know, it's a hell of a perspective to start from this is, you know what I mean? But
- ultimately your goal is to reach a full potential. And so, like I said, me talking about all of these
- things and spirituality is because people need to understand that that is relevant, bro. And you don't,
- you got to have a personal relationship. You got to fill it in yourself and cry about it and say, dog,
- I know I'm here for a reason. I don't know what the fuck the reason is.
- You gonna either tell me or I ain't gonna figure it out. So you ask what happened, man. A homeless man
- walked up on me and said, you asked Allah while you were here. This is a homeless man asked you that?
- Walked up on me and said that. And he said, I've been looking for you for years. What did he say after that?
- Bro, it's a whole, man, that man hung out with me probably six to eight years straight up. Yes. Yeah.
- His name was Mr. Spinner. Okay. I got videos on here. I've talked about it on my other channel. Yeah.
- Yeah. So my shit was a miracle. Right. It was. And that's what I'm saying. It was crazy because yo,
- I prayed this shit. So, so we go to the mosque on Friday. I'm crying like a baby Friday one o'clock.
- And I'm working for this company that had played me. So like I said, I'm wearing a suit and tie in the
- hole now. Doing all of this shit, jump through the hoops, doing whatever you're supposed to do. And
- I'm not feeling like I'm winning in no kind of way. I'm losing, in fact. I feel fucked for the same
- life I want. You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, fuck this. Yeah, so after I cried and prayed instead
- of taking the pills,
- Like I said, in the prayer, I was like, man, I didn't ask to come here. I don't know what the fuck you
- wanted when you made me. I didn't make me. I don't know what the hell is going on. I don't, you know,
- I ain't digging this shit. You ain't gonna tell me why I'm here. Don't say shit about how I leave. You
- know what I'm saying? Don't say nothing about how I walk through this mother or how I leave. You not
- gonna tell me why I'm here. And that's what happened in them prayers. And then on Sunday night about,
- well, Sunday morning, I guess about two in the morning,
- Homeless man walked up on me in downtown Meridian across at this place called home with sweets. I was
- in front of it and homeless man walked up. I'm trying to sell me a watch and I had no money because
- that was one of the reasons I was in there crying because my finances was backwards. Everything was
- fucked up. I'm like, bro, I ain't got no money. I want to play you on the watch. He he and he had like
- a speech impediment to those part of talk kind of like a baby. But anyway,
- He trying to sell me to watch and it's a nice ass pocket watch on the chain. I still got it It's here.
- I'll show it to you one day. But anyway, hey, uh I'm like bro. That's a nice ass watch. I don't want
- to play you on the motherfucker It's worth more than what I got. He like bro. Just give me what you
- got type shit. I gave him $20 He give me to watch when I take the watch he like I'm honored to meet
- you. I'm honored to be in your present I've been looking for you for
- year for three years or six years. I've been looking for you some, you know, just, just start saying
- whole different shit. We talking about a watch next night to mom. I'm honored to be in your presence.
- I started calling me boss and all this shit. You know what I'm saying? And it was like, you know, uh,
- uh, you, you asked, you asked a lot while you was here and not there. I got like, like, you know what
- I'm saying? Like,
- Like I ain't said it's just like when he said and I'm looking at him like Like I'm just staring at him
- and he looking at me he like He said it's like you watching the movie, huh boss? Bro, I had to lean
- on the building like Like cuz it was when he said this shit. I was so fucking tripping. It was like
- this is a movie
- And he fucking said out his mouth, bro. He said like watching a movie help off. Oh shit Lay on the building
- about to fall down For real, bro. That's what happened to me and it was this is because it was sincere,
- bro I didn't ask to come here. I hate this matrix, bro. I hate this whole setup I hate the
- whole motherfucking setup so I feel like if I'm here and you got me in this fucked-up ass matrix that
- I call You know America that we live in
- The only reason you can have me here is to change. I'm here to change. Ain't no motherfucking way I'm
- supposed to fit into this shit nowhere. I'm not supposed to assimilate because integration has been
- proven to be assimilation. It didn't solve a fucking thing for us. It created worse problems for us.
- Okay, the difference between integration and assimilation. Assimilation is
- I need to act like white people. I need to act like a white male in order to be accepted in this society.
- I need to tone down my energy. I need to shave my beard. I need to, you understand what I'm saying?
- And that shit causes cognitive dissonance and I will not accept it. I will not. I'll fucking die a broke
- poor man. If I have to accept the matrix in order to fucking be who I am in this world, I will not do that.
- I had to go to God, bro. You're gonna have to tell me what's up, because I ain't eating that shit. I'm
- not eating that shit, bro. I can't do that shit. You know what I'm saying? You're gonna have to give
- me some real, real shit, because I'm not eating this shit, homie. This is not the pie that I came for
- this motherfucker to have, man. This is not the cake I want. And you're gonna have to tell me why I'm
- here, or we're gonna have a problem. And people say, oh, he's so talking so disrespectful about God.
- No, bro. It's the level of reality that my life was at my story Like I'm even playing like I've had
- experiences like what I just told you that miracle that motherfucker Walked up on me and said that's
- a miracle to me, bro. That's a fucking miracle
- Happened in my life, but I'm gonna tell you this day bro when I pray 80% of the time I am praying for
- even a better connection. That's all I asked for I could look dog I don't care about these religions.
- I care about my connection to you Talk, let me if mother you talk somebody in this book You talk to
- any of you mother in this book what I gotta do to get talked to you, too I want to talk to I want to
- know I want to hear I want to I'm tired of playing blues clues figuring out what God talking to me about
- I need to feel it sir I need to feel it and know that it's you and not be confused because now how I
- make my decisions, bro I might pray on some shit. I might meditate on some shit and then after I've
- made a decision about it I don't have I'm honestly this is for years. I don't have no wondering about
- did I make the right decision? That shit is rare now, you know, I'm saying like after you make a decision
- you be like
- Yeah, sir. Don't make that decision unless you gonna stand on it. Yeah, sure. Message to that story.
- You know what I mean? Yeah. But that is the base, bro. Our people just gotta be right again, bro. Just
- and and and I understand how we got like that. You ain't got shit. You live in the the underbelly of
- the belly of the beast, baby. Right. Shit. What's the if we if we come from that, what's the sense of
- still chopping each other down? We supposed to be building with one another. Yes, sir. You know what
- I'm saying? So, I'll fill you on that.
- Yeah, sure. And that's where it's going to start. Because see, see, this is what we talk about. We talk
- about spirituality. So there is a voice inside to tell motherfuckers, right, wrong, good, bad dude.
- I believe we born with that. You know how to do, right? You know what I'm saying? That's basic ground
- level. You know what I'm saying? I believe you born knowing what to do, right? You know what I'm saying?
- This is in order what you choose to do. And you feel when you do wrong, right?
- You feel it inside, you know. That's what I realized like going back to the Ten Commandments. That was
- like some base level like stuff that you're supposed to know already, balance out now still. Of course,
- we that man stuff alone. So let me tell you where I've heard this argument. We talk about the black
- community. I've heard this argument. We never needed the Ten Commandments. We had that. We knew that.
- That's our nature. We are the soul people. Soul brother number one, all of that. We knew that.
- The other people who were controlling us who enslaved us needed that book because they did not know
- how to act you mainly You see what I'm saying? I said that shit basic But inhumane motherfucker What
- that Bible card they say it's called basic instruction before leaving earth You need some more water
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are we good? You're good. We're gonna do this all live on camera. Good.
- Good. But yeah, that's real talk. So, all of these are conversations that I've been having since I was
- a young man, bro. 17 years old. Right. And you know, God know that when a man really looking for his
- his connection to him, it don't matter where he come through. You know what I'm saying? He looking for
- me and if he really looking for me, God know that that inside
- That's true. You see what I'm saying? So it don't matter what the world see or believe or think or how
- you get there or what approach you take. In fact, fuck them. Because all they out there is doing, the
- whole world is outside of you damn near as a projection to judge you so you can have strength to prove
- your real connection to God. What you really believe in. What they talk about or what your connection
- is to what he told you. And that's what I'm saying. And that's what I'm saying. When I say told you,
- it's what you feel.
- When you ask about some shit and you get an answer that's inside, and you say, man, I got this, you
- know what I'm saying? And you go talk to a motherfucker outside of your friend, a family, a mama,
- a girl, and they don't vibe with it. And they don't vibe with it. That's where it comes in. That's where
- the real challenge of your relationship with God comes in. Because is your relationship with your girl
- more important? You gonna accommodate her?
- You're gonna accommodate your mama. I'm gonna accommodate big homie You know I'm saying whoever you
- see I'm saying or is you gonna you already know what God told you but they said And now you adjust this
- shit You adjust this shit because you already know what God said But you wouldn't talk to a motherfucker
- instead of just eating it using that energy and moving forward You wouldn't ask another motherfucker
- who God didn't talk to
- Who God ain't directing in your life, your path is your path. It ain't they motherfucking path. So they
- might not have no energy toward the shit you talking about. And now you're like, damn, should I do that?
- When God had already told you, but you went and took it to a motherfucker. You want to analyze it and
- do two plus two. Well, if this happens and that happens and this happens and that happens, well, let
- me not do that. And that's where we lose, bro. And it's because we can't trust that voice inside because
- who we being.
- That's why I say it start with just being good again. Because if you're not going to be good again,
- you can't trust that voice. Because that nigga like, get that nigga. Know what I'm saying? That nigga
- don't know. You know what I'm saying? You getting that voice. The bad guys still get that voice. You
- understand what I'm saying? The righteous, that's the very beginning. So that's what I'm talking about.
- That voice, right? Listening to that voice. So if your voice still telling you. All right. Well, then
- you understand where you're at.
- But then the other voices tell you, hey man, you know that you, hey bro, hey. And so that's the thing.
- You got them voices, man. And it's who you listen to. And your mama wanted the voices. You know what
- I'm saying? All these outside voices. But you know what your internal self's saying. Now, if you're
- willing to walk right on that, then don't expect nothing to step forward towards you. That's what I
- say. So you gotta take one step toward him and take two towards you. Now, the thing, I'm sorry, and
- I know I'm going overboard.
- The matter of how you hear God, that's the question, right? How do you know he fucking talking to you?
- You asked the question. Now you sitting in the universe waiting on an answer from God. How the fuck
- you gonna know that's true? How you know that's him? Ain't that ain't that important? Is that important
- to talk about? But that's the thing when I'm talking about like when my belief started being like, like
- when you talk like what I got to get him to the point like what God, you know what I'm saying?
- Where is my weight? No, you know from and from who you know says like I got to that point It's like
- I ain't even sitting there waiting on those sides. No words like I'm You know just go off. I don't know
- you don't sound rough. That's what I'm searching for. You know, this is what I'm for the tip the reason
- that we're having this conversation is because How like like I said, this is for cats who ain't never
- stepped into spirituality almost
- Right cats this so so me and your conversation is gonna hit other motherfuckers in a different way,
- right? so First you got to stop being a bad guy, right? They'll get out proud of your crimes proud of
- the negative So so the question after that is okay. All right now I'm gonna just be good and
- Then that mean trust God, right? Where the fuck is God? Who is God? We ain't talking about no religion.
- We ain't talking about none of that. You can name what you want to. That's why I say you can call him
- universe. You can call him mother God. You can call him father God. You can call him great spirit. That's
- what the Indian motherfuckers call him. You know what I'm saying? You can call him universe. You can
- call it the divine matrix. You can call it whatever the fuck you want to call it. But know that there
- is a power that decided for you to be in existence. Do you believe that's true? You in existence. How
- you get here?
- If you, if you're willing to believe that except that, right. Then you got to be able to understand
- that this motherfucker can hear you somehow or, or interact with you somehow. Right. And so what is
- a prayer? What is the meditation? What is these kinds of things that motherfuckers talk about praying
- and hearing God's voice and listening and all of this shit. So it's really not hearing all the always
- sometime it is here, but how can you hear at, I'm going to tell you, this is a test. Please, everyone
- try this motherfucker at home.
- Please try this out. Like they say, please don't try this at home. Please try this at home, okay? This
- is a test. That's how you test God. They say test the spirit. If you really want to know how to test
- God, go alone. Go away from everybody where you know ain't a motherfucker heard a thing you thinking
- or saying or crying or whatever you got going on in you this deep, right? It's some deep shit. Everybody
- got some deep shit. We ain't figured it out. We want to, your mama didn't do right. Something to cry
- about. Something that's that level deep.
- That's all I'm saying to take it to the deepest level you can take it to. Cause you're going to get
- an answer that will convince you of what the fuck is true about God and his existence and how he can't
- interact with you. Get the deepest shit you can think of and go pray about it. Go pray about it.
- Get alone. So the emotions move so you can cry damn near about it. It hurts so deep, whatever. You know
- what I'm saying? Bring that shit all the way up. Take that issue and say, if you re-approve yourself to me,
- Right? Prove yourself to me. Talk to me. Share with me. Show with me. Give me some proof. Right? Ask.
- Ask. Ask. But then don't be a dumb ass. You've asked the question of an unseen force that is in the
- universe. And God will use any and everything in the universe to talk to you. Now you have to trust
- what is happening inside. I've asked God a question of the universe. I asked a question to the universe.
- God, whoever the fuck it is, he, she, blah, blah, blah.
- Right names names or whatever fuck right? I've asked the only way I'm gonna really be able to get an
- answer is to be listening Now I have to be listening and looking so you kind of got to turn other shit
- down You can't just go do everything that you used to do now You see what I'm saying? You got it. Yeah,
- that's what it is You can't just keep fucking moving around doing everything that you used to do You
- kind of you know anything that ain't necessary don't do just chill the fuck out and wait on that answer
- to a degree Not saying don't do your life, but you understand what I'm saying
- Let's not go party. Let's not go freak with the girl. Let's not go, you know what I'm saying? Get drunk.
- You see what I'm saying? Shut the fuck up and listen for this answer and just wait. Yeah, exactly. 100,
- right? And when you do, remember you listening, right? And God will hit your ass with an answer. It's
- going to come through the radio. It's going to come through the TV. It's going to come when you go over
- your homeboy house. You're going to step in the door. Motherfucking TV going to say blah, blah, blah,
- blah, blah. And your spirit going to be like me. And you're going to be like, damn, is that guy?
- Was that, that mother just asked the question I've been asking. You gonna walk by my mother in the grocery
- store, hear two people talking, they gonna say it. You see what I'm saying? That's how it happens. God
- will use any and everything in the universe to give you that answer, but you gotta be listening for
- it. And when it come, don't look at it as coincidence. If you look at it as coincidence, you off the
- fucking path, you right back in the matrix. You ask the question, that nigga gave you an answer. Okay,
- he gave you an answer. You walked by, you heard it.
- Don't nobody in the universe know that you thinking about this thing cuz you asked it you see nothing
- Now you wanted to it in the radio you run to it in the mother mother stole you run to it over you boy
- How just some random movement in life you hear that answer, right? Trust that is God Okay, trust that
- is spirit trust that is universe trust that is divine may trust that is your answer Move on it Move
- on it. Yes, sir. And if you move on it
- another thing gonna happen that's gonna let you know, oh shit, oh shit. God bless, this was a valuable
- conversation. That is exactly how, yes. Then you realize, damn, I am on the right path. Some shit happening
- here. So yes, it's real. And that's what you've experienced, right?
- I'm experiencing it currently right now. You know, it's like that's why I'm over here. It's like this
- ain't no accident Yeah, you know having this conversation, you know, I feel like I'm on my current,
- uh, you know spiritual past Like currently right now, you know, you know, you know, and it's a struggle.
- You know, I'm saying it's like Right this way they call faith coming, right? You know, I say all this
- shit is religious terminology because that's how we understand it, right? I gotta do with no religion
- But this is where faith come in. You know, you're doing right. Right. That's all you know. I'm doing
- right. Yeah. Every fucking day and just listen for the signs and wait. So this is my theory about like
- how motherfuckers like Freud and Einstein and Tesla became great minds, bro. They didn't have all the
- distractions. They could sit with just that back in the day. They had TVs, cars, radios. You know what
- I'm saying? These motherfuckers back in the time was just horses and
- quiet times and shit, you know what I'm saying? So they could use their mind way more differently than
- we do. We constantly, especially black folks, we're constantly trying to survive. So you never, you
- hardly ever get to think deep, you know what I'm saying? Deep, deep philosophical perspectives that
- might be of how the world really set up. You know what I'm saying? That shit is rare. And so I've had
- that opportunity, but
- You know, that shit was at a cost. I ain't get no money. I'm broke. You know what I'm saying? I'm a
- poor man like everybody else now. You know what I'm saying? But that ain't really a concern for me.
- I don't really consider myself poor. I feel like it's just a redirection of attention. That's how we
- program. Can't eat no books, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't eat no books. Exactly, exactly, exactly. So
- one of the things that I'm on is to prove to the world that watch my spirituality bring financial abundance.
- That's what I'm finna prove because no, I'm not finna I'm not eating your matrix, but I'm not going
- into your matrix to do shit to get the money out No, I'm going to live walking this spiritual shit and
- I'm approved I'm a pull that shit in anyway, right? Yeah, I'm saying that's a proof. That's a that's
- a task of my spiritual walk You see what I'm saying? That is one of my motherfucking tasks cuz I ain't
- I can't go the other way. You know I'm saying
- And that's where I'm at now too is like, I'm trying to free my mind, break the shackles of, you know,
- just what I've been accustomed to, you know, because it wasn't working for me. And now I'm at the point
- now in my life, like I need to do what's working for me.