Welcome back to My Spiritual Experience with your host, Brother Sadiq. Today we have in the house our
special guest, Brian Williams, also known as Be Nasty. What's going on, man? What's happening, brother?
Nothing much, man. Appreciate you inviting me on your platform, man. I appreciate it, man. I'm glad
to have you. As you know, and this is what I say every time I have a guest, it's very much an honor
for me to have guests and people brave enough and confident enough to talk about their spiritual experience.
As you know, this entire show is about the everyday man and his experiences with spirituality and how
it relates to him and how it relates to all of us. My idea is that the more we talk about these things,
the more we bring them out of the closet, the less we fear them. Fear seems to be a big theme in these
times, and I think us sharing these types of things will make us more amicable to our spiritual selves.
This is my effort, and today we have, like I said, our special guest, Be Nasty in the house. Hey man,
I like how you worded that, man. We do need to start more dialogue, and I couldn't wait to get this
off my chest, really. I'm just happy to be here so I can just share what I've been going through. I
know everybody go through what they go through, but for the past couple of 10 years, I've been trying
to dive deeper into spirituality.
We can do it, man. Very, very, very good. This is sounding like a good intro to what we're about to
do here. And what I do generally in all of my conversations about spirituality is ask the brothers and
the sisters, what was your first experience recognizing that something is going on outside of what they
told you that everyday life is? What was your first spiritual experience? Well, my first spiritual experience
I guess I'll start off by saying I wasn't never, I wasn't really raised in a church like that per se.
Like we did kind of what everybody, I don't want to say everybody, I don't know what everybody else
did, but you know, I probably went to church say out of the six months, I probably went to church probably
like once or twice, like every six months, probably Easter. But I'll say my first experience with like
religion and spirituality, I guess it was like, I remember I went to church, it was like Easter.
It was an Easter Sunday. I don't know what year it was, but you know, I always I just start off by saying
I was always kind of just skeptical about everything. It was just the first thing I saw was a big white
Jesus on on the window at the church, you know, so that's the like the first
thing I can remember was, who is this guy? And I think I asked somebody, like, who is it? They was like,
that's Jesus. I'm like, that's Jesus? You know what I'm saying? That was my first, that was my first,
I was like, that's Jesus? I was like, I'm in the middle of the hood too, you know what I'm saying?
I was like, I think I was in East Chicago, you know what I'm saying? I was born in Maryville, Maryville,
Gary, and Northwest Indiana, you know what I'm saying? But I think the church was in East Chicago, I believe.
I was always kind of just skeptical from that point. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's I
don't mean to cut you, but that is not at all uncommon for a child. Right. And the youth in our community.
You know what I mean? Like you said, that's him. Right. When you when you know, I've been hearing about
this for years.
And that's who everybody prays to, too, you know what I'm saying? So I kind of just had to take a step
back. And then I'm watching everybody hoop and holler. You know what I'm saying? I'm watching the preacher.
When I went down, I was like, what the? What's going on? You know what I'm saying? I don't want you.
I'm sorry. I don't want you. Oh, what's up, man? That had to be my first time. OK.
Five years old? This is what I can remember. This is my first. This is what I can remember. Yeah, five
years old. Around that time. Okay. That makes it up. You know, everybody buys suits. I'm like, I ain't
had a suit all year. I'm like, what, what is this event? What is this event about? Right. And then I
remember you want to talk about spirituality. You know, so I, you know, that was the first time I seen
somebody catch the Holy Ghost. That day? Yeah. Okay. You know, I see,
I ain't know what it was, you know? Of course. I said it was this older lady, and I'm sitting there
and all I heard was, ah! She jumped up, crying, screaming, ah! And she get to speaking in tongues. I
didn't know what tongues was. All I heard was, you know? Right, right, right, right. I don't want to
mimic that. Yeah, of course, of course. You're like, you five years old, it's just babbling at that
point. That's what I'm thinking, you know what I'm saying? And she running.
So it sounds like it sounds like your whole initial experience with, we're going to say religion, religion,
religion. That's not spirituality. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. We agree. Yeah. Your first encounter with
religion was a little shocking. Very. Like, who is this dude? What is she doing?
Why are we dressed like this? Yeah, I get you, I get you. I couldn't put it together. It's confusing.
Very confusing. Yeah, and so did you, did you, what was the explanation from, so I ain't, I'm not saying,
you know, we five year old, we may not have the wherewithal to go and question our mom or our dad and
say, what is this? No. What is this about? I have a lot of questions. So you did ask? I asked everybody
I could ask. I love it, I love it because that's, when you see this cat who they say is Jesus, that
should be the natural instinct. But you know,
Wondering question that should be natural like Detective God bless you young man. Go ahead. Let's hear
what I'm sorry. I'm sorry Tell us the story sir, you asked you asked mom you asked dad who you asked
Okay, but I can't remember I remember I asked a preacher I asked a preacher one time, you know, I
And the preacher pretty much told me this was what I got out of him. Okay. Have faith. Didn't cut it
for me. What was the question? The question was this was after I had to be I was much older after this
when I really started asking questions. So I guess he's asking me when I asked when I was little or
when I kind of let's let's stay with the mom there first because that's your first shocking experience.
Right. And then what did they give you for
that energy like you had, you fucked up, obviously. I'm sorry. You're confused, ain't me. You know what
I'm saying? My guests know how I talk. I'm from Detroit. This might be a slightly different episode,
but hey. That's what we need. Like I said, it's everyday people, man. But I ain't get too, pretty much
I ain't get too much out of my parents. You know what I'm saying? They pretty much just said, this is,
my biggest fear was going to hell.
Okay. I'm just saying they pretty much say you got to do this. You got to believe in this or else you're
going to hell. You know what I'm saying? So pretty much I felt fear into believing in religion because
it's not spirituality yet. Bro, I love this episode. Let me tell you why because your story relates
to more people than you know, right?
You see, 100% and I love it, bro. I love it. Cause cause your, your story going to relate to way more
people than my story. Cause I've, I've been chasing re you know, religion and spirituality and these
kinds of aspects of life for so long that people feel like, well, that he talking about stuff. That's
my sister say like sci-fi, you know, sci-fi science fiction, right? Nobody on that level with thinking, but
Us having this conversation is going to be beautiful for anybody who watch it, bro, because this is
where it all starts. Yeah, this is where it starts. It starts with the fear that your parents give you,
society give you, of going to hell. It starts with the confusion. And this is a beautiful breakdown,
bro. I'm loving it. And now you want to figure it out for yourself. If I saw the past 10 years,
I was like, OK, let me figure this out for myself. And now it eventually evolved into,
spiritual. You know what I'm saying? Yes, sir. Yeah, that's what we have with it. Yes, sir. So, I want
to go back though. I want to go back because you mentioned uh you mean you I had a conversation with
a preacher, right? About fourteen because I had so when I was when I was a young man, my mom used to
send me. I grew up in Detroit. My mom used to send me to Evansville. Right. With my aunt. Right. She's
deep into the church. I'm talking about like four or five times a week. You know, you know, they go
to all of the
you know, Bible study and choir practice. So you all, you know, you in that one four, five times a week.
So in the summer, moms would send me down there. So, you know, I ain't in the hood with the cats with
idle time, you know, idle time in the hood. You, you doing things, you know what I'm saying? What they
say, that's the devil's playground. Right, right, right. So, so moms knew that. So she would send me
out there with, you know, my auntie, the church lady, which I ain't mind, you know, so.
She had a garden, we used to go down to the lake, so she liked nature like I did, so I was cool with
it. And you know, she go to church so much, you finally listen to the man. What are you talking about,
man? What you talking about? You know what I'm saying? You're the preacher, I always thought. What are
you talking about? What are you talking about, right? You're going to listen. Finally, I'm going to
listen. What are you talking about? Oh, okay, you talking about Jesus and flipping over tables.
So Jesus sounded me like he understand my position as a black man in America and injustice and justice
and balance and fairness and equality. So I'm like, I'm digging Jesus, bro. You know what I'm saying?
So I'm digging Jesus. So the next year I go to, you know, I go every summer. Next year, I'm like, I'm
getting baptized, bro. I got, I'm fired up. I want to get baptized. So I get baptized. But after I get
baptized, I asked the preacher about some things that I'm reading in the Bible that didn't
that didn't settle with me. And in this very beginning, and I couldn't remember what it was, but I'm
so glad we have this conversation because I remember what it is now. In the very beginning of the Bible,
it talks about in those days, there were giants in the land. Right. And this is like the very beginning
of the book. Right. And you go ask about that and they don't they the preacher man ain't got many words
for you. Right. And I got the same thing. You got half faith. Right. I didn't get half faith.
Cause my, I kept, you know, kept pressing with questions. I'm 14, right? I'm older. I wasn't five.
I was 14. So I'm like, whatever what I'm saying. He like, you know, you ain't supposed to question God.
He turned it around. Like you said, yeah. So I understand exactly where that happened because it happened
to me, bro. And that's what it do. It leads you on your own quest to know, bro. If God real,
He got to know that I'm asking and I wonder and I, you know what I'm saying? It's not good, bro. It's
not healthy. And it's, uh, it's sad because this is something I talk about about, like everybody in
the West, you know, I study, I try to, you know, I ain't trying to be all flossy. I'm just saying, I'll
be looking at, I've been looking at since I was about 17, what the hell happened to black people and
what happened to, so it allows, it makes you look at a bigger picture scenario other than just your
own. Right.
and then you see the society, right? And when you see this, the West is taught that you are born sinners.
All I'm talking about, damn near Europe, America, all these countries of the West, what they call the
West and New York, all that kind of shit. All these motherfuckers are taught that they are born sinners.
So you started out a piece of shit and you got to figure out how to get right, piece of shit. And that's
a hell of a perspective to be born from, to have to fight from under,
to understand that I'm really just not that, and then I have, you see what I'm saying? You got a long,
it's a, they put a hell of a battle in the mind of the average person by doing that. That's what, I
think you answered your question, because that's when I started doing my own research, you know, because
that was my first class when I went to college, not to cut you off, just to interject. No, I love, you're
the interviewee, I just wanted to share our likeness and story at 14 asking to preach to me. Right,
because it went from 14 to me going through high school to me getting, you know, going to college, you
know what I'm saying? My first class in college was,
sociology, you know what I'm saying? And, um, that just blew my mind really because the bigger picture,
it was a bigger picture. They, they dove into the church, you know, and that's what, when you say what
happened to black people, as far as what I can see, it started with religion. You know what I'm saying?
It's like religion has to go all the way back to slavery days, you know, my God, all the way back to
slavery days. God.
I love this conversation young man. How old are you young man? I just turned 40. God bless you. I appreciate
your conversation because like I said, not only this conversation with us, I know this is what's going
to be sparking you to talk to these younger cats about too because they need to understand this go all
the way back to slavery. This is before us, your granddaddy, your great granddaddy. That's what I've
been saying and this conversation gonna lead to all of this. This is God time right now.
People don't see people, people don't understand it. What I call these conversations is to gather in
his name and it's never guided by me. It's guided by what come out the conversation, the spirit and
the energy of. Yes. And what you saying is, is, is, is, is shaking me inside, bro, because these are
the conversations that I'd be wanting to have that I cannot generally have without somebody
feeling like their toes can step down. But this shit go all the way back to slavery, bro. I'm talking
about the division of the black family. I'm talking about the man-woman war that's going on to this
very fucking day in the black community. The low consciousness in relation to the spiritual nature that
we are born from, why they used to call us soul brother number one. You know what I'm saying?
Look, you know what I'm saying? We were born from faith, bro. If you come from slavery, all you have
is faith. All you got is faith that if I keep doing right and keep doing good and keep doing the right
thing, then God got to bless me to get something better. Something better got to keep coming to me.
That's how they get you. That's what I've got about to cut you off. But that's what I got out of that
sociology class. It's like they'll promise you streets of gold. They'll promise you eternal life and
everything. But right now, man, you got to work for me. You know what I'm saying?
But after you don't work for me and after you've done giving me everything and being obedient, after
you do everything I'm told you to do like you better do. And after you just die and then go and then
that's when you'll be in the streets ago. And that's when you'll go back to glory. My goodness. You
know what I'm saying? It was brother. It was a grand hustle. And and God knows it was wrong. And it's
it's experience, in my opinion, is going to be
one of the transformative links to this country's downfall, right? You can't use any level of spirituality
or spiritual process in a foul way and not have it come back to you in a long, true form. So what I'm
saying about that is like what they talk about karma.
Right. Everything comes back. You can't do a thing. What you sow, you reap. All of this is real and
true. Right. And so the history of this nation, the history of this country, the history of America
is ingrained in the land. It's ingrained in the atmosphere. It's ingrained in the people. Right. Okay.
And so you can't deny that justice must come to these people who have been so unjustly
you know, treated, right? It's a proven reality, right? And so my thing is this, when people talk about
God and spirituality and justice, and how is this fair for black Americans and did it did it did it?
How does this relate to God, right? We got to look at things on a level of the individual soul to a
degree, right? In my opinion, the reason I say that is because
From the realm of what people talk about as spirit, we choose our life. So you chose to be black. I
chose to be black. You understand what I'm saying? Explain it again. People say that as a soul, before
you come to this earth, you choose your life. As a soul. Yes. That's what they say. You choose your
life. You chose to be black. A black man. I chose to be black. A black man. And in the spirit realm,
before we came here,
We knew what we were getting into. And we said, I can take that shit. I'm going to do something with
that shit. I'm going to show them some shit. I'm going to be that shit. I'm going to prove that. You
see what I'm saying? Spirit round, we knew that. We got here, the matrix here. And now we got to navigate
it. You see what I'm saying? And I'm going to tell you this, because I'm on my spiritual thing. But
I'm going to tell you after me, I started with that perspective that I'm a black man. And so I have
this dichotomy. And many black people in America have this
mental uh challenge within themselves is my spirituality related to humanity as a species or
is my spirituality and my gifts and my efforts related to my black people who have been done this way
knowing how my people have been done right you understand what i'm saying you're right so that is that
is a challenge right because ultimately the white man has
been put in a hell of a position, too, in relation to being in that position, right? OK? So now, if
we're talking about spiritually, they can say, well, I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I didn't do it.
You can say that. But you know that the benefits and the societal expression from history to today is
in your benefit. You inherited money. Your kids had cars at 16. You see what I'm saying?
You could buy college funds. You know what I'm saying? This is due to certain inherent. And it ain't
all of them. Of course, that's not all of them. So we've all been put into a social structure that I
call the matrix that makes us go like this. You see what I'm saying? It makes us go like this. But I
talked to my mom then, man. And I talked to the OGs and the old heads. And they said they was poor with
the white people. And they was poor right with them. And they taught some of the white folks shit. And
the white folks taught them shit. So you see what I'm saying?
It's all of a social structuring that is meant to be a part of the matrix that you have to overcome
in order to understand your own personal place in this game. Right. And it's a hell of a dichotomy,
especially like I said, I was talking to somebody about the other day, you a black man. How the hell
you just, you know, you can't, you can't just openly be for everybody. You've got to have some sense of
mental protection in the way that your people have been treated you understand i'm saying right yeah
we gotta treat each other better too like as far as that's like the black family that's i think that's
the nucleus of everything and it got broken down you know and i can speak personally as far as my i've
been trying to make
Black family, you know what I'm saying, man? I'm catching hell, you know what I'm saying? Yes, sir.
You know what I'm saying? I'm catching hell. And it's sad to say, man, but all of this shit was done
to us. And that's the thing that is hard for me sometimes, because I see the things that we do, and
the shit is negative, bro. Very negative. Yeah, I'm talking about the shit my brothers say, the shit
my sisters say, the shit my brothers do, the shit my sisters do. Right. The kids are doing.
how lost we are, how far from where we're supposed to be. It makes me wonder, do Mexicans do this? Do
white people do this to each other? Do other races do this to each other? Let me tell you, something's
been done to us, bro. Something's been done to us exclusively that's not been done to anyone else. And
people say, oh, slavery happened to all of the people. You know what I'm saying? Slavery didn't happen
to all the people the way it happened to us.
If you was a German slave and there were German slaves, there were white slaves all throughout history,
there was all different races of slaves, right? But hardly any of them, I don't believe that any of
them on the earth were done as we were. You don't know where you're from. You don't know if you are
African or you were born as a black person in this land. If you don't know your native roots are from
here, because there is an argument that there were black people here when Christopher Columbus came here.
They was already here and he said that he said it today. They got it in journals and shit like this
This is already so are we really from here because all of our history is a lie, right? We know that
that's what I'm saying. All of the things that you have to be Detached from your thinking once you start
becoming conscious of shit, right? Cuz you realize oh damn they lied about that. That was a lie. This
is a lie That's a lie. That's a lie
You probably were. I think I was. This is what I'm saying. My family, they was doing like the lineage
and all the hereditary trees and whatnot. But you know, the communication, I don't know. I can't even
really speak too much on it, but that's the thing as far as communication be all crossed up a word,
don't nobody know what's going on, you know what I'm saying? It was intended to be done to you, bro.
Right. And this is the thing. Why would they say, so if you was from over here, why would they tell
you from over there? The logic would be,
because you can't never claim this land if you from over there. If you from Africa, then your land and
your heritage is over there. You can't claim this land. But if you're from here and we tell you from
over there, then you don't really know where the fuck you from. Because when you go over there, I've
heard too many black people go to Africa, two different countries within the continent and say, them
people ain't never heard this story about no large slave trade and motherfuckers getting
called off type shit, right? You see what I'm saying? And then there are trades of black people coming
from America, going to Spain, going to other places. So these motherfuckers then lied about history,
bro. We don't even know that. And so we argue against each other. We fight about shit. And we don't,
like I said,
What our blood our community is disjointed bro. We think we Muslims we think we Christians we think
we Jews we think we Hebrews we think these Indians Because we don't know what we are. We're the only
people on the planet who are like that We adapt them near anything because there is no foundation or
shit to it to link you tonight so iris slave can always after slavery and
said, well, my people's heritage is this. This is what they used to eat. This is what they used to do.
This is what they believe. This is what they thought. This is what they, yeah, they can just reassociate
themselves and get some of that DNA and shit linked back into their fucking true heritage. They fucked
us up. They fucked us up, brother. We don't know where we're from.
especially with religion, just to go back to that. And then you dump the religion on top of it. And
you hear it. We Muslim, we Jews, we Hebrews, we Christian, we this, we that, we everything. Because
like you said, you dump the religion on it. But ultimately, the trick of that is that all of that shit
comes from the deep African and ancient histories of spiritual reality. Spirituality is spiritual reality.
just to pivot from that a little bit, just because that evolved from thinking from a religious standpoint
to what feels right to me in my spirit. You know what I'm saying? What feels right? Because I ain't
going to lie. I started reading the Bible. I feel like I'm not ignorant to the Bible. You know what
I'm saying? I started because, like I say, when I was five years old, I kind of wanted to know more
about it. So I went to a Bible vacation one time, and I started reading on my own.
The more and more I read, the more it kind of turned me off to it, you know? Because it started sounding
like Green Eggs and Ham and Dr. Seuss, you know what I'm saying? I started hearing about people living
in wells, people living until they were 05 in the years old, people walking on water, trying to water
in the wild. I started hearing about all types of shit. I'm like, hey, what's up with you? This is me
talking. I'm like, I'm serious. I started looking like, hey.
Genesis threw me off from the jump. You know what I'm saying? It took seven days, right? Let there be
light. Pow! Then you go to school. I went to school too. They told me about the Big Bang Theory and
stuff. They told me it was a hypothesis. They tested stuff and it was like boom boom. And they didn't
say nothing about let there be light. Pow! It wasn't that. You know what I'm saying? So I always questioned
the Bible. You know what I'm saying? And then I started looking like, and then you said, what happened
to black people? You know what I'm saying?
We, it might be this, you know what I'm saying? It might be this, you know what I'm saying? And then
just like, we on some of that shit, you know what I'm saying? My favorite movie, follow me on this,
my favorite movie back when I was little was Menace of Society, you know what I'm saying? Violent movie,
everybody know that, but I think it was one part in the movie where Old Dog came outside and he was
like, they came out to his, uh, King's grandparents' house and he was like,
Black people got too much damn religion as it is. Remember that part? That part always sat with me when
I was little. Because mind you, that came out when I was 93. I was in third grade, right? So I don't
know how old I was back then. But this is all while I'm all just trying to grasp what is religion and
what is this. But when he said that part, I'm like, black people got too much damn religion as it is.
I'm like, you might have a point. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to say this. I don't disagree
because ultimately what
What you're talking about is what is most valuable. And that is your personal relationship. This is
all personal to me. And that's what counts. The rest is just people talking shit. I don't give a fuck
if they the Christians, they the Muslims, they the Jews. I don't give a fuck what you're talking about.
If I don't have no personal interpersonal feeling and relation and connection to this shit and it's
doing and moving and processing through me on some level.
And I like growing up, I tried like I might. Dr. Seuss. So the spirituality is the living expression
of these things. So let me tell you. So what religion means is religion. Right. Re aligning, you know,
legion, God, whatever you realign with God. Right. But ultimately, the religions
have in general been used to, as power tools, you know what I'm saying? As social power tools to do
that, you know what I'm saying? Politics and shit. It's used to direct, you know what I'm saying? It's
used to socially engineer society. Right. Yes. And that's when I started saying, hey man, this is deep.
It's this control mechanism.
a coping mechanism, too. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. So so all of this is a something that
is probably argumentative for the whole fucking world to argue about. And that's in their time. But
this conversation to me is telling me that ultimately. Yeah. Ultimately, it none of that because, bro,
I'm tell you, I can see it. I was 14. I got baptized. I forced this group to baptize me. And
Then at probably 17, I started looking at the Nation of Islam. And all of this is just like you said,
our social engineering, our environment. You know what I mean? You start as a Christian because that's
what you see. That's what you know. That's the only thing that your mama was. Ain't nobody too many
people grew up with Muslim parents. I was such a follower back then because I didn't even know. I thought
I was Baptist.
You know what I'm saying? Because I've seen it all. But then I thought about it like, what? I never
knew what Baptist means. Pentecostal, all that. I was like, I never knew what Baptist means.
What are these? Right. But if somebody told me, I'm Baptist. But then I thought about it like, what
am I saying? You know what I'm saying? Right. I only said that because that's what you heard. That's
what I heard. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Grandmama said. That's what my mama said. And then I started
calling myself a Christian at one point. Like, I'm just a Christian because I believe in Christ. You
know what I'm saying? Right. But then after a while, after I started, like I said, after I started digging deep into
you know, read more, it kind of just turned me all the way off to it. I ain't gonna lie. And just to
fast forward to when I was older, like I ended up getting, you know, sick, you know what I mean? And
I lost everything, you know what I'm saying? I dared to lost my life getting sick. And you know,
once again, I ran to the Bible, you know what I'm saying? I'm 31 at this point, you know what I'm saying?
And I'm really starting, the person I was with, she was,
so deep into the church. She knew Bible verses, she knew everything. But she, shout out to her too,
because like I said, I was sick and she took care of me and I really think she was an angel, you know
what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? For real, she did her thing with me. But like I said, we
reading the Bible and I got questions for her, the same questions I got for the preachers I got for
her, you know what I'm saying? And she trying to break it down with me, you know what I'm saying? But
I ain't gonna lie, it kind of just,
turn me off to it, I ain't gonna lie. I'll just kind of just, at that point when I got sick, and then
I started wondering like why every time I gotta get sick, why every time I go to, I ain't been to jail
that many times, no shit, but if I was, God forbid, I'd get locked up or something, or something happened
to me, that's when I'm going to the Bible, you know what I'm saying? That's when it's like, and that's
why I say it's a coping mechanism, you know what I'm saying? Lord forbid, if a house gets shot up or
something happened, people go straight to the Bible like hey, but if you party and stuff, you ain't
thinking about the Bible.
So let me tell you how I think spirituality works in relation to religion because I don't I Know that
society in general and in black people and America and the world in general at this point is like fuck
religion You know what I'm saying?
That's to the point where I got to. Yeah, it's nothing wrong. To the point where I wanted, but I knew
it was something like that. I was like, to the point I got to, like, I came a period, like, atheist
at one point, like, I don't even want to hear about God. Like, you know, I got to that point, like,
I don't want to hear it no more. I think that's part of the process, bro. Right. My dude who I interview,
who's deeply spiritual now, went through the same process. He's still part of the atheist, uh,
little phones, you know what I'm saying? All of that.
it's part of the process because it's a personal relationship with God, right? And so one of the things
that I think is valuable that is possible, like religion has its process to lead you. If you really,
in my opinion, and I think most people who get to a certain point in their spiritual walk understand
that religion has its place in the sense of
leading you to understand something about God, right? Something about God, right? And then you start
seeing things that you don't agree with, which generally leads you to search further, right? And so
it is an avenue to open you up to recognizing that I have a spiritual relationship that is more than
what the fuck this book is telling you. And so I have to go further. You see what I'm saying? And when
you do that, you can look at it as a door opening, as an opening.
But it I'm not gonna lie. It can also be quite a challenge especially from that Western perspective
of the Christian thing telling you you're a born sinner That shit is extremely detrimental because your
mind That's what the right come on dog How you gonna do that to somebody you man for they even get started
bro Bro like How you can look at a baby and say you're
Piece of shit. You just came out. I know you're a fucking evil piece of shit. Come on How you look at
that baby and assume that's reality No, bro, somebody fucked up who said that y'all the whole world
and accepted it, bro And that's a bad thing because how long does it take for you to come from under
the religion first? You got to say You got to tell your mom and him. I don't really believe this shit.
What you what?
I'm saying it takes courage. It takes strength. It takes them. You know, I mean, right you got to be
that if you're gonna really try to be that bro, because That's what you got one life and I got time
to live enough alive with my one life. You know, I got one way I'm like, I'm gonna keep doing this like
I told you I just turned 40 I'm gonna do this for the next 20 30 40 years of my life like playing charades
for the world playing charades for the world ain't that what it seemed like it's doing I
Like y'all know y'all fake is here. Y'all don't feel nothing. Y'all ain't get no direction. You don't
know about no guidance. You don't know if you're really in line. You don't know nothing. You just doing
what the fuck they said and keeping the show up and hoping that people say, well, he seems to be a good
this, a good dad, a good Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu. But you know what I'm saying? You just playing
the game. But there is an actual spiritual connection that people like this and people like me are having,
bro, that you get because
You're searching. And if what they say, I don't care. So like I said, all these little quotes in these
different religions that say, you take one step toward God, he'll take two towards you. Right? Because
that's another thing. You realize a lot of things in the Bible, it do well align with what you think
in any way. You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm thinking. The Bible, it seemed to me like some
natural stuff happened in the world. Like then somebody just get ate up by a whale last week. Right?
I don't know what his name was. I don't think he was Jonah, but he definitely was eaten by a motherfucking
whale. But the Bible tell that he was in there for 30 days, 30 nights.
It was three days, but I got you right, right. Brother, I remember the first time I seen the moon turn
red. I thought the world was gonna end. I thought the moon turned to blood. I bet that happened too,
right? I think the whole Bible was stuff that probably happened, but they put a little extra sauce on
there, right? Yes, sir. And this is the thing, man. I'm gonna tell you, I've had the... So like I said,
I've had some of these experiences that I've read in these books, man, in these religious books, right?
So I've lived as a Muslim. I've lived as a Christian. I've studied damn near
probably six or seven religions deeply. And if I was to say anything seems to be most logical, it's
some shit you probably ain't never heard. It's called the Baha'i. But anyway, ultimately, I don't claim
no religion because it's just divisive at this time, right? It's just make motherfuckers divide each
other. It's just motherfuckers, oh, you believe that? Because what they think is, they don't even know
what people really believe in themselves, but if I know what your religion says about this,
Or when your religious is about that, then I can say, oh, I don't fuck with them, because they believe
this. I don't fuck with them, because they believe this. It's the vice of this. I don't talk about it.
It's the vice. It's the voice of it. And this is a thing about spirituality and religion, because we
kind of got off track. But this is good. It's beautiful. You was talking about, yeah, so one of the
things that's good about spirituality and religion is that you can get from religion a measure of control
for society.
spirituality, it frees society up. It frees the individual up from society. And so if more people were
doing spirituality, you wouldn't have the control on the society like you do. You know what I'm saying?
I'd say exactly what you're saying. Yeah, because spirituality make you feel free. I lean more into
spirituality. So I try to deprogram myself to like the rules and the fear and all everything,
the manipulation and everything that comes with
you know, the religion part is like, cause I was like, I want to believe there's something out there.
You know what I'm saying? I don't like, as far as atheist, I mean, like, no, you don't believe in nothing.
You don't say no, nothing. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to be that, you know, but I don't
want to be lied to neither. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to, you know, seem like I'm heartless
or like I'm in compassionate to people, but like I'm on my own personal spiritual thing, especially
because like my, as personally, my health,
Ain't the best, you know, and I've been going through things and that's when I was on my like my last
leg at one point that's when I really dove into the Bible, but Like I say what I saw I didn't really
I wasn't feeling it and like you say the spirituality is more how you feel and I needed to feel Connected
to something, you know Coming from
The religion science, you know. So let me tell you what they did to our people by doing what they did
socially, engineering us through all of this bullshit that they did. You know, we have this perception
that. All right, so I'll talk a minute. It's so much shit. It's almost too much to try to fucking explain,
bro. I mean, it is it can be a daunting. Experience to perceive the reality of what's been done to black
America to get them the way that they are.
You understand what I'm saying? It's sometimes too much and it'll fucking just break you down into tears,
bro, because your people won't hear you no more. They don't even want to listen no more because like
the matrix is so real. That's more real than the spiritual shit you talking about, bro. See what I'm
saying? And it's definitely real, too. And the spiritual thing is what we started from. This is our
beginning nature. This is who we are, bro. This is who our connection is. And this is the only thing
that, in my opinion, is going to save us now.
You can, like you said, detach from their religions, right? If that's what you feel you must do, please,
all of you, if you feel like you must detach from their religions, then do so necessarily. But don't
detach from God. Don't detach from spirit. Don't detach from the reality that your experience is related
to your internal self. Your internal self is your spiritual self. The fact that you have dreams, the
fact that you wake up, you know what I mean? Come on, man. You can feel me staring at you across the street.
What the fuck is that? We all connected in spirit one way or another, whether we understand it or not.
And the trick in the trap is that our mind is so trapped in survival, bro. That's what they put on us.
That's what that was the hardest thing that they put on us. Survival, survival, survival, survival,
survival. So you can never imagine a future or a great reality of what the possibility of why you possibly
here. You don't even get time to think of that.
You know I'm saying being a black man in America you got time to be sitting around fantasy about no
motherfucking vision about who you might want to be and that is the trick that is the ultimate trick
because Just like the matrix the movie The goal is to keep you thinking that you can't do nothing that
you you have no power You are literally now just the battery for another motherfuckers company But ultimately
you go inside bro, and we got so many like you said you got to break down the program you said it
You got to take the programming out. And that shit is a process. It hurt. You go through sadness,
you cry, you feel shit. You feel a lot. You process a lot of fucking feelings going through that, bro.
And ultimately, but it opens you up on shit where you feel more shit than the average cat. And when
you do that, you understand that
It's bigger than just you and you so so so it's so it's like this every month fuck I come in contact
with I had this vision in my mind now that I'm like an orange or or a lemon like you walk by orange
or a limit you can smell that mother God energy coming off me. That's my that's how I walk. That's my
thinking right? So, you know I'm saying that's the programming you have to reprogram your mind to think
what you think about yourself Versus what they told you to think about yourself and we have to that
shit ain't gonna do a religion man. That got to do with you and God
That's that cut all religions out and directly the spirit, bro. I'm talking to you. I don't what the
fuck I'm doing here I don't know who I am out You sense and it got to go to that level and motherfuckers
got to be comfortable saying I'm telling you where I had to go to that level I went to the level where
I said I was ready to check out I was ready to hand full of pills or pop to put you know, pull out that
thing. It's over. I'm out this month I've been there I've been there bro cry like a baby snot bubbles. I
I was at the mosque and get in front of people ain't give a fuck. I'm right. You ever been in the mosque?
You seen that? You seen Malcolm X? They pray shoulder to shoulder. I'm in that crowd. Right. I ain't
come here for y'all. This for real. It's the real relationship.
man, I'm gonna tell you, it's a miracle. A miracle happened. I swear to God, bro. I swear to God, a
miracle happened. That happened, and bro, that happened in NAP, bro. That happened in NAP. It was. It
was that. It was at that bottom. It was at the bottom. Mike Brown, what the fuck I'm doing here? I didn't
do everything I thought I was supposed to do. I'm trying to do right, but let me tell you what black
folks got to do first. Just be good.
You got to just be good. Just got to be righteous and stop nickel slicking and let me rob him for $5
and get this extra here and do the did you understand I'm saying the nickel slick nature that we've
built up because we lived in poverty and under the bottom and been Scraping and scurrying and living
at the bottom of the fucking underbelly of the beast. That's where we were raised from We are from the
underbelly of the beast. So our mentality was hustle sneak, whatever the fuck I gotta do but ultimately
When you realize you have spiritual nature, then you gotta do what's right, regardless of what the fuck.
And then you gotta trust that your right is gonna lead to what's right. Sometimes it takes you through
harder shit, but when you go through that harder shit, it's actually making you stronger in a spiritual
aspect of yourself. I apply faith here, and it showed on the other side when I came through the other
side. I applied, you know, some other spiritual aspect
to this fucking problem versus saying, fuck that, I'm about to do this. You see what I'm saying? We
can't keep resulting to fuck that I'm about to do this, because that's what the world say. But your
spirit know that ain't what's right. You know it, motherfucker. And if you keep doing it, you ain't
going to never be in a line to be able to hear no more, bro. That's what the fuck we got to do.
Just do right, man. Just do right again. If we just do right again and do good, we know that. We don't
need no books to tell us that.
You know what good is, you know it right here. Treat your brother like you want to be treated. Treat
your mother like you want to be treated. Treat that older woman like you want your mama to be treated.
You understand what I'm saying? All of these things, if we just go back to the fucking basics of being
good people, then we can harmonize with that again, and then you can listen to that God person in you.
Because it's in there. It's in there. But we done covered it up with layers of I'm a gangster,
I'm a pimp, I'm a thug, I'm a creep, I'm a blood, I'm a black stone, I'm a gangster this, I'm a dick.
You see what I'm saying?
All of these layers of bullshit. And what you said, we got to deprogram that shit. Right. It get to
a point where I was like, do you think it better ever happen? I know it ain't going to happen while
we alive. Yes, it's going to happen. Let me tell you how it's going to happen. It's going to happen
while we alive. Me and you having a conversation right now. Let me tell you why it's going to happen
while we alive. Because this got to spread. What we going to do, what is going to happen is we're going
to teach the children.
Right. That is the trick. Because generational courses is what you talking about. We got to like deprogram
because this is dope. Like I said, this is before us. Oh, yes. It generates the kids. The break. The
break is to teach the kids the highest shit we know. And let me tell you why it's going to work because
they've already proven that a motherfucking baby now, not a baby baby, but I'm saying these youth, these
very young children can learn four or five languages by the time they eight years old. Right. Yeah.
If you can learn five languages by the time you're eight years old, you can learn science. You can learn
spirituality. You can learn all of these plants as nature and medicine and food. You see what I'm saying?
We forgot our environment. We forgot that we're human and part of the earth. So we got medicine in all
of these plants. We ain't gotta go no doctor. We got food in all these plants. We got nutrients. We
got health and all of these things that are right around us that we totally forgot about. But if we
got people like Dr. Yaki, you know who Yaki is? We got people like Dr. Yaki.
He know the herbs. It's another brother name, uh, what's his name? Uh, Katie, the arch degree, Dr. Sebi's
people, right? He know the urge, teach it to the babies. They going to be doctors because they don't
understand the human body because they've learned that part. You see what I'm saying? All you gotta
do is take it through the first through the eighth grade, then babies to learn all of the systems of
the human body by the eighth grade. They smart as a doctor. Then you didn't tell them the herbs. They
know where herbs fit what system.
By the time they 20 ain't no more ain't no more. He ain't no more need for doctors You see what I'm
saying? We can change this shit based on what we believe But if they tell us niggas to do man niggas
divided niggas that you I'm saying We can change shit by what we believe the matrix is fucking real,
bro. That movie is real. You are fucking Leo, right? I'll say we can like that too, but it's just about
to be doctors in the face Well, I'll say we take it back to the straight ground level like what you said
teach people how, teach the kids to be just good people. You know what I'm saying? Like what you're
saying, all the, don't, don't, don't these nickel, what you, what you call them? All of that, man. Yeah,
hustling and what they call it, they call it, they got cool names for it. Shiesty, you know what I'm
saying? Yeah, shiesty, you know what I'm saying? Swindlers, whatever, what that way? It's another word
they got for it. Finesse, that's it. That's the cool word for,
being off balance in your spirit. Finesse. Finesse. That's the cool word for that. Finesse the shit
out there. Suck MC. That ain't cool, bro. That's not for you. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. If we don't
get back to the basics of just being good, righteous hearted people, we ain't going to get where we
supposed to go. So that is true. That is true. It's a choice. But that basic shit, just what you said,
bro, if we don't start just being basically good again,
You know what I'm saying? If you see an old lady struggling, help her, motherfucker. When you want a
mother to help your grandmama, when you want a mother to help your mama, when you want, you see what
I'm saying? Be that. Come on, dog. You be feeling it. You be feeling it in yourself. Sometimes you be
walking by a mother and be like, man, I don't even talk to you. She's a lady, but this will make eye
contact and say what's up to you, to my brother. Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know me. Man, I'm
going to tell you, I'm from Detroit, bro, so I remember a whole fucking season
I'm telling you, bro, I saw this shit fall apart. I saw the whole shit fall apart. I was born in 73.
In 83, I was 10 years old. So I had a consciousness by then. You know what I'm saying? So I saw crack
come. I saw the world in my community before crack. I saw the motherfucking world in my community after
crack. So I've seen the down, the decline of our people. I've lived through it. And so, bro, yeah.
It is a daunting task. It's a near impossible task, but it ain't impossible because it's not really
your task. All you got to do is certain things. Like, like I was talking to my cat, like, you know,
I, he was talking about how his different cats, we've got different roles in society and for our spirituality
and life and shit like that. Like if a motherfucker put a hurdle in front of you, don't automatically
mean he's stopping you or trying to stop you. He's saying,
in the spiritual realm, I believe you can jump over this. Get your ass up over it. You're tougher than
you believe. So you might see him in this world as an enemy. You understand what I'm saying? But when
you overcome it, you'd be like, if that motherfucker never came along, I'd never be this motherfucker.
You see? Yes. So these are the things that we got to remember when we do these things. So I'm going
to be good instead of getting for that $200 because I know I need to get this rent. I'm going to trust
that spirit.
going to say, it's going to be another answer, bro. Don't robbing. Don't robbing. We got to trust that.
Right. And so that ain't got nothing to do with religion. They got to do with you and God. Right. The
great spirit, the mother, father spirit, whatever you want to call it. You can call it Jah, Allah, God,
universe. You can call it whatever you want to call it. But it's your personal motherfucking relationship
winning, bro. And I'm going to tell you why I know it's real, because you are individual.
that has life in you, and that motherfucking life is here to be expressed just like the plants and the
animals, bro. Everything shows in nature to reach its full potential. Do we reach our full potential?
How many motherfuckers in the world we know didn't, dog? I say 95% of the fucking planet didn't reach
their full potential, bro. Ain't that sad? Damn! Damn! I wanna reach mine, you know what I'm saying?
I want this brother to reach his I want everybody that's alive in my time to hear my motherfucking voice
To reach a full potential because I believe the shit that comes from that is part of the kingdom on
earth, bro I feel like people as well. What is God's will on earth? And I know I'm talking a lot man,
but I just feel like this is part of it Yeah, I Feel like people ask what is God's will on earth and
God's will on earth is that every being reaches its full potential
Society said, you're a piece of shit when you're born. So it makes it very hard for you to reach your
full potential with that concept sitting in the back of your mind. Because even if your parents didn't
teach you that, the overall ether in the atmosphere of America and the West is that we're all sinners
from birth. That's the national religions of these societies in general. Yes. And that's a hell of a
fight, bro.
So yeah, we, you know, it's a hell of a perspective to start from this is, you know what I mean? But
ultimately your goal is to reach a full potential. And so, like I said, me talking about all of these
things and spirituality is because people need to understand that that is relevant, bro. And you don't,
you got to have a personal relationship. You got to fill it in yourself and cry about it and say, dog,
I know I'm here for a reason. I don't know what the fuck the reason is.
You gonna either tell me or I ain't gonna figure it out. So you ask what happened, man. A homeless man
walked up on me and said, you asked Allah while you were here. This is a homeless man asked you that?
Walked up on me and said that. And he said, I've been looking for you for years. What did he say after that?
Bro, it's a whole, man, that man hung out with me probably six to eight years straight up. Yes. Yeah.
His name was Mr. Spinner. Okay. I got videos on here. I've talked about it on my other channel. Yeah.
Yeah. So my shit was a miracle. Right. It was. And that's what I'm saying. It was crazy because yo,
I prayed this shit. So, so we go to the mosque on Friday. I'm crying like a baby Friday one o'clock.
And I'm working for this company that had played me. So like I said, I'm wearing a suit and tie in the
hole now. Doing all of this shit, jump through the hoops, doing whatever you're supposed to do. And
I'm not feeling like I'm winning in no kind of way. I'm losing, in fact. I feel fucked for the same
life I want. You know what I'm saying? So I'm like, fuck this. Yeah, so after I cried and prayed instead
of taking the pills,
Like I said, in the prayer, I was like, man, I didn't ask to come here. I don't know what the fuck you
wanted when you made me. I didn't make me. I don't know what the hell is going on. I don't, you know,
I ain't digging this shit. You ain't gonna tell me why I'm here. Don't say shit about how I leave. You
know what I'm saying? Don't say nothing about how I walk through this mother or how I leave. You not
gonna tell me why I'm here. And that's what happened in them prayers. And then on Sunday night about,
well, Sunday morning, I guess about two in the morning,
Homeless man walked up on me in downtown Meridian across at this place called home with sweets. I was
in front of it and homeless man walked up. I'm trying to sell me a watch and I had no money because
that was one of the reasons I was in there crying because my finances was backwards. Everything was
fucked up. I'm like, bro, I ain't got no money. I want to play you on the watch. He he and he had like
a speech impediment to those part of talk kind of like a baby. But anyway,
He trying to sell me to watch and it's a nice ass pocket watch on the chain. I still got it It's here.
I'll show it to you one day. But anyway, hey, uh I'm like bro. That's a nice ass watch. I don't want
to play you on the motherfucker It's worth more than what I got. He like bro. Just give me what you
got type shit. I gave him $20 He give me to watch when I take the watch he like I'm honored to meet
you. I'm honored to be in your present I've been looking for you for
year for three years or six years. I've been looking for you some, you know, just, just start saying
whole different shit. We talking about a watch next night to mom. I'm honored to be in your presence.
I started calling me boss and all this shit. You know what I'm saying? And it was like, you know, uh,
uh, you, you asked, you asked a lot while you was here and not there. I got like, like, you know what
I'm saying? Like,
Like I ain't said it's just like when he said and I'm looking at him like Like I'm just staring at him
and he looking at me he like He said it's like you watching the movie, huh boss? Bro, I had to lean
on the building like Like cuz it was when he said this shit. I was so fucking tripping. It was like
this is a movie
And he fucking said out his mouth, bro. He said like watching a movie help off. Oh shit Lay on the building
about to fall down For real, bro. That's what happened to me and it was this is because it was sincere,
bro I didn't ask to come here. I hate this matrix, bro. I hate this whole setup I hate the
whole motherfucking setup so I feel like if I'm here and you got me in this fucked-up ass matrix that
I call You know America that we live in
The only reason you can have me here is to change. I'm here to change. Ain't no motherfucking way I'm
supposed to fit into this shit nowhere. I'm not supposed to assimilate because integration has been
proven to be assimilation. It didn't solve a fucking thing for us. It created worse problems for us.
Okay, the difference between integration and assimilation. Assimilation is
I need to act like white people. I need to act like a white male in order to be accepted in this society.
I need to tone down my energy. I need to shave my beard. I need to, you understand what I'm saying?
And that shit causes cognitive dissonance and I will not accept it. I will not. I'll fucking die a broke
poor man. If I have to accept the matrix in order to fucking be who I am in this world, I will not do that.
I had to go to God, bro. You're gonna have to tell me what's up, because I ain't eating that shit. I'm
not eating that shit, bro. I can't do that shit. You know what I'm saying? You're gonna have to give
me some real, real shit, because I'm not eating this shit, homie. This is not the pie that I came for
this motherfucker to have, man. This is not the cake I want. And you're gonna have to tell me why I'm
here, or we're gonna have a problem. And people say, oh, he's so talking so disrespectful about God.
No, bro. It's the level of reality that my life was at my story Like I'm even playing like I've had
experiences like what I just told you that miracle that motherfucker Walked up on me and said that's
a miracle to me, bro. That's a fucking miracle
Happened in my life, but I'm gonna tell you this day bro when I pray 80% of the time I am praying for
even a better connection. That's all I asked for I could look dog I don't care about these religions.
I care about my connection to you Talk, let me if mother you talk somebody in this book You talk to
any of you mother in this book what I gotta do to get talked to you, too I want to talk to I want to
know I want to hear I want to I'm tired of playing blues clues figuring out what God talking to me about
I need to feel it sir I need to feel it and know that it's you and not be confused because now how I
make my decisions, bro I might pray on some shit. I might meditate on some shit and then after I've
made a decision about it I don't have I'm honestly this is for years. I don't have no wondering about
did I make the right decision? That shit is rare now, you know, I'm saying like after you make a decision
you be like
Yeah, sir. Don't make that decision unless you gonna stand on it. Yeah, sure. Message to that story.
You know what I mean? Yeah. But that is the base, bro. Our people just gotta be right again, bro. Just
and and and I understand how we got like that. You ain't got shit. You live in the the underbelly of
the belly of the beast, baby. Right. Shit. What's the if we if we come from that, what's the sense of
still chopping each other down? We supposed to be building with one another. Yes, sir. You know what
I'm saying? So, I'll fill you on that.
Yeah, sure. And that's where it's going to start. Because see, see, this is what we talk about. We talk
about spirituality. So there is a voice inside to tell motherfuckers, right, wrong, good, bad dude.
I believe we born with that. You know how to do, right? You know what I'm saying? That's basic ground
level. You know what I'm saying? I believe you born knowing what to do, right? You know what I'm saying?
This is in order what you choose to do. And you feel when you do wrong, right?
You feel it inside, you know. That's what I realized like going back to the Ten Commandments. That was
like some base level like stuff that you're supposed to know already, balance out now still. Of course,
we that man stuff alone. So let me tell you where I've heard this argument. We talk about the black
community. I've heard this argument. We never needed the Ten Commandments. We had that. We knew that.
That's our nature. We are the soul people. Soul brother number one, all of that. We knew that.
The other people who were controlling us who enslaved us needed that book because they did not know
how to act you mainly You see what I'm saying? I said that shit basic But inhumane motherfucker What
that Bible card they say it's called basic instruction before leaving earth You need some more water
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are we good? You're good. We're gonna do this all live on camera. Good.
Good. But yeah, that's real talk. So, all of these are conversations that I've been having since I was
a young man, bro. 17 years old. Right. And you know, God know that when a man really looking for his
his connection to him, it don't matter where he come through. You know what I'm saying? He looking for
me and if he really looking for me, God know that that inside
That's true. You see what I'm saying? So it don't matter what the world see or believe or think or how
you get there or what approach you take. In fact, fuck them. Because all they out there is doing, the
whole world is outside of you damn near as a projection to judge you so you can have strength to prove
your real connection to God. What you really believe in. What they talk about or what your connection
is to what he told you. And that's what I'm saying. And that's what I'm saying. When I say told you,
it's what you feel.
When you ask about some shit and you get an answer that's inside, and you say, man, I got this, you
know what I'm saying? And you go talk to a motherfucker outside of your friend, a family, a mama,
a girl, and they don't vibe with it. And they don't vibe with it. That's where it comes in. That's where
the real challenge of your relationship with God comes in. Because is your relationship with your girl
more important? You gonna accommodate her?
You're gonna accommodate your mama. I'm gonna accommodate big homie You know I'm saying whoever you
see I'm saying or is you gonna you already know what God told you but they said And now you adjust this
shit You adjust this shit because you already know what God said But you wouldn't talk to a motherfucker
instead of just eating it using that energy and moving forward You wouldn't ask another motherfucker
who God didn't talk to
Who God ain't directing in your life, your path is your path. It ain't they motherfucking path. So they
might not have no energy toward the shit you talking about. And now you're like, damn, should I do that?
When God had already told you, but you went and took it to a motherfucker. You want to analyze it and
do two plus two. Well, if this happens and that happens and this happens and that happens, well, let
me not do that. And that's where we lose, bro. And it's because we can't trust that voice inside because
who we being.
That's why I say it start with just being good again. Because if you're not going to be good again,
you can't trust that voice. Because that nigga like, get that nigga. Know what I'm saying? That nigga
don't know. You know what I'm saying? You getting that voice. The bad guys still get that voice. You
understand what I'm saying? The righteous, that's the very beginning. So that's what I'm talking about.
That voice, right? Listening to that voice. So if your voice still telling you. All right. Well, then
you understand where you're at.
But then the other voices tell you, hey man, you know that you, hey bro, hey. And so that's the thing.
You got them voices, man. And it's who you listen to. And your mama wanted the voices. You know what
I'm saying? All these outside voices. But you know what your internal self's saying. Now, if you're
willing to walk right on that, then don't expect nothing to step forward towards you. That's what I
say. So you gotta take one step toward him and take two towards you. Now, the thing, I'm sorry, and
I know I'm going overboard.
The matter of how you hear God, that's the question, right? How do you know he fucking talking to you?
You asked the question. Now you sitting in the universe waiting on an answer from God. How the fuck
you gonna know that's true? How you know that's him? Ain't that ain't that important? Is that important
to talk about? But that's the thing when I'm talking about like when my belief started being like, like
when you talk like what I got to get him to the point like what God, you know what I'm saying?
Where is my weight? No, you know from and from who you know says like I got to that point It's like
I ain't even sitting there waiting on those sides. No words like I'm You know just go off. I don't know
you don't sound rough. That's what I'm searching for. You know, this is what I'm for the tip the reason
that we're having this conversation is because How like like I said, this is for cats who ain't never
stepped into spirituality almost
Right cats this so so me and your conversation is gonna hit other motherfuckers in a different way,
right? so First you got to stop being a bad guy, right? They'll get out proud of your crimes proud of
the negative So so the question after that is okay. All right now I'm gonna just be good and
Then that mean trust God, right? Where the fuck is God? Who is God? We ain't talking about no religion.
We ain't talking about none of that. You can name what you want to. That's why I say you can call him
universe. You can call him mother God. You can call him father God. You can call him great spirit. That's
what the Indian motherfuckers call him. You know what I'm saying? You can call him universe. You can
call it the divine matrix. You can call it whatever the fuck you want to call it. But know that there
is a power that decided for you to be in existence. Do you believe that's true? You in existence. How
you get here?
If you, if you're willing to believe that except that, right. Then you got to be able to understand
that this motherfucker can hear you somehow or, or interact with you somehow. Right. And so what is
a prayer? What is the meditation? What is these kinds of things that motherfuckers talk about praying
and hearing God's voice and listening and all of this shit. So it's really not hearing all the always
sometime it is here, but how can you hear at, I'm going to tell you, this is a test. Please, everyone
try this motherfucker at home.
Please try this out. Like they say, please don't try this at home. Please try this at home, okay? This
is a test. That's how you test God. They say test the spirit. If you really want to know how to test
God, go alone. Go away from everybody where you know ain't a motherfucker heard a thing you thinking
or saying or crying or whatever you got going on in you this deep, right? It's some deep shit. Everybody
got some deep shit. We ain't figured it out. We want to, your mama didn't do right. Something to cry
about. Something that's that level deep.
That's all I'm saying to take it to the deepest level you can take it to. Cause you're going to get
an answer that will convince you of what the fuck is true about God and his existence and how he can't
interact with you. Get the deepest shit you can think of and go pray about it. Go pray about it.
Get alone. So the emotions move so you can cry damn near about it. It hurts so deep, whatever. You know
what I'm saying? Bring that shit all the way up. Take that issue and say, if you re-approve yourself to me,
Right? Prove yourself to me. Talk to me. Share with me. Show with me. Give me some proof. Right? Ask.
Ask. Ask. But then don't be a dumb ass. You've asked the question of an unseen force that is in the
universe. And God will use any and everything in the universe to talk to you. Now you have to trust
what is happening inside. I've asked God a question of the universe. I asked a question to the universe.
God, whoever the fuck it is, he, she, blah, blah, blah.
Right names names or whatever fuck right? I've asked the only way I'm gonna really be able to get an
answer is to be listening Now I have to be listening and looking so you kind of got to turn other shit
down You can't just go do everything that you used to do now You see what I'm saying? You got it. Yeah,
that's what it is You can't just keep fucking moving around doing everything that you used to do You
kind of you know anything that ain't necessary don't do just chill the fuck out and wait on that answer
to a degree Not saying don't do your life, but you understand what I'm saying
Let's not go party. Let's not go freak with the girl. Let's not go, you know what I'm saying? Get drunk.
You see what I'm saying? Shut the fuck up and listen for this answer and just wait. Yeah, exactly. 100,
right? And when you do, remember you listening, right? And God will hit your ass with an answer. It's
going to come through the radio. It's going to come through the TV. It's going to come when you go over
your homeboy house. You're going to step in the door. Motherfucking TV going to say blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah. And your spirit going to be like me. And you're going to be like, damn, is that guy?
Was that, that mother just asked the question I've been asking. You gonna walk by my mother in the grocery
store, hear two people talking, they gonna say it. You see what I'm saying? That's how it happens. God
will use any and everything in the universe to give you that answer, but you gotta be listening for
it. And when it come, don't look at it as coincidence. If you look at it as coincidence, you off the
fucking path, you right back in the matrix. You ask the question, that nigga gave you an answer. Okay,
he gave you an answer. You walked by, you heard it.
Don't nobody in the universe know that you thinking about this thing cuz you asked it you see nothing
Now you wanted to it in the radio you run to it in the mother mother stole you run to it over you boy
How just some random movement in life you hear that answer, right? Trust that is God Okay, trust that
is spirit trust that is universe trust that is divine may trust that is your answer Move on it Move
on it. Yes, sir. And if you move on it
another thing gonna happen that's gonna let you know, oh shit, oh shit. God bless, this was a valuable
conversation. That is exactly how, yes. Then you realize, damn, I am on the right path. Some shit happening
here. So yes, it's real. And that's what you've experienced, right?
I'm experiencing it currently right now. You know, it's like that's why I'm over here. It's like this
ain't no accident Yeah, you know having this conversation, you know, I feel like I'm on my current,
uh, you know spiritual past Like currently right now, you know, you know, you know, and it's a struggle.
You know, I'm saying it's like Right this way they call faith coming, right? You know, I say all this
shit is religious terminology because that's how we understand it, right? I gotta do with no religion
But this is where faith come in. You know, you're doing right. Right. That's all you know. I'm doing
right. Yeah. Every fucking day and just listen for the signs and wait. So this is my theory about like
how motherfuckers like Freud and Einstein and Tesla became great minds, bro. They didn't have all the
distractions. They could sit with just that back in the day. They had TVs, cars, radios. You know what
I'm saying? These motherfuckers back in the time was just horses and
quiet times and shit, you know what I'm saying? So they could use their mind way more differently than
we do. We constantly, especially black folks, we're constantly trying to survive. So you never, you
hardly ever get to think deep, you know what I'm saying? Deep, deep philosophical perspectives that
might be of how the world really set up. You know what I'm saying? That shit is rare. And so I've had
that opportunity, but
You know, that shit was at a cost. I ain't get no money. I'm broke. You know what I'm saying? I'm a
poor man like everybody else now. You know what I'm saying? But that ain't really a concern for me.
I don't really consider myself poor. I feel like it's just a redirection of attention. That's how we
program. Can't eat no books, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't eat no books. Exactly, exactly, exactly. So
one of the things that I'm on is to prove to the world that watch my spirituality bring financial abundance.
That's what I'm finna prove because no, I'm not finna I'm not eating your matrix, but I'm not going
into your matrix to do shit to get the money out No, I'm going to live walking this spiritual shit and
I'm approved I'm a pull that shit in anyway, right? Yeah, I'm saying that's a proof. That's a that's
a task of my spiritual walk You see what I'm saying? That is one of my motherfucking tasks cuz I ain't
I can't go the other way. You know I'm saying
And that's where I'm at now too is like, I'm trying to free my mind, break the shackles of, you know,
just what I've been accustomed to, you know, because it wasn't working for me. And now I'm at the point
now in my life, like I need to do what's working for me.